funny | laborofwonder

Oh For The Love!

by motherofwonder

What is something that mom always says to you? MissE: you say I love you all the times. BigE: Pick up.
What makes mom happy? MissE: not naughty. BigE: When it’s picked up.
What makes mom sad? MissE: yelling. BigE: When I don’t pick up.
How does mom make you laugh? MissE: tickle me. BigE: tickles, you make me laugh by tickling.
What was mom like when she was a child? MissE: you liked to play. like grandma before she turned into a grandma. BigE: you liked toys.
How old is mommy? she holds up 3 fingers then asks, Are you the age just like I am? BigE: holds up five fingers and asks, this old?
How tall is mommy? MissE: reaches down and touches my toes and then tries to reach my head and says, That’s how tall you are. BigE: Puts hand on top of my head.
What is mommy’s favorite thing to do? MissE: Clean up (I think she’s confusing how I want to spend my time with how I actually spend my time!) BigE: grocery shopping.
What does mommy do when you’re not around? MissE: I don’t know, if I’m not there I can’t see you. BigE: I don’t know. what do you do when I’m not there?
What would mommy be famous for? MissE: for ducks (I have no idea what this means or where she’s going with it… I do know that she thinks this is way too many questions.) BigE: picking up.
What’s mommy good at? MissE: tickling. BigE: cooking.
What is mommy not very good at? MissE: flowers. BigE: Driving airplanes.
What is mommy’s job? MissE: play with me. BigE: picking up
How are you and mommy the same? MissE: being girls. BigE: I don’t know.
How are you and mommy different? MissE: being girls (I’m thinking she doesn’t quite understand “different”). BigE: I’m tootie.
What do you and mom like to do together? MissE: Play in the water or go to the store. BigE: grocery shop.
What is mommy’s favorite food? MissE: chicken. BigE: coffee.
If mom were a cartoon character who would she be? MissE: you. BigE: a dancer.
How do you know mom loves you? MissE: from me. BigE: the kissin’
Where is mommy’s favorite place to go? MissE: the farmer’s market, the store, and your friends’ house. BigE: the grocery shop.
What makes you proud of your mom? MissE: when you give me cereal, that is when I am proud of you. BigE: Mooom, I never get proud. (he seems to think “getting proud” is a bad thing.)

I’d asked Big E these questions when he was just under 2 and just thought it would be fun to go through and ask them again and see their responses. Overall I think they thought it was a)silly and b)too many questions. But it was fun to watch them as they thought over some of the questions, you know, the ones they actually put thought into.

Family Life According To Me

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Secrets to (a long, happy) Marriage

by motherofwonder

I’m not sure where this originated. I got it in one of those, been-forwarded-to-a-million-people because if you don’t you’ll get bad luck for life, or will never meet your soul mate, and will never make a million dollars. I kept it in my inbox because it was so funny. So today when I saw this was also floating around facebook…I figured it was an omen. So to avoid any bad fortune, I’m sharing this with you. Kidding. I just love it. And can totally see hubbyman and I having this conversation. In jest of course. Enjoy!

Life According To Me Marriage

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Messy MissE

by motherofwonder

Whooo…whooo….Is that what owls say, Mom?

Ribbit…ribbit…Is that what frogs say, Mom?

Hump…hump (with back arched like it has a hump)…Is that what camels say, Mom? The word hump was coupled with her doing a little jump each time. You may to have witnessed this to understand it’s funniness.

She not only likes to announce to me, and however’s within earshot, whenever she has to go potty… and exactly what she’ll be doing in the bathroom. We’ve had many conversations lately about how it’s ok for her to tell me, quietly, once we’re already in the bathroom, but when we’re in public, she should just say, I need to go potty, and leave it at that. Well, while out for lunch with Grandma S, she informed me she had to go potty. I took her by the hand and led her down the aisle filled with other Grandma’s all oohing and ahhing over her curls and sweet smile and Miss E waved at each of their smiling faces. She then (very loudly) turned to me and said, “Don’t worry Mom, I won’t tell those grandma’s that I have to go poop. I’ll just whisper it to you when we get in the bathroom.” (*insert a handful of grandmas chuckling*)

