Life According To Me | laborofwonder

My Wish For You

by motherofwonder

While we are normally in the land of the cold and the frozen… two days ago we endured a 103 degree day, with lots of wind and humidity. Here I sit today, two days later in my boot slippers, sweatpants, and a sweatshirt. And I’m not hot. Granted, it will assuredly be warmer by the end of the day, but for now… sometimes I think the weather here is something of a joke God’s playing on all of us that have chosen to continue to live here through the cold, cold of the winter to the hot, hot summers.

Today while I’m trying to get things cleaned up before a)out of town company comes; b) hubby leaves for his trip (let’s face it, life won’t get easier when he’s gone!); and c) I leave for a quick getaway (because there’s nothing worse than coming home to a mess)…oh I was saying, today, while trying to get things cleaned up quickly, I’m being followed. And it’s making really weird noises. Ok, so it’s Littlest E, and it’s kissing noises he’s making. Every time I turn around and look at him, he gives me his big toothy grin, followed by his screech of a laugh! It’s adorable and oh so distracting. I mean, seriously, how am I supposed to not give him a kiss when he’s chasing me making kissing noises?! He’s also just learned to shake his head (as in like you would do if you were telling me no)… and now likes to do that anytime anyone says anything. I’m thinking his siblings may have given him the “head shake” a time or two… anyways, see what I mean about distracting? Just talking about him is distracting! (*chuckle* he’s so cute) So let me get back to where I was, or at least where I meant to be heading with this all… Littlest E will be 1 year in less than a month! (*sob*) and I cannot get over just how fast it went by!! I think the more children you have, the fast the littlest’s first year goes. I haven’t done any formal research on the subject, it’s just my humble opinion. So as I think about the last year and how fast it went it had me thinking about things I wish for him in the future. Things I wish for all of my children as they learn and grow and (*gasp*) become their own individuals, outside their relationship with me. So here is my quick list of ten things that I hope (and hopefully am doing more to make them reality than just hoping!!) for their lives:

1. I hope they are always willing to learn. Big things and small things alike. Learn. From me, because of me, and probably sometimes in spite of me.

2. I hope they learn the difference in doing something because it feels right and doing something because they know it is right.

3. I hope they always know that the unique, wonderful individuals they are…are exactly the wonderful, unique individuals they were created to be. Hopefully in less time than it took me to figure that out.

4. I hope they learn the value of laughter. It’s healing, it’s bonding, it’s life affirmations. Not just making others laugh (which I know they already know to do), but being able to laugh themselves. In hard times as well as good times.

5. I hope they always remember the adage of “You cannot change others, you can only change yourselves.” Even if they grow to dislike it out of annoyance as they grow, the way I may or may not have felt…before passing it on to my own children.

6. I hope they always know that God is bigger. (I should not ask God if He knows how big my storm is. I should be asking the storm if he knows how big my God is. -paraphrased because I can’t remember it exactly)

7. I hope they always feel beautiful but that they know that’s not where the real beauty and value lies; for themselves or for others.

8. I hope they grow knowing that their ideas are valuable and pertinent. And always worth exploring.

9. I hope they grow knowing and believing the importance of family and community. How to live in one, and be a part of one, successfully.

10. And I can’t help but add this, and mean it whole-heartedly… I hope they always love their mama. I hope that I have raised them in a way where they know that not only can they depend on me, but they want to.

11. Ok, I know I said 10, but I just wanted to add this in- That their dreams stay big and their worries stay small. And that they’ve enough of their father’s type A, can do personality that they can put it into action. With maybe some of my optimism thrown in.

*I also hope I’ll be able to handle it when I’m not their favorite person, when I’m not the one they choose to share their secrets with anymore… because right now, that sounds pretty devastating to me. Maybe at that point we’ll be ready to talk about foster care or adoption. That way I’ll always have at least one person in the house that likes me! Oh, I guess i’ll still have hubbyman… !! (*wink*)

Family Life According To Me

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Survival of the Fittest

by motherofwonder

Yesterday was about a million degrees. Ok, not a million, but 102. Seriously. 102. And I live in what’s normally the frozen tundra! Thankfully, we have family that lives fairly nearby with a nice, big pool! What a reprieve! (At least until our state bird came out… the mosquito.) As much as we were needing a reprieve from the heat, lately I’ve been feeling like I need a bit of a reprieve from life! It’s just been so hectic and crazy! And with the upheaval of their normal schedule, it has also left my children behaving a little less than their normal sweet, compliant selves. Although, of course, as I write this, they are sitting next to each other, all three in a row. Just playin’ trains, with an occasional “Hey Mom, do you see me playing with the ‘big kids’?” giggle and jump from the littlest E.

sidenote: Sometimes I believe children have this need to make a liar out of their parents. Anytime you vocalize how sweet, polite, quiet, shy, loud, whatever… they are, they’ll do the opposite- publicly. (I don’t really believe they do this purposely to make a liar out of me, it’s just a happy coincidence on their part, I’m sure. haha!)

