laborofwonder

Where Whine Meets Wine

Nov 30

Give Me A Break

by motherofwonder

TODAYMoms and the people over at Redbook (the magazine) have declared today “No Judgment Day!” (The links will not only take you to their sites, but to their articles about No Judgment Day) It’s all about a day of not judging other moms, as much as not judging yourself! And I tell you what- it couldn’t have come at a better time! Today is day 4  of Miss E and Littlest E having running faucets noses, day 2 of Big E being fevered with a sore throat, and the day I woke up feeling like someone had clawed their way down my throat. So while I was looking around my house thinking all kinds of “judgey“things about myself and trying to find the motivation to make myself crawl around the house getting things done while willing my children to stay whinelessly on the couch while I do so. Neither being very likely. Then I read the No Judgment article. So today, since I likely won’t leave the house, I am giving myself a day free of self-judgement.

TodayMom is asking you to go to their facebook page and answer the question, “Don’t judge me because…’  If you go there, and happen to read my answer- please don’t judge me.

Staying true to theme, here is a short list of things I have decided not to judge myself for today (and I’m hoping that you’ll join me in not judging me for these things!).

  • I made banana cream pudding for breakfast and the kids are on their second bowl. I really made it because it was what sounded good to me.
  • While I eyed the laundry in need of folding, I just faced the other direction, wrapped myself in a blanket, and cuddled with my kids while watching a cheesy Christmas movie.
  • We chopped a little tree last Thursday, but it’s in water outside as I still don’t have a stand for it…
  • I have no Christmas decorations up/out
  • There are more toys on the floor than in their bins (that may be a slight exaggeration, emphasis on the slight.)
  • I know it’s before noon, but now is when I usually decide what to make for dinner (so that I can have things thawed/marinated/know what to send hubbyman to the store for), but I already know that I don’t want to make dinner.
  • I have a house full of fruits and vegetables (and meals made from them) and I have no interest in any of it. Only banana pudding. And a craving for a some spaghettio-s.
  • I may just make soup for dinner, even though I know hubbyman won’t like it. (the only soup he deems acceptable is tomato, and only as long as it’s paired with grilled cheese. Otherwise soup does not constitute a meal. If he sees soup he’ll continue looking through the kitchen/oven/fridge hoping I also prepared something else to go along with it.)
  • I’m thinking nap time should begin at 11am today!
  • I refuse to get out of my pajamas today. I labeled MissE’s pajamas as “comfy clothes” to get her to join me in the pajama wearing party.
  • I have no even thought about Christmas cards. And I’m refusing to give them another thought today.

Are there things you judge other parents for? Are there things you feel judged on by other mom’s (or dad’s)? Are there things you judge yourself for? Give yourself  -and others- a free pass today! And try to carry a little less judgment through the rest of the year!

Family Life According To Me

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Nov 29

Signs My Children Are Evil Geniuses

by motherofwonder

Ok, maybe they’re not evil…. and maybe they’re not geniuses (I’m saying that for the sole reason that there are parents out there whose children are not geniuses, and if that’s you, I want you to keep reading with a clear mind, instead of one muddled with thoughts of how your children are under-achievers.. Obviously, mine actually are geniuses.)

Sign #1. As I typed of them truly being geniuses, my youngest stripped off his diaper, only to immediately pee on the floor. And then cry about being wet. My children love to make a liar out of me, or maybe just a fool. Either way they win; I lose.

Sign #2. The men on my husband’s side all need to be fed before they get hungry or disaster ensues. So if one of my boys says they’re hungry, for the love of all things peaceful, feed them and feed them quick! My oldest always seems to get hungry just as I’m in the middle of doing something tedious/time consuming/I have to get done which means that I’ll make him something fast like a PB&J (this kid would live on it if he had the choice) instead of cooking an entire meal.

Sign #3. They keep me guessing. MissE will whine and whine and whine. Just when I think I’m, going to lose it with her, and the constant questions, requests, and flat out whining, she’ll respond with, I was asking if I could have this orange to share with Big E, because we’re hungry and it’s healthy for us so we’ll grow big and strong. They do all these childish things and then spout out some grown up paraphernalia. Yesterday, MissE’s complaint was that Littlest E just didn’t appreciate her. Yes, those were her words.