Today the big two were bickering back and forth, and several “No more bathroom talk!” conversations were necessary as Big E has entered that “boy stage” where everything is bathroom talk. Unfortunately, his sister wants to do and say everything he does, and I was reaching my limit! I told them they’d start having time out in the bathroom if they kept calling each other names using potty talk. A moment later Miss E asked if I would open the bathroom door for her. She paused and looked out at her brother who then yelled something especially special (about something very lovely being squished into her eye). I told him to sit down. (Meaning to deal with him when done with Miss E) I then turned to her and asked if she needed any other help. She said no thanks, and gently pushed me out the door. She then hung her body out the door and began to divulge her retort back to her brother. Exasperated I continued my tyrade about my feelings towards all the “bathroom talk” going on. Miss E continues to push my buttons as she’s just sitting there giving me a look that says, Clearly, mom has lost her marbles… when she comes back with, But Mooooom, I am in the bathroom. I look at her, and ask (with eyebrows raised) What?! And she gives the answer I was afraid of: That’s why I went into the bathroom!

This girl is too smart for my own good!

Family Life According To Me

The Coffee Avenger

by motherofwonder

I’ve had a few nights (or weeks) of being up until around 2. Last night was no exception. I just felt awake and so I stayed up and did the dishes and cleaned the counters (that I usually do in the morning). Yesterday was a beeeautiful day out and so instead of checking things off my to-do list, we spent the entire day outside. It was wonderful! The kids had a blast! From playing in the sand at our house, to eating their yogurt while strolling through the neighborhood (literally they were in the stroller), to the remainder of the afternoon being spent at the playground. The Big Kids discovering they can climb ladders and other climbing devices that they weren’t able (or willing) to do last year. (I’m pretty sure they were installed just to freak parents out at the thought of their child climbing up one unassisted. And this is a playground meant specifically for 2-4 year olds.) Anyways, they had good time and I didn’t have a heart attack or to care for any playground fall victims, so I’ll call it a good time for all of us.

This morning I’m feeling a little cantankerous (don’t you just love that word?), and so I’m hoping to cheer myself up (and maybe you too!) with a few little haha moments we’ve had here lately.

This morning I overheard Miss E yelling at the puppy: Puppy Dog, you need to remember to watch where my hands are going and not get in their way!

Yesterday Big E made me help him climb up a ladder because he was “so scared of falling off”- right after he whipped himself up of those bone-breaker-if-you-fall ladders that he then proceeded to jump off of (from the top…to the ground!). I asked him why it wasn’t scary to jump down from so high and his response (with an exaggerated sigh): Ugh, Mom, I’m actually ‘tending [pretending] to be a leaping lemur. So I had to leap. Didn’t you know that?! Obviously, I did not.

A week or two ago Miss E said: Daddy said I’m going to die and live with Jesus. I don’t want to die! Miss E and Big E in unison: I want to stay living on Earth!

Today at the farmer’s market the “Big Kids” were walking (so that all the tomatoes I got for salsa-ing and spaghetti sauce-ing could have a cozy ride in the back seat of the stroller) and they burst into song, each their own made up song, but in like a conversation format almost. At least 6 people stood by to watch and listen and “Ooh they’re so sweet!” over these silly children. Moments later, one of our favorite vendors (who’d witnessed their performance) let them each have a mini pumpkin. They were thrilled. I asked them to make sure they thanked him. They both looked at him, and informed him that they were too shy to say thank you. He is a sweet, older gentleman who laughed heartily while I rolled my eyes. (Eye rolling was followed by a talk about how we show kindness to others, and blah, blah, blah…*insert typical parental speech here*)

On the way home from the farmer’s market, since there was no room for them in the stroller, they each grabbed on to a pocket on either side. I warned them not to actually pull on my athletic pants that I did not tie. (Note to self: any item of clothing that has a way to tie, button, zip so that it cannot be pulled off of you- do so.) Thankfully, they did not publicly pants their mama. They did however spend the whole walk home talking about how they would think it was funny and laugh if that did happen. And how I would not think it was funny and would be mad. But they would still think it was funny.

So last night, I cleaned out the coffee pot (aka my best friend), filled it and set it up to start brewing this morning. Got up so excited that it would be ready and waiting for me! Only to find it off! I don’t know how it got turned off (I checked 3 times before I went to bed, knowing full well the importance of its role the morning after a night of 4 hours of sleep). So I don’t know who or how… but I will find out. And I will not rest until my coffee has been avenged! That is, if I don’t fall asleep from exhaustion and lack of coffee.