With lots of layers of various chaos going on around us, someone asked how we’re holding it together. I had no answer. Before drifting off to sleep, I told hubbyman that I was going to miss him while he was gone on his trip, and he responded with, “I’ll miss you too. I already miss you.” Which I, of course, thought he was saying as a joke, because my husband is so excited about this trip you’d think he was 18 and about to experience his first taste of freedom without parental control. That excited. It turns out he meant it. We’ve basically just kind of existing together the last month or two. We were in survival mode. We are in survival mode.

Anytime you’re in “survival mode” for too long, without reprieve, disaster usually ensues. So this weekend we get vacations from our lives. Ok, so he really gets an adventure (which is exactly what he needs), and I get some relaxation (which is exactly what I need, along with some retail therapy!). Even the kids are getting vacations, of sorts. The Bigger E’s will spend the weekend at their Grandparents, along with an uncle or two. And Littlest E is going with on the girls’ weekend, so he will be getting one-on-one attention that he doesn’t get a whole lot of.

Which brings me to the REAL survival tool: FAMILY. Obviously, immediate family plays a huge role in our lives. We are so blessed by them: From the great-great Grandma, to the Great Grandparents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins… and everyone in between. We are thankful for all of them, and survive because of them. If you’re thinking, you don’t know my family, or you live far from them, or just want to be far from them… it’s not just about people you’re related to. We have a large group of people that we have CHOSEN to be family with. This doesn’t just apply to people with children, most of these were family to us before we even had children. it’s not about your relationship status, or how many (if any) children you have; it’s about love and support. It’s friends that have been there through a decade, or two. Friends that were our family when we were far from home. Friends that have seen us through, the ones we can depend on, the ones who puppy sit, the ones who insist on going out when they know it’s been a while since we’ve had any time away from the kids, friends who make plans and include us- as a family, 3 kids and all. These are friends that have become our family. Friendships that are so important to us, and beloved by us, as well as by our children.

For our family, it’s the combination of the two that really ensure our ability to survive. No, maybe that’s not entirely true. We would probably survive without them, but with them, and with all their support, love, and encouragement, we are able to thrive. As a family as well as individually.

It’s a good thing I have this support system, because otherwise, I might just lose it. I remembered putting the kid’s cups of milk in the fridge last night, so when I went to get them this morning….I’d gotten clean cups out of the cupboard and put them in the fridge. Without milk. And left the cups that had milk in them on the counter. I also spent a good 20 minutes looking for the puppy, because I’d forgotten I’d already let him out, and he was sleeping on the floor next to my bed. Ok, so it may have been more like 5-10 minutes, but I was in such a panic thinking I’d left him outside, that it felt like much longer! And those were just the first two things I did this morning. I’m sure I’ve had moments of “mommy brain” since… but I can’t remember. Wait…where are the kids?

Doesn’t it look like we all need a break?!

Family Life According To Me

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YOU Are Not My Judge

by motherofwonder

Last night I attended the memorial of my cousin, a man who for the last decade had spent most of his moments ministering to everyone he met. His favorite ministry was in jails, as he’d been a troubled teen who’d been there. Unfortunately, the last months of his life were in unwind. Things that had previously been of the highest importance, no longer were being prioritized. I don’t know what happened or why, but I am sad for an end that didn’t have to be. He was someone that was a little bigger than life, in personality. And in those ten years he changed people, you could see it in all the faces of those at his service, in their tears, as well as their stories shared. Growing up, I think that he was someone that people maybe tossed aside, deemed as too troubled, too wild, or just plain disposable. He was wild, uncontrollable, unreliable, a father at 16, and he bounced around homes… Fast forward to him being 20 and finding people that no longer felt he was disposable, who saw what and who he could be. And he thrived.

What it had me thinking about this morning is something that I’ve talked about before, it’s the way we judge others. How different would the very people we tend to judge be, if we were to stop judging them and just start supporting them. I am not saying you let everyone (or anyone!) take advantage of you, and I’m not even speaking financial support…just support. That the next time you saw someone or came across someone that to you seems out of control or doing or saying or living in a way that is maybe unhealthy… just be nice! And not just those that are visibly unhealthy! What if you gave the next stranger on the street that accidentally bumped into you and didn’t apologize, or say excuse me, a smile and meant it. The point is, we don’t know everyone’s story, where they’ve gone and where they’re going… and it’s not ours to judge.

