laborofwonder

Where Whine Meets Wine

The Ways of The (My) Man

on January 13, 2012

My hubbyman is one of those “man’s man” kinda guys. You know, the kind that will invent a huge project filled with lumber and tools just to avoid any kind of mall or store. Now, I’m not really complaining about that, I prefer the mall without my husband, usually. I’m a wanderer, and he’s a complainer. Those things just don’t mix. And I thoroughly appreciate the fact that he can take care of pretty much any need that should arise in the home, be it plumbing, painting, or any form of carpentry. (Remember the Thomas bed? sidenote: I thought I had a post with the kids in it, in all it’s finished glory…but I couldn’t seem to find it. Hmm. Although I do think I have it in an album on facebook- go ahead, “like” me on facebook and see!) Anyhow, he’s more than a jack of all trades, he’s one of those people who is just good at everything. Or at least anything that you can turn into a project.

I joined my hubbyman for a happy hour with his coworkers last night and they joked about when the last time they saw him smile was. The last time I’d joined them for happy hour, they joked about how one of their goals is to get hubbyman to show more than one emotion in a day. If this isn’t starting to paint a picture, let me tell you about a joke that we have shared for most of our marriage. When apologizing, I tell him that I am sorry I hurt his feeling. Feeling. Singular. As in he only has one. While this is, of course, in jest. And he really is a kind-hearted, loving man, and father… he is just a very focused one. A very focused, man’s man, kind of one. The kind of man who’s always thinking about the big picture, so he’s always working harder, finding another project, and doing something. He is always thinking about and trying to make our lives better.  He is a hard worker and an excellent provider, but (admittedly) not the greatest of communicators. He’s not the kind of guy who does big romantic gestures, or gives romantic speeches in prose. And if I’m needing to hear something, I generally have to tell him. But when he does do (or say) something without my prodding, it is always heartfelt and better than anything I could have come up with on my own. He knows I am a card person (I love giving and receiving them, always have.), and my favorites are when he has made me very elaborate cards, and due to his artistic capabilities (Truly!), they are always works of art. I don’t mean he took a blank piece of paper, folded it in half and wrote I love you on the inside and called it good. I mean he spent more than an hour on it, and it really is a work of art.

I recently was reading a post from the lovely Karyl, at ilovethishusbandandwifestuff. She was talking about how her hubby tells her she’s beautiful and how hard it is to receive that compliment sometimes, and I commented on the post and have been thinking about it ever since. Even though my hubbyman may not be the most sensitive of men, when he does go there, it’s always memorable. Here is part of my comment in response to her post. (And what gets me through in between all the manly man stuff to remind me that even when he’s wrapped up in a project, I am what he loves.)

I’ve known my husband since I was 14 and sometimes I wonder what he thinks as he watches me growing older. But even in our early 20s he told me he had a dream where he saw us sitting on our porch together, little old grandparents watching over the lives we’d built. And he saw me with grey hair. And he always smiles when he talks of this dream and tells me he can’t wait to see me at that age, and that he thinks that’s the most beautiful I’ll ever be. Where the lines on my face and the grey of my hair are symbols of the life and the time we’ve lived together.There’s just something so sweet about a man who sees his spouse through eyes of life. Where even though you’re so tired or you’re in your sweatpants, or you’ll never look like Heidi Klum, it doesn’t matter because when he looks at you he doesn’t just see the beauty in your face, he sees your heart, and your lives, and all that you’ve put into it. And that’s always the best compliment. 

And really, could it get any better than that? When it comes down to all his man’s man projects, and thinking, and feeling… I’d take his random, heart-felt, and heart-melting words, cards, and moments over weekly flowers any day.  (But I’d still accept and love the flowers.)

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3 responses to “The Ways of The (My) Man

  1. Letjoy says:

    so I miss you and hubbyman and the kiddos. I think that we need to fix this problem. Youw two are so cute together the way you look at eachother is so cute. You still get a sparkel in your eye when you are with him 🙂

  2. […] I choose a life with my husband who supports me and tells me I am beautiful (and always will be- read this). I choose a life with my wild, funny, snuggley little loves. I choose a life that includes jeans […]

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