Reason #685 why I LOVE our local farmer's market- the beautiful, fresh, long-lasting flowers!

Life According To Me

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Just Call Me The April Fool

by motherofwonder

I have so many things I want to combine in this post, because there’s so much going on right now! I realize I haven’t said anything about “the Love Dare” the last weekish. And it’s not because I’m not doing it- I really am! As I knew would eventually happen (and perhaps why I stalled so much in the beginning- to prevent the inevitable.), I feel peace. And happy. ~~I am now this perfectly kind, wise, patient woman that I always knew I could be.~~ Ok, scratch that. But in truth, I am finding myself having more patience, which in turn is allowing me to respond to situations with more kindness than I’m afraid I’ve been showing as of late. And it’s having benefits. As I’m more patient with them (and in turn, showing more kindness), they are returning the favor. Hubbyman and I realized last night that there have been WAY less time outs at our house lately. (and I mean WAY less) And Hubby even has shown me an abnormal amount of kindness lately. The last couple of weeks he’d been looking at me and smirking. I was starting to worry. Finally last weekend it came out that he had been SEARCHING (he even went *gasp* shopping- on-line yes, but he also went to actual stores, like Williams*Sonoma! My husband!) for a pasta extruder/attachment so I can make macaroni and rotini (and therefore don’t have to buy any noodles!). This is a HUGE deal. I even got a back rub a couple nights ago, without asking for one, and without having to return the favor. Maybe it had something to do with the fact I had to miss out on my girls’ night with one of my favorite Happy Hour mistresses. (Seriously, she’s terrific! She knows that I get out infrequent enough that she is always reminding me that I’m important too, not to check my phone -much- and we stay out until I have to go back!) But even that is something to be thankful for. He had is in the middle of a big project at work and had to work, but he still recognized that I was missing out. Suffice it to say, things are looking up in our household.

…or maybe it was all a big trick!! This morning I got up and it was freezing! I’d been cold all night too- even with Big E snuggled into our bed (I don’t even know when that happened?!), and that boy’s a heater. So turns out the heat never got turned up before bed (I turn it way down during the day depending on if we’re spending our day upstairs or downstairs… no point in heating an area we’re not in!). So I was cold and a little cranky. And then I go upstairs. I have Littlest E on my hip, because he’s been up for quite some time playing and is starting to get a little cranky. I get my favorite coffee cup -because of it’s size- and turn on the water (yes, I admit it, I was going to make instant coffee. Please don’t judge. I know it’s bad. I’m just that desperate for coffee immediately.)… and then it happens. I get sprayed with water. And it takes me a moment to realize what’s going on (hello?! no coffee yet!?!), and to realize that the baby on my hip is being sprayed directly in his face. Great. So I turn the water off and look at the hose, figuring something had to have gone wrong. And then it hits me. It’s APRIL FIRST. Crap. And there’s the string tied around the hose. So I do a little growling and muttering as I cut the string off. I wipe Ethan down, change shirts. ….it might also be helpful to know this about me: I HATE when my clothes get wet. Like hate, hate. So much that a small spill even, will send me back into the house to change, no matter where I was heading, or how late I already am. Hate. It’s weird, don’t question it- it’s just how it is. Then Miss E (the 2 1/2 year old, nicknamed the dEva) starts asking for some water and she’s whining… so I pick her up and we go get her water. Turns out, the hose had been tied down so long, it wanted to stay in that position. You should also know something about Miss E: She’s dramatic, and she hates getting her clothes wet at least as much as I do. And still no coffee yet.

Breathe in….breathe out. Make enough coffee to feed an army. Drink and watch Ellen. Breathe. Try not to mutter about killing my husband in front of the children… aaahhh, coffee kicks in. As I posted in my facebook status: [Husband]- apparently you’ve forgotten who cooks your meals, washes your clothes, and raises your children… because you’d think you would know better than to pull a prank on her. But don’t worry, I’ll make dinner extra special as a reminder!

Now to plan dinner…. BAHAHAHA! (that’s my online version of evil laughter)

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Chicken Gluten Free Life According To Me Love Dare Marriage Recipes

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