After all, haven’t we all been judged before? Unfairly, unreasonably, and hurtfully? Don’t we all have one place or one time where we knew we were judged? (Please tell me it’s not just me!) I can recall vividly the way it felt when I was going through something a lot of people in my life didn’t understand. I had left a relationship and a college that I knew were not what I needed, even though everyone around me seemed to feel decidedly different. I even received a letter from a woman, who really didn’t know me or anything about me, telling me how because I wasn’t getting married, and I wasn’t in school that I wasn’t following God’s will, or His plan for my life. It was followed by lots of advice and direction from people in my life, telling me what I should do next, where I should go, how to get back onto my path… the funny thing was, I never thought I was lost. I always knew that this was the road I had to take, and it would lead me to where I was supposed to be.

It’s not the same as my cousin’s life and I am by no means saying it is, it was just my jumping off point and what I’d been thinking about that lead me here… Anyhow, as it turns out, I was right, the road I’d been on was not the one for me, and I knew I had to take a side-street to get me to my true destination, my true path…the one God meant for me. And that’s the one I’m on now. The one where I’m married to someone who respects me and treats me with respect, the one where we have three beautiful children, the one where I’ve found my place. I am on my road.

And maybe the person next to you that is doing something that you don’t agree with, or maybe it just annoys you, and you really want to reach out and smack them on the back of the head… maybe instead you reach out and give them a handshake, a hug, a cup of coffee, or simply a smile. Maybe your not judging them for things that are not within your control anyways, will be what it takes for them to pass it on to someone else. Some roads are unhealthy (like when my cousin was young) and some are just misunderstood (like mine) but judging and pointing fingers are not the answer. Can you imagine all the self-validation if we spent more time building each other up, the way we should be doing instead of tearing them down so we feel better, or look better, in comparison?

Rest In Peace

Family Life According To Me

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A Tornado Went Through My Life

by motherofwonder

My house is a disaster. Like a tornado may have went through it disaster. I have dishes to do, dishes to put away, laundry to put away, laundry to do, garbage to take out… toys to encourage little ones to put away. And as I take it all in, all I can think of is how I kind of feel the way my house looks. Disheveled. Like a tornado went through my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I have been having lots of fun the last couple of months. But it has been filled with emotional highs and lows. And all that mood swing-ing is starting to take it’s toll. We had my hubby’s brother and his family in town the beginning of May for three weeks and we enjoyed the visit so much. It was a great time of reconnect. It was also a little sad because it marked the end of their time in the US. My brother-in-law took a job in China for the next… well, for years. It is an amazing opportunity for his career and for their lives, and we are so proud of them all. That said, we are also lonely without them. Their son is Big E’s best friend, and he misses him terribly. And my sister-in-law, well, she’s like a sister to me (imagine that!).

The last weekend of their visit, my little brother got married. This isn’t a low, this is a wonderful thing. We love his wife and I have long considered her my friend. It was quickly followed by hubby’s brother’s China move (say that 3 times fast!)… so it was a very emotional weekend for me! And early the morning after the wedding I received a text message that one of my favorite people is beginning the divorce process. I was elated for my brother and his new bride, and devastated for my dear friend.

Since that weekend, my friend has stayed with us because as it turns out- my children are a great form of distraction! And they love her. Biggest E has already claimed her for his own, and promised to take her to the diamond store. How he knows about a diamond store, I have no idea, but he’s taking her there. We’ve had night after night of late nights. Some we stay up talking, oblivious to whatever movie we’d turned on. And others we’d put in a movie and just kind of be, together. I find I have a hard time balancing my feelings of sadness over the hurts of her heart with the fact that I’m loving having her here. We’ve had lots of tears, margaritas, and even more laughter. And I truly hope it’s doing us both some good!

This last week I boxed up, cleaned up, and gave away the last of our little baby things. I gave them to one of my oldest friends and I love that I am able to pass on things to her. I was a little melancholy during the process but wasn’t really boo-hoo about it… until yesterday as I loaded the bags with the clothes that both my boys had worn as newborns, the car seat that took all of my babies home from the hospital, and the swing that rocked my miracle to sleep when I thought nothing would work. There was no sob fest, but the tears were welling. This is not to say that I don’t love watching my children grow and appreciate each stage that they’re in, because I really do. I love every inch of their growing process. Ok, at least most of the inches. And while I’m aware that I’m viewing it through misty eyes, I can’t help but see their sweet newborn faces, feel the rib jabs while they were still in my tummy, their first smiles, first words… and the knowledge of how they grow so fast, is leaving me a little brokenhearted. There’s something in the knowledge that I will never again relive the marvel of holding your new baby for the first time, or the joy of all the firsts of their first year, that leaves me feeling bittersweet.