Sign #4. I’m guessing most people with a dog probably also have this problem, but I’m adding it in as collective evidence. Something they don’t want to eat but have been told they have to?  It inevitably gets spilled on the floor where the dog lay in wait, before I could even think about the possibility of making them eat it anyways. (I’m not specifically saying I would, just saying it’s gone before I could even process that thought!)

Sign #. This may be the most telling sign of all. My children are good helpers. Big E wakes up and lets the dog out, often all on his own. Miss E is my “fetcher” (as she woman looks for objects where as my boys “man look”- which either means that it truly is genetic, or Big E is a bigger evil genius than I realized), and even Littlest E loves to help put away toys. They love to help so much that they often argue over who gets to do what. If I ask someone to let the dog back in and one keeps playing, while the other goes running… the one left behind falls into hysterics as they obviously wanted to be the one to do it. And heaven forbid I ask one of them specifically to do something for me, the other is always hurt that I didn’t ask them to do it. Which means that sometimes I weigh the time spent calming them down vs. time spent doing the job itself. And I admit there are times when I just do things myself because that’s easier than dealing with the but-I-wanted-to-do-it fall out. Which just may be exactly what they wanted….

She *looks* so unsuspecting, doesn't she?

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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Nov 21

The White Fluffy Stuff (that isn’t marshmallows)

by motherofwonder

Can I just say that the Saturday before Thanksgiving is not a great time for a quick trip to the grocery store?? I spent twice as long in line as I did shopping. After returning from our outing, I sat down for a(nother) cup of coffee. When I filled my cup, there was nothing going on outside. By the time my cup was empty (like 30 minutes, maybe 45), I glanced out the door and scared hubbyman by gasping, Look! The deck was covered, along with all the roofs of our neighbors and most of the yards. (Backstory; Big E has been asking every morning if today will be the day it will snow. I’d been telling him all week that Saturday would be the day. And he’d already asked a couple times on our trip out if it was time for the snow yet.) So I flew downstairs and grabbed my biggest boy, covered his eyes, and brought him to the window. His eyes widened and he shrieked, It’s snow!!  He helped his daddy shovel the driveway and made a snowman. He has since been very concerned about doing everything possible to not let the snow melt. Including trying to convince his parents to move his snowman into the freezer. That’s a reasonable request, right?

Another thing keeping me laughing during all the craziness that the holidays can bring on… every time I’ve looked at Littlest E this morning he says, Shake! Booty! And then starts dancing. Highly entertaining!

A few days ago Littlest E did some raking. This weekend Big E shoveled the walkway. Wonder what child labor I can find for Miss E this week?

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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Nov 18

Is Today Over Yet?

by motherofwonder

So this morning has been a little chaotic…and it’s not quite 9am. I rolled over in the nighttime to find that Big E had climbed into bed with us, which normally I actually don’t mind, but it was the 3rd night in a row. Once a month I’m totally ok with, once a week I could probably ignore, but three nights in a row is it for this mommy. Which, unfortunately for his daddy, means the next few nights if he gets up, his daddy is taking him back to bed. I should mention, Littlest E was already in there with us. So now there were 2 wiggley boys…one who likes the blankets on, and one who likes them off, and two that don’t sleep if anyone else is touching them. At least they got some sleep. So now you know how I slept, would you like to know how I woke up? No? Too bad, I’m telling you anyways! I woke up to Littlest E pulling my laptop down off the ledge (right above my bed) and onto my face. I still have the headache to prove it.

