Where Whine Meets Wine

Signs My Children Are Evil Geniuses

on November 29, 2011

Ok, maybe they’re not evil…. and maybe they’re not geniuses (I’m saying that for the sole reason that there are parents out there whose children are not geniuses, and if that’s you, I want you to keep reading with a clear mind, instead of one muddled with thoughts of how your children are under-achievers.. Obviously, mine actually are geniuses.)

Sign #1. As I typed of them truly being geniuses, my youngest stripped off his diaper, only to immediately pee on the floor. And then cry about being wet. My children love to make a liar out of me, or maybe just a fool. Either way they win; I lose.

Sign #2. The men on my husband’s side all need to be fed before they get hungry or disaster ensues. So if one of my boys says they’re hungry, for the love of all things peaceful, feed them and feed them quick! My oldest always seems to get hungry just as I’m in the middle of doing something tedious/time consuming/I have to get done which means that I’ll make him something fast like a PB&J (this kid would live on it if he had the choice) instead of cooking an entire meal.

Sign #3. They keep me guessing. MissE will whine and whine and whine. Just when I think I’m, going to lose it with her, and the constant questions, requests, and flat out whining, she’ll respond with, I was asking if I could have this orange to share with Big E, because we’re hungry and it’s healthy for us so we’ll grow big and strong. They do all these childish things and then spout out some grown up paraphernalia. Yesterday, MissE’s complaint was that Littlest E just didn’t appreciate her. Yes, those were her words.

Sign #4. I’m guessing most people with a dog probably also have this problem, but I’m adding it in as collective evidence. Something they don’t want to eat but have been told they have to?  It inevitably gets spilled on the floor where the dog lay in wait, before I could even think about the possibility of making them eat it anyways. (I’m not specifically saying I would, just saying it’s gone before I could even process that thought!)

Sign #. This may be the most telling sign of all. My children are good helpers. Big E wakes up and lets the dog out, often all on his own. Miss E is my “fetcher” (as she woman looks for objects where as my boys “man look”- which either means that it truly is genetic, or Big E is a bigger evil genius than I realized), and even Littlest E loves to help put away toys. They love to help so much that they often argue over who gets to do what. If I ask someone to let the dog back in and one keeps playing, while the other goes running… the one left behind falls into hysterics as they obviously wanted to be the one to do it. And heaven forbid I ask one of them specifically to do something for me, the other is always hurt that I didn’t ask them to do it. Which means that sometimes I weigh the time spent calming them down vs. time spent doing the job itself. And I admit there are times when I just do things myself because that’s easier than dealing with the but-I-wanted-to-do-it fall out. Which just may be exactly what they wanted….

She *looks* so unsuspecting, doesn't she?

4 responses to “Signs My Children Are Evil Geniuses

  1. winsomebella says:

    I remember those days………..very fun post. And what a cutie!

  2. Alisha says:

    Logan has a fit if he doesn’t have food within about 3 minutes of saying “mom, my tomach is hungee” it’s totally a Rablin thing!!!

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