And this last week my cousin passed away. He was only two years older than I and although we were second cousins (his mom is my mother’s cousin, so whatever that makes us…that’s what we are), he used to spend his summers around here, and at various other points in his life, and to me, family is family. He was a bit of a wild child during his growing up, but eventually got himself together and found his place working with a church in his hometown. I am happy because I know he traveled a long road in his 30 short years, and sad for all those left behind, like his wife and daughter.

…plus littlest E has gotten 4 teeth in the last 2 weeks, therefore he and I have also not gotten very much sleep. Which probably adds to my emotional state. I feel like I may be on the verge of a breakdown. Last night a junebug (a big winged beetle) flew into the truck as we were getting in, and refused to fly out the window… instead it continued to flying into my legs repeatedly. I really screamed, and I may have cried. Apparently 45 minutes with that creature was my breaking point.

So I’m hoping that after attending the memorial tonight, tomorrow I will be swinging back to normal from the lows of the last week… after all on Thursday hubbyman flies to LA for some fun in the sun and a road trip with one of our favorite people ever! And while the boys are road tripping, my parents will be enjoying the company of the Bigger E children while Mommy goes on a girl’s weekend trip with a stowaway! (The stowaway being Littlest E who’s not quite big enough for an overnight without Mama) And it’s to one of my favorite destinations- which happens to be less than a 3 hr drive (score!)!! Which will be followed by a 2 week visit from said favorite person- that we haven’t seen since Miss E was only a couple days old! So there are lots of things to look forward to!! I’m hoping that the highs of the next couple weeks will be enough to stave off any thoughts of breaking down and becoming a pile of mush for a few days!!

Which brings me back to the war zone my home could be compared to… I’d better get to work on it if I really want to enjoy my time away (or any company)!!

Today’s Mantra: If He brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it.

*I’m going to be getting back into the swing of blogging again as well! So keep looking for more posts from my nice, new netbook hubbyman so thoughtfully bestowed on me, so that I could keep blogging while he is in the process of revamping and doing a major overhaul of our regular computer! (*que simultaneous “awwww”*) I have a camera full of pictures of meals (and sangrias!) along with recipes! I just have to get a few minutes and get them all loaded!!! So make sure you keep checking back for more!

Life According To Me

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I was awaiting the rapture

by motherofwonder

This is going to be brief… my life has been a little crazy this month. Between my little brother getting, my brother-in-law (and his family) coming to visit for a 3-week period and then moving to China (yes, China), and lots of other life changing things going on around us and those we love (truly, not just saying that, it’s a reality)… we have been busy. And my computer is still dead. And we’re still trying to decide, or debate, what the best route is…laptop, notebook, new desktop, replace old parts… *eye roll* so hopefully someday soon we will have something figured out and I can get back to my old blog-y self. I have lots of pictures, recipes, and stories that I’m anxiously awaiting to share with you! I don’t actually have much time at the moment, but I just thought I’d steal a moment when I could and say I’m still here… with all this end of the world days I figured maybe I could blame my absence on pre-rapture jitters?? No? Eh, it was a shot.

I don’t have time (at the moment) for much more but I just want to add this thought. Love each other, love your friends, love your family, love yourselves. And that statement has nothing to do with any end of times sentiments. One of the dearest friends of my heart (and life) is going through a trying time right now and she’s been staying with us so that my children can be a distraction for her (they are distracting, I’ll give them that!)… I’m blessed by her. By the wonderful, caring, loving woman she is- even in the hard times. And I am so enjoying and soaking up all the girlfriend and chit-chat time I possibly can!! But really, it’s all just been a sobering reminder that our days are all blessings, so use them wisely. Love each other as we should, as God called us to. All of us…which I guess leads me back to end of times sentiments… so whether it’s tonight or 500 years from now, love as though you have 30 seconds left and like those 30 seconds are what you will be known for. Maybe a little less panicky than you would be if you REALLY only had 30 seconds left, but you get the picture…

Hopefully this weekend we’ll get the computer situation taken care of and next week will begin blogging as usual, or un-usual depending on your viewpoint.

Life According To Me

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These Are The Days

by motherofwonder

So this is, what I believe, the “whirlwind month” of the year… at least until the winter-time holidays happen. 2 weeks ago was Easter, followed by a week of my brother-in-law staying with us, followed by a 2 day reprieve, followed by a week with my brother-in-law, his wife and son, all staying with us, followed by a mini vacation with the whole in-law family… followed by extreme exhaustion! But there’s no rest for the wicked- my side of the family is coming into town this week, for my brother’s wedding this weekend. Throw in a computer crash, an internet shut down, and kids with fevers and runny noses… let’s just say that today is the first real quiet day we’ve had in a long time and the kids are spending most of it in my lap or quietly playing nearby, and I’m totally ok with it.