And I only had enough of my coffee to make one cup… which pretty much ensures that this will be a day where I want need more than one cup. I thought of mixing it with hubbyman’s dark french roast…but decided that would be wasting the one perfectly good cup. So I went ahead and made what I had. Only to have Littlest E pick up my freshly-poured cup and dump it. I was able to whisk the laptop out from under his wrath, but his sister did not fare so well. And was much more vocal. In frustration, and defeat, I bargained for some quiet by offering to turn on Strawberry Shortcake for her. Which is perhaps the best bargaining tool for my little girl. Only to not be able to get the wii going (to play netflix on). Next I moved onto our new logitech revue (basically a fancy-schmancy remote within a keyboard that turns your tv into a “smart tv”… which doesn’t seem to have any of the actual features I’d been duped with in order to purchase it). I’d beg to differ about the “smart” part because for the life of me I could not figure out how to get the remote to actually work to run. After trying to figure it out for over 30 minutes. I gave up. There goes my bargaining tool. The next 30 minutes were spent trying to convince my little red-head that Cat in The Hat was just as good as Strawberry Shortcake. She finally relented, or moved on to silent loathing, you can never be too sure which. Just in time for Big E to wake up, and request watching a certain show, that of course is also through Netflix. He was fairly certain that it would work and that I just didn’t want to stop cleaning the coffee out of the carpet. Now, I’m not big on cartoons, but I’m pretty sure that even I would rather watch his kids’ animation than to clean my one-cup-of-good-coffee stain out of the carpet.

And then I sat down, decided to write a brilliant, funny post and wouldn’t you know, as I wrote the last sentence. All but the first two sentences deleted. And while it normally saves every couple of minutes or however often it does that… this time, it of course saved after the deletion. Ok, I can’t promise that it was brilliant, or that there were more than a few moments of laughter-inducing words…but the rest of it is true. Good thing it’s Friday! I’m going to focus on the fact that we have a rather plan-free weekend ahead of us, instead of panicking over the plan-filled-holicraze that begins next week.

And in light of me trying to change my outlook on this day, here are some things that I actually am thankful for:

  • children. As crazy as they can make me feel, never a day goes by where I’m not struck by how blessed I am to have each one of them.
  • hubbyman cleaned out the dryer vent and it not dries waaaaay more efficiently. Like half the time, at least! It’s amazing.
  • That it’s boot season. I know that’s not life-changing, but I love my boots. And if that’s what gets me through how long winters here are, I’m ok with that.
  • That my children play so well with one another for so much of the day.
  • That I have not let the house get out of hand this week (it happens so fast sometimes!).
  • That this weeks meals were met with rave reviews (Big E requested that we have my meatloaf and “smashed ‘tatoes” every night.)
  • That we may have measurable snow this weekend! (Yes, I just complained about the length of winter, only to say I’m thankful for snow. I get the irony. Color me Minnesotan.)

Littlest through a blue vase

Family Life According To Me Thankful Fridays Things Kids Say

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Nov 17

Football For Life!

by motherofwonder

I am a girl who very much likes football. Really. My whole little family could be a walking Viking commercial. (In looking for pictures to post, I found I had more pictures of us in Viking gear than I thought and had a hard time choosing!) I like football, in general,so much I will (willingly) watch games that are not featuring “my team.” Now before the rest of my contemporaries throw me under the bus for “betraying  my kind,” know that it is a great bonding time with my hubbyman, one that the kids have gotten in on. Seriously, Big E would sit and watch a whole game with his daddy when he was too little to be watching tv! And they love “our” team so much that they have a hard time accepting that a) there are any other teams, b) anyone would cheer for any other team, and c) that their beloved Vikings could not win a game. (All Viking fans have this problem, I’m sure. Please, withhold your laughter. It’s bad enough to be a fan. Don’t kick us while we’re down.) I came across this video via the f’book this morning and laughed watching it…and I assure you, you will too. And if you’re not laughing, you are probably commiserating.

This is just too hilarious, sad, and true…and anyone that knows my children, knows how easily this could have been a video of one of them (I know I already said this, but it bears repeating!)! In fact, when I showed them this video, they responded in 3 ways:

Watching a game with daddy. Really.

Big E: The Vikings show? Is it time for the Viking show now?

Me: No, that was a couple days ago.

Big E: Did you forget to tell me what time it was?

Me: No, you watched a little bit of it, but you were watching a movie in the playroom instead.

Big E: I don’t think you told me the Viking show was on. Daddy would have wanted me to watch the Viking show with him. He likes me to see them win and do the touchdown.

Me: I know he does. But the Vikings didn’t win this time.

Big E: (getting very upset) Yes, they did.

Me: I wish they had, trust me, but they didn’t win this time.

Big E: I am never going to trust you because I did want them to win and I didn’t want to watch a movie instead of the Viking show.

MissE in Viking apparel via Grama

Miss E: Why is that little girl crying?

Me: Because she wanted the Vikings to win.

Miss E: Did they not do many touchdowns?

Me: No, they did not do many touchdowns.

Miss E: (begins to cry) but I only like it when the Vikings win.

Me: I know, me too.

Miss E: (Throws herself on the couch, while crying) You should never say the Vikings didn’t win. They only win.

Daddy and "the big 2"- before they were big

Littlest E: (pointing at computer screen) Baby

Me: She’s bigger than you. You are the baby.

Littlest E: (pointing at computer screen) Baby! (pointing at himself) Big boy!

Me: This argument is going to go as well as the Vikings loss…

Littlest at a Viking's game!

Even my littlest man thinks it's shocking how bad the Vikes are this year!

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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Nov 7

Wheelin’ And Dealin’

by motherofwonder

So I’m trying to make a deal with Littlest E about wearing his diapers, and if he’s not wearing them, where he should be going potty. Right now it seems like we’re at floor 12 – potty 4. He really is young for potty training, but he hates diapers. He takes them off as soon as a droplet of anything hits the diaper, if he leaves it on long enough for any droplets to hit. He frequently can be found stripping off his diaper and then taking aim at the floor. Thankfully it’s just the pee version that hits the floor. The other form of potty is saved for the actual potty. Which is awesome! I should mention, he is 15 months old, so the fact that he uses and wants to use, and requests to use, the potty at all is pretty freakin’ amazing/exciting. So how exactly do you make a deal with a 15 month old? I’m not sure. If you have any ideas, feel free to send them my way!  I’m thinking I’ll test out duct tape and super tight pants. Skinny jeans would be hard to peel off (especially over cloth diapers!), right?? Maybe I could make pants with the duct tape? Lets see him shimmy outta that!

As soon as I’d typed these words in, I turned around to see Littlest Man sans diaper and hunched over….

Me: Ah!! *Littlest E*!!

MissE: Mom, he doesn’t like diapers. But don’t let him go potty on the floor. That’s gross.

Me: I know.

MissE: Then don’t let him do that.

Me: I didn’t let him do that. 

MissE: Then why didn’t you put him on the potty?

Me: I thought he was wearing a diaper, and he’s still kinda little to understand when to use the potty. And Ididn’t think he could get his diaper off while it was under his pants.

MissE: You were wrong.

Me: Obviously. Let’s get his diaper with the snaps, and go find some duct tape.

In other news, we may be getting some snow tonight and tomorrow… any chance anyone knows a good deal I can make to have two summers in a row, instead?

Happy Monday folks! May your day be filled with clean clothes, fresh food, and dry floors.

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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Oct 13

Did I Show You?

by motherofwonder

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
-Audrey Hepburn

Those are just such lovely words, and as I sat thinking about them this morning, I thought about all the other wonderful things I want my children to grow knowing. And hoping that not only do I teach them and tell them things to prepare them for life, but also to show them. So this is my letter to the future them…

Dear children, you are adults now. I hope that I taught you and told you all of the things I meant to, over the years. But most importantly I hope I showed you by modeling them in my own life. Did I show you how important you each are as individuals? Because you are. Even on days when things get lost in the busyness of doing the laundry, making the dinner, and driving you to Tae Kwon Do and dance class.

Did I show you how to be courteous to each other and to others, without ever being anyone’s doormat?  Did I show you that life is filled with choices and so you need to choose carefully. Did I show you to reach for, wait for, and work for all the things that really matter in life, including your biggest dreams?

Did I show you that even in the middle of the biggest heartache, you can find some reprieve in humor? Did I show you that there is always reasons to hope? Did I show you that even though sometimes things don’t go the way we planned, it doesn’t mean that it’s not a blessing or that there isn’t a plan? Did I show you what faith looks like? Did I show you how to believe in yourselves, by believing in you myself?

Did I show you how to be creative? Did I show you that creativity has many forms, and all of them are worthwhile? Did I show you to invest in whatever your creative interests may be?