While the busyness and the overnight guests have left me a little frayed, we have certainly had a good time. We have had late night dance parties, Uno games, and lots of Thomas the Train movie marathons. And yes, a few glasses of wine! My nephew (our only!) is the same age as Biggest E and they are best friends. It is so fun to watch them playing together. Not quite so fun to watch them turning it into a “boy’s club” that Miss E is not allowed in, because of her unfortunate gender. But 4-year-old boys will be 4-year-old boys. And I am happy to announce that today the biggest brother is happily playing with his sister, with no mention of her being “just a girl.” This last week, with my sister-in-law, I feel like I got a taste of what it would have been like to have grown up with a sister (I grew up with 3 brothers and no sisters)… we have had lots of long conversations, dish washing, dancing, and maybe some hair pulling and fighting. Mostly in fun. (*If you knew her you would totally be giggling along with me thinking of all the fun we’ve had. She’s tricky, that girl!)

We’ve had so many late nights, with early mornings that by last night, hubbyman and I were thoroughly exhausted. And the kids were too. Even the puppy was tired after his overnight/playdate while we were out-of-town. After doing a few odd jobs around the house, we all crashed on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and some Donkey Kong on the Wii (our kids actually enjoy watching us play- they like the monkeys). All-in-all, it was a WONDERFUL Mother’s Day. A hotel overnight (that had a huge playland for kids, lots of pools, and lots of fun), a Mother’s Day Brunch, a car ride home with the 2 youngest sleeping while the oldest serenaded us (for an hour), a yummy dinner (made entirely of reheated leftovers), an uninterrupted bath, and a banner filled with kids’ colorings and handprints that is better than any store-bought card! And as a Mother’s Day gift I’ll be adding littlest E’s birthstone to my mother’s necklace! I’m calling it a success! And my brother-in-law was kind enough to leave me his laptop so that I could attempt and actually do some blogging this week, and the internet is working again so hopefully the stars are lined up!

In honor of Mother’s Day, my children who made me a mother, my wonderful mother and mother-in-law… I am making a list of some of the best things about being a mom… or at least some of my favorite things.

You now have a legitimate excuse to nap!
A life-size doll you can dress any way you’d like… at least until they are old enough to take them off and redress themselves. This may be why my oldest has an affinity for ties and my daughter is already picky about her shoes.
You can make macaroni (or noodles with any form of cheese sauce) 5 days a week, without complaint.
The same goes for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Sprinkles are acceptable on any form of food/any meal of the day.
You can become a hero simply by adding a swirl of chocolate to milk.
You can watch Disney movies anytime you want.
The sillier you look/act- the better!
Laughter. lots of laughter.
Your receive your salary in kisses, hugs, and being told that you are the best person ever.

Motherhood is a tough job. Even Oprah believes it to be the toughest job in the world– and who am I to argue with her?! It often leaves me feeling tired, overwhelmed, and underappreciated. But for me, I know that no matter where life leads me down this crazy road, I am never going to be more fulfilled than when I look at my children; I will never have more pride than when I see them succeed; and never more happy than when I spend time immersed in the blessings that this little family of mine has created. I will never be able to express eloquently enough, my thankfulness to God for this unique, wonderful, crazy, exhausting, coffee-fueled life.

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Family Life According To Me

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The Nonjudgmental Mom

by motherofwonder

So as I said in one of my most recent posts, these weeks are crazy. My brother in law and his family are in town and my brother is getting married in a week and a half! So lots of fun, lots of family, and not a lot of sleep is happening in my neck of the woods. Plus on Saturday, my computer decided to fritz out on me. Which is not a good thing. So while I have, of course, had ~~life changing~~ information to send out to the universe…my computer has had other ideas.

With family in town, every night feels like Friday night. The food, the laughter, and the lack of sleep! My poor hubbyman; I keep forgetting that he still has to get up and go to work, despite the Friday-feeling going on in our household. Something happens when I get less sleep than normal. Other than the doubled coffee intake. I sleep less. Sounds obvious, but even when I do get to bed, I am so overtired that I lie here continuing to think. About the day, about family, blog posts, life… I’m sure I’m not alone in this.