Did I show you to be thoughtful of people and their needs? Did I show you to have meaning behind your manners? Did I show you to not just say the words of politeness, but also to mean them? Did I show you to have some courage? Did I show you how to embrace the unknown  and live your life to its fullest? Did I also show you to have some control over (your father’s) sense of adventure and to pair it with (your mother’s) good judgement? (*wink*)

Did I show you that even when we disagree the most, we can still love the deepest? Did I show you to dance wherever you feel like it; to sing as loud as you can; to love as thoroughly as you feel; to listen to the words said and unsaid; to laugh as hysterically as you can; be as compassionate as you can be?

Did I show you how to learn from your mistakes? To accept your mistakes? To move past them? Did I show you how to embrace the past, without dragging it into your futures? Did I show you to be considerate of the feelings of others, but to not sit still or silently when change is necessary? Did I show you how to not be afraid of speaking up and speaking out?

Did I show you how beautiful the world around it can be? Did I show you how to live in a way that makes the best of what we have been given? Did I show you the value of making your own path in life? Did I show you the reasons behind the things I believe, and the beliefs I hope you cling to?

Did I show you that I love you more than words could ever express? Did I show you that I am proud of your beyond belief? Did I show you that I believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself? Did I show you that I am someone you can always trust and come to for support, comfort, and laughter? Did I show you the joy of being a family? How to live and work as a team? Did I show you my joy of being your parent?

I know you learn through experiences as much as through what you see being demonstrated for you, more than just what has been told to you. So I am hoping that I have shown you all of these things along the way. I hope that I did, but if I missed one along the way, I hope that I have shown you enough that you can make the right choices for yourselves.

Did I show you I love you forever, and always, to the moon and back, plus *16?

Because I do, and I always will.

 

*As soon as Big E could talk, when I’d ask how much he loved mommy, he would shout 16! When asked why 16, he said it was because it was a big number. So big that it was too big to count.  So now when we say our “I love you’s” I always include the 16. (Miss E has also joined in the fun.) But Big E now responds with, Moooom, there’s no numbers in love. And I can’t help but smile and say, but if there were it would be a big number. So big that it’s too big to count.

Family Life According To Me Things You Should Say

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Oct 7

I’m Thankful

by motherofwonder

So if you’re wondering why week after week (when I don’t forget!) I continue to post a list of things I’m thankful for? Because I believe thankfulness is a very important thing to maintain thankfulness in your life. And I find when I am focusing on the things I am thankful for, I’m focusing less on things that bug me, and therefore, I’m happier. Because we all know the adage of “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy,” and the fact that there’s a whole lot of truth in that statement! So, mama’s trying to maintain a happy household!

*I am thankful for creative, innovative people like Steve Jobs. People who challenge the status-quo and challenge us to think for ourselves.

*I am thankful for a husband who is handy and has a very task-oriented mindset.

*I am thankful for children who love me unconditionally (at least so far!)

*I am thankful for friends to unwind with (and stay with to get out of the paint smell!!)

 

Thankful Fridays

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Oct 6

Perfect I Am. Not.

by motherofwonder

I’m going to share a secret with you. Nevermind, no, I’m not… Oh, fine. *Sigh* Ok, here goes. Sometimes I am not a perfect parent. I have a temper, I can be impatient, and some days I get really, really frustrated. (And I realize that I basically just said I’m impatient three times.) (This may go along with why I’m not a perfect spouse either, but that’s another story.)

I never would have imagined myself getting this frustrated with my children. After all, I wanted them and I love them… how could these three sweet beings make me so mad I could become a fire breathing dragon? I know this is all very shocking to find out… I was shocked as well. But there you have it, I am not a perfect parent.

When I’m tired, I am not my best self. And I’m tired a lot. I am guilty of giving them “quiet time” just because I needed some quiet time (and not because they actually needed/deserved the time out). I am guilty of disciplining them above their paygrade (or age). I am guilty of giving one preferential treatment over the other, based on who is currently being “the whiney one”, even when I know they are just needing some focused attention. I am guilty of wishing they would just shut up, even when they’re just (noisily) playing, or asking  a question-filled child, Can’t you ever be quiet?!? I am guilty of parenting in a way that does not coincide with what I believe parenting should be, for our family. I am guilty of throwing temper tantrums that may rival most 3 year olds.

Before you call my husband, or social services, you should know that these aren’t daily occurrences (at least not all of them every day/in the same day). But they happen, and I’m admitting it because… well, because maybe they happen to you too? And admittance is the first step, right?