With the extra nephew in the house, it’s fun to watch the kids’ interactions with each other; to see their similarities and their differences. Sometimes I think it’s so easy to get caught up in our own lives that we fail to see the big picture. Parenting is no exception. While we (most of us) strive to be the best parents we can be, and usually acknowledge that we (most of us) are trying our best… sometimes it’s easy to pick on others. And while I have posted about some of the situations when I have felt “picked on”- today I have another side to tell. Sometimes I do it too. (Shh!) Now I don’t do it as vocally as others may do it, it’s mainly an internal dialog I have going on, only occasionally shared with my husband at the end of the day. But tonight I lie here wondering, is that really any better?? Sure, on some levels it is, but really… if I’m equally as judgmental, if even in my mind, am I any better? The answer is as simple and as complicated as this= no, I am not any better.

My daughter is ever inch of her father. Both in looks, and in attitude. And I do not mean that as an insult. What I do mean by it is this: she is fiercely independent and responds only in logic that can truly be rationalized. And she’s only two. Saying something as generic as “because I said so,” will never fly with this one. And where Biggest E would respond to my emotions, it is lost on Miss E, as it is on her father. (Which has been totally eye-opening for her father to see how he was probably much as he is now, even as a child.) That being said, she can be seen as a handful. Because it is not often easy to rationalize with a 2 year old. If you can give her an answer or a reason that her mind can be wrapped around, she will comply, if not…. there is no changing her mind. And I truly mean, no matter what. I can see how some may look at some of my talks with her and wonder about my parenting, and my daughter…asking who’s really the boss. But it’s not so much about me being the boss of her as it is me learning to relate to how she learns…and facilitating that as much as possible. Don’t misunderstand this, this does not mean that she is the boss, undisciplined, or anything else along those lines. What it does mean is that I am relating to her (or try my best to!) in a way that she can understand and helping her learn in a way that will actually help her to learn lessons. What if someone overheard my daughter saying something like, “I don’t want you to say that, you said the wrong thing.” (Which is actually something I’ve heard her say…repeatedly.) And then was overheard responding with, “Sometimes I may say things that you don’t like, and that’s ok, you don’t have to like it. But you do have to listen to what I say.” Which is undoubtabley followed by, “I don’t want to listen when you say the wrong thing.” Do any of us like to listen when someone is telling us something we don’t want to hear?! No, we don’t. And at 2 you are probably never more aware of this fact.

I admit it, I have judged a mom based on what she did or didn’t say/do in response to a child’s words, but that’s not exactly fair. We don’t know the day they’ve had, or what the days previous have been like. We also know nothing about this child or this mother. For all we know the child is very sweet and kind but today missed a nap that they take at least 6 days a week, or they’ve been carted around all day and have been well behaved through six different stores and three different dressing rooms. And what about the mom? Maybe she’s had a rough day as well, or week, or marriage, or life… maybe she’s willing to let one thing slide today and you just happened to witness that one thing. No, this of course, isn’t always the case…but it could be. Why must we always one up the other moms we come in contact with? I don’t like it done to me, why would I continue doing so to others, even if only in my head? I don’t have the answers to this, but it does seem to me that women, in general, are constantly seeking validation in their lives, no matter what the situation/choice may be. So today, I’m giving you- women, men, young, old, married, single, parents, not parents, tired, wired… I’m giving you a free pass. Be you and I will not judge. I have been judged and know the sting that carries, and I will be actively attempting to abstain from furthering the cycle. I cannot promise that I will always be so conscious of my judgments, all I can promise you is today… and hope for tomorrow.

I don’t want to ramble too much, as sleep deprivation can leave me likely to do, I just want to end on this note… I also hope some of you will be trying not to judge me as well, because I’m running on little sleep, 3 small children who are just getting over colds, with a house full of company…and tomorrow I may need some grace, and multiple cups of coffee.

Life According To Me

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Sake it to me!

by motherofwonder

So today I actually got my house ~~totally cleaned!~~ ~~organized~~ ok, ok, so it’s picked up, at least to the naked eye, or more accurately, or at least hopefully, to the visiting eye! Things are where they’re supposed to be, beds are made, and toys were put away… and although I didn’t have time to mop the kitchen floor, I did get vacuuming done (upstairs). That counts for something, right?