So while I may have a meltdown one minute, I can assure you that it’s usually (about 98.5% of the time) followed by immediate remorse, apologies, talks, hugs, kisses, and the taking of a deep breath. Because while my impatience can sometimes reduce me to 3-year-old-antics, I am actually an adult, and I really do try and behave like one. At least when it comes to my children. And I know that really, this is not the way I’d envisioned parenting, nor is it the way I want to be parenting.

Why am I telling you this information? Because I’m human. Because I’m being honest. Because I want you to know that you’re not alone,  and since I’m being honest, I’ll admit that maybe it’s because I want to know that I’m not alone. Most importantly, because I want to make a change. I have gotten so little sleep lately that my patience has been thin-to none. And Mommy has been more drill sergeant than teacher. As my children are getting older, they will be remembering more and more. I can’t help but wondering if I’ve been behaving in a manner I’d appreciate them remembering?

I have one more thing to admit- The downside to attempting to have more patience and be a more patient parent? I’m going to be given opportunities to be tested. Crap.

Family Life According To Me

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Oct 4

ISO: Coffee IV

by motherofwonder

Yesterday, I used the humor that is my daughter to drag myself through the day, and put me in a better mood. Today, however, I will be inserting a coffee IV to simply keep me alive. I have no gotten more than 5 hrs of sleep at night for the last month, with only one exception. Last Friday, Littlest E slept through the night and I only woke once with a coughing fit. My allergies have been worse this year than they have in the last couple, and when they were at their worst, we had several dust and plaster filled projects going on that left their particles to settle in my lungs. The last two weeks Littlest E has gotten two of his molars in (One on top and one on the bottom- on opposite sides. For some reason, I find this weird.) and therefore has been waking every half hour after midnight, and due to the dust in my lungs, I was spending the first couple hours coughing and trying to get comfortable. I’d finally fall asleep just in time to be woken by a cranky little man. And, despite the state my home is currently in, I have been up until waaaay toooo late cleaning multiple times a week, for the last month. So short story made long and boring- I’m tired. So very tired.

We were supposed to have someone coming to the house for an inspection this morning and so I ran frantically yesterday (we didn’t get the notice until right before I left for a weekend away) trying to unpack and clean… with two children (MissE and Littlest E) who are either having allergies or are coming down with something. So as much as I could do with two little ones who don’t feel good (especially considering one is just over a year… and therefore becoming a stage 5 “clinger”). And then I stayed up until 1:30am cleaning. Or attempting to, in my sleep exhausted state. Staying up when I’m that tired is really kind of pointless, because I move in such slow motion.  I finally climb into bed and just as I drift off, littlest E wakes up and is not happy. He remains unhappy until almost 6, and then sleeps until about 7:45ish. I then rush around doing a final clean up before the 9:30 appointment, only to find out that it’s been cancelled.

It’s only 11 and I’ve already endured 3 hours of pretty constant whining and have only had a brief reprieve from having multiple children (simultaneously) try and form themselves to my leg. I finally get Littlest to release his vice grip on my leg, so I can attempt and get something productive done… only to turn around and have him run screaming to me. When he settles I finally see what’s going on… there was a bucket that still had some paint left in it, without being sealed shut. He had eaten some, had it smeared all over his face and hands, along with his brand new clothes. And it’s not all over one of my favorite shirts and one of my 2 pairs of jeans that actually fit.

I clean him, and myself, as much as  can, and feed him (to get rid of the paint taste if nothing else). And while he’s content to play for a moment, I grab the computer looking for a moment of reprieve. Only to find that Hubbyman has messaged me to tell me he’s going out to happy hour with some vendors from work tonight and that Friday they’re going on a “booze cruise” (a paddle boat ride around one of the rivers) as a work outing. I’ve decided I’m not going to respond until I’ve gotten at least 10 hours of sleep. At this rate, I will be responding in late December.

I no longer track my sleep by how many hours I get (why would I when the number is so low and scary, like last nights >2?), but by how many cups of coffee will be needed to keep me awake. Today, I will be requiring an IV.

What do you do when you’ve gotten no sleep after multiple nights?

Family Life According To Me Marriage

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