Although with all the commotion I’m hearing going on downstairs, I’m guessing that it’s being undone ~~as we speak~~ as I type. Ugh. If only it were sunny. I love cleaning on sunny days. Don’t ask me why, but give me a sunny Saturday, a glass of wine (as long as it’s after noon, of course), some music, and someone to keep the kids away…and I am a happy camper! Weird, right? But days like today, where it’s just blah, grey, and cold… I just want to curl up on the couch and watch a movie. I would really do just that too, if today weren’t Thursday (*my TV night* where my husband is usually sweet enough to keep the kids away while I relax and pretend that my only concern is if Callie and her baby really do make it after all, and will Lexi and Sloan ever make it work?) After all, I was so productive yesterday! But I’ll (hopefully!) stick to my guns, and get some laundry done. So that while I’m relaxing tonight I can feel like it’s not a total waste of time, since I’ll also be folding clothes! Need a good excuse or a way to make yourself feel better about taking time for yourself? Let me know, I’ll totally help you out! My favorite is eating salsa while watching “my shows.” Since Miss E can’t have anything with tomatoes, I’m really doing her a favor by making sure there isn’t any in the house…right? I ♥ my reasoning. (ha! It doesn’t usually actually work, the warding off the mommy-guilt, but I do what I can.)

Well, since I was so productive yesterday, and we had more visitors coming for dinner… we (and by we I mean mainly hubby-man) fed the kids (ours and our nephew) the chicken from the day before! (Yay for leftovers! Plus yay for tricky mamas! My nephew has the sweetest brown eyes, but can be a bit of a picky eater. I made dinner into a race -see who could eat the most, not the fastest- and even did a refill on the chicken when he wasn’t looking! That’s right Auntie got him to eat 2nds even! Yay for me!) Anyhow, then we (same we as before…) made the “adult food” (which basically just means there’s tomatoes in it, or in this case- they needed to be fed immediately),

Back when hubby-man was also a military-man he did a deployment to Japan, where he fell in love with Korean bbq. When he came home he insisted on learning how to replicate it. And it was time well spent! This is another one of those meals that can look -and taste- like you spent a lot of time and money on it, but neither is true. And ooooh is it yummy! Hubby-man loves this recipe for crowd-feeding! I think he secretly loves that he makes it and therefore everyone oohs and aahhs over his culinary abilities.(I love that I’m not doing the cooking!) Plus, then we get to use all the fun things purchased in Japan! And I’m down for any reason to get out (and use) the Sake set! Something about the miniture scale of it all just makes me feel like a little girl at a tea party! I love it!

Just talking about it has made me realize that it’s lunch time, I’m hungry, and there’s a dish of it set aside specifically for my lunch! I highly suggest you try it! Sooo good!

Meat and Veggies:

4 lb Round Steak (we used black angus)

3 bell peppers (we used 2 red and 1 orange)

2 med. yellow onions

Slice the beef, peppers, and onions in thin strips.

We realized upon cutting it up that it was a ton of food! And our guests ended up dropping off our nephew while they ran some errands. Which worked out perfectly because YAY LEFTOVERS!! So what we did was cook half and froze (the already sliced everything) the other half. So next time we’re thinking that it sounds good, or get unexpected company, no trips to the store will be necessary, we’ll just whip it out of the freezer and voila! You should also know that I LOOOVE peppers and so there’s nothing sparing about the amount of vegetables put in here. You could also add lots of other things, peas, mushrooms, broccoli… (those are things I’d like to try adding in). Plus, if you wanted to make it without meat, it would still be delicious! This is a good recipe to cook with more than one person, or do the slicing in advance. So that either one person slices while the other makes the sauce, or you’ve got it all prepared in advance and can make the sauce and you’re good to go. Either way.

Yakiniku Sauce

1 sm. onion

1 clove garlic

3 tbsp white wine

1 tbsp sea salt

2 tsp honey

1 tbsp sesame oil

1 tbsp lemon juice

1 tbsp roast sesame seed (lightly ground)

3 spring onion very finely chopped

I throw the onion, garlic, and spring onions in the food processor, but you can simply just finely chop them. Place in a saucepan with wine (or white wine vinegar) and cook for about 3 minutes while stirring fairly frequently. Add in the sea salt, honey, sesame oil, and lemon juice and cook for another minute. Let it cool and then add the sesame seeds.

Then throw this delicious concoction on top of the meat and veggies (we cook ours on our big griddle because it’s the perfect size, but you can always do it on the stovetop.) Making sure to stir so that everything is evenly coated. Serve over rice (or quinoa)! Oh, and the sauce can be saved too. I like the extra for pouring over rice- yum! (plus tomato-less and gluten free!)

Beef Family Gluten Free Life According To Me Recipes

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The Muddy Mommy

by motherofwonder

I have learned something in my life as a woman, and it was reinforced with my last 4 years of also being a mother: Women are tough. We’re tough on ourselves mainly, but unfortunately it breeds this unflattering fact: we are tough on other women. It starts very young as I have overheard my 2 year old daughter tell one of her playmates about how a certain doll could only be held by other girls who also had “pink” hair. (The doll, as well as my MissE, has a very pretty auburn/strawberry blonde hair color, that Miss E has labeled as “pink.”) And the look on her face as she tells this other two year old to back off, makes it all perfectly clear: You are not good enough. Yikes. Unfortunately, it’s not just 2 year olds, while they’re antics may make you question that statement. These days the playgrounds seem to be filled with moms who’ve become professional mud slingers. (Remember the Mommy Brigades?) Seriously, if you’re tired of life in the trenches of the minor league, and want to join the ranks of the pros- spend some time at any given playground and you’ll be able to learn all you need to know. Or the baking aisle of your local grocery store- you’ll likely find several ol’ Grannies willing to send a few your way. And they’ve been in retirement so they’ve just been aching to get out there and show you what they’ve got.

The best of the mud slingers know how to sugar coat it, so that it’s sticky, gooey, and very hard to wash off. My top ten “favorite” mudballs? I got ’em here:

(Within a week of a miscarriage, while my “big Es” were about 2 1/2 and just under 1 yr) You still have 2 sweet babies, what business did you have trying for another?“ ….yep, that still stings.
Good thing he looks just like his Daddy! This little gem was due to the fact that my then active duty military man had been deployed and biggest E was born almost exactly 9 months after his return. This never fails to infuriate me.
Good thing you look so young, it helps even out that exhausted, I-have-too-many-kids look. Yes, someone actually said this to me.
You look so young, are you even married? Yes, we were married for over 2 years before our first… but that is none of your business!
My aren’t you the overachiever? I know 3 kids in less than 4 years is not the norm, and yes, some days it’s difficult, but I wouldn’t have them any other way. And again, this is also none of your business!
Oh, don’t you feel so sad that you won’t be having any more children? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Thank you for rubbing it in.
You’re so lucky you have enough/make enough that you can stay home. I am blessed to stay at home, but it has nothing to do with luck. We made that decision and have made specific choices to keep it that way. The best part was that this was said by someone who’s income is roughly the same.
What do you think you’ll want to do when you’re able to have a real job? This is offensive on so many levels. And leaves me digging my teeth into my tongue so that words are impossible.
Didn’t you ever want to have a real job? See above statement. x12.
Well, I hope that works for you. I would never parent that way. Let’s meet up again in 20 years and compare notes on how our parenting styles worked out.

I am not one for confrontation of any sort, and I believe in supporting other women, and other moms, no matter what… but these leave me wanting to attend mud-slinging try out, hoping for making it to the big leagues. And those are just the ones that are on the tip of my tongue, off the top of my head, and maybe seared into my heart. I try not to hold onto it, but sometimes that mud is just so sticky that it leaves me one muddy mama.

But as I listen to Miss E tell Biggest E, “My honey bunny, thanks for having a playdate with me, your little girl sister.” And when I ask where they’re off to now as they head down the stairs, Biggest E shrugs his shoulder and says, “Just having a playdate with my best friend, you know, the girl that is my sister,” I know that for our family, this is exactly where I need to be, and my children are better off for it. Which helps the mud start sliding off, except for a little clinging to my shoes. So I take a deep breath, and wash what’s left off… after all, these shoes are way too cute to have mud on them anyways.

Family Life According To Me Love Dare Marriage

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Impressively simple

by motherofwonder

So this is quickly becoming a favorite, at least for me… or I see it becoming a favorite is probably a better term because I have only actually made this twice, but it is so yummy!

It’s pretty much the same chicken recipe that I used here With a few new twists. I found that this chicken is both delicious and easy. And since we also have guests this week it’s a good meal to make if you want to impress with your culinary skills and stick to a time limit and a budget! I think this would also be good served over rice (or quinoa), but I wasn’t sure when I made it, so I skipped that part. Next time, I think I’ll add rice. This time I used a ton of chicken (I figured it would be a crazy week so I cooked up between 6-8 (I can’t remember which now!) chicken breasts that I’d cut into strips. After cooking through I took out about 1/3 of the chicken to save for future meals. If I were only cooking the amount for this dish I would have cooked the “mix ins” along with it. The “mix ins” were one yellow onion, about 2+ cups of fresh spinach, about 2/3 cup of fresh chopped mango, about 1 cup of Trader Joe’s tomato-less salsa (a corn and chili salsa- so, so yummy!) with a few drizzles of olive oil. I did this in a pan along side the chicken.

Once I removed the chicken to save for the rest of the week, I added in the “mix ins,” cooking over a low heat while stirring frequently, for about 3 minutes. I also realized at this point that I’d forgotten to cook the chicken in lime, so I squeezed some extra lime juice in the mix. Voila! 20 minutes and dinner was done! And delicious!