laborofwonder

Where Whine Meets Wine

It Gets Me Through


I had a very strange dream last night. It started off as me driving, in the rain, with all three of my children in the back in their car seats. One started fussing or crying or something and I adjusted my mirror to look at them. All the sudden I see the SUV behind me is actually police, with their lights on. So I pull over and roll down the window. He immediately looks in the back at all three children and then turns to me and suddenly I’m in another dream! I’m no longer the driver- hubbyman is, and I’m the passenger. About 6ish months pregnant. And I don’t really remember what the policeman said to the hubs, but I do remember talking to him about how I no longer fit in any of my clothes and we’d just found out the sex of the baby and so we were on our way to go shopping! And then I woke up. The funny thing is, the 2nd dream was actually more of a reenactment because that scene really happened. Thankfully he was a sweet man, who recognized that there was no posted speed limit and warned my hubby to drive slower with his extra special cargo. I hadn’t thought of that day in.. I don’t know when I’ve thought back on it, actually. As my mind continued to wander through that day, I remembered the sweetness of being pregnant with our very first baby, the excitement over just finding out he was in fact a boy (I knew it!), and the lasting impression of seeing my husband changing into a father as he wandered around a baby store thoughtfully picking out clothes for our baby (he was particularly fond of things with duckies on them).

I have had the honor of seeing my husband go through  many things and make many changes in his life, as I’ve known him for half of it. I have seen him go from adolescent to man, from friend to spouse, from wild child to military man, from military man to civilian (in a job he actually loves!), but my favorite conversion was watching him grow into a father. (I may pay for sharing this!) My favorite picture -that always moves me to tears- is one from just seconds after Big E was born, baby on my chest, hubby at my side, wiping a tear from his cheek. So sweet, so tender… not usually the first words one would use to describe my husband, which is perhaps what makes this moment so invaluable. He went from a man who had his own list of wants and needs to a man who was on diaper duty so much that I didn’t change a diaper for almost 2 full weeks after Big E arrived! A man who used to enjoy happy hour with co-workers was now rushing home from work, insisting that he immediately get his boy.  A man who was so full of pride over being a father that he would talk to strangers about how beautiful his baby was- the most beautiful baby there ever was. He’d rave over how perfect he was (the baby, that is)! The first few times of Big E being babysat, he’d even race me to the baby!

Or in watching him react to the news that he was having a girl! And watching her wrap him around her finger! He tells me at least weekly, we’re in so much trouble- she just keeps getting cuter and cuter! (And he’s right, but don’t tell her that! We try and focus on how important it is for her to be a nice girl!) Or watching him with Littlest E just hours after his birth, trying to be strong for me, but being so scared as I was losing so much blood. (The thought of being a single parent to 3 kids is pretty frightening!) We have had lots of sweet and tender moments in our years together, but none so sweet as the ones that surround our children.

There are days he has not evolved into the best parent, as there are days I have not either… but we both try mightily and love deeply. And that’s what gets us through, along with the occasional remembrance (or dream) of tender, quiet moments where we were blessed beyond our wildest dreams and the reasons that we chose this wonderful, wonderfilled, crazy life.

Big E

Miss E

Littlest E

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Wordless Wednesday


 

October 2011 Pumpkin Patch

October 2009

 

Crazy the things that change in 2 years….  and the things that stay the same  ♥

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The Earth Is Round


So this weekend hubbyman and I had a bit of a heart-to-heart. I’d been feeling one way, he’d been feeling another, and neither of us had been very communicative. It came on suddenly and really was a fairly short conversation. Was it our first discussion of this kind? Hardly. Will it be our last? I’d be shocked.  We each just needed to feel heard. It reminds me of the way the kids ask a million questions, all in a row. Some things they really do want answers for, but others, I’m fairly certain, are asked just because they want to know that it’s ok, or safe, to ask any questions they may have. And sometimes I feel that way too. I talk and talk, but really I just want to know, and feel, that my words are worth listening to. Am I alone in this?

My mom sent me an e-mail (that my grandma had sent to her) the other day and after our talk, I shared it with my husband, and we both had a good laugh:

While creating women, God promised men that submissive and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.

And then He made the earth round.

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Happy Fall-o-ween!


So I talked on Friday of needing a reprieve from time spent on the internet, and so I took it. Was it a relief? No, not really… but it was needed and there was a sigh of relief in seeing my home looking livable again! I would say we had a pretty good weekend in all. The first weekend we had zero plans in a long time! We’d all just gotten over allergies or something… and so the things we were invited to I cancelled or politely declined. Not because we didn’t want to go/do, but just decided that what was best for our family was to take a break! So Friday we watched a movie as a family and then after hubbyman fell asleep putting the kids to sleep, I took advantage of the quiet and enjoyed a glass of wine paired nicely with a long hot bath. And did I mention the quiet?

Saturday we got up and went to a pumpkin patch! Woohoo! One of my favorite things to do! Normally, I have taken the kids (by myself) during the week, but this year hubbyman was willing and able to go! Yay for family days! We don’t get enough of them! So off we went a punkin’ing…

 

We picked 4 really  nice big ones (hubbyman has some really cool ideas for the pumpkins), one pie pumpkin (mmm…pumpkin cheesecake!), and lots of little pumpkins and gourds! I love fall and fall decorating/decorations!

What is your favorite way to decorate/carve/paint pumpkins? Or your favorite fall-themed decorations?

I can’t wait until our pumpkin-carving night! It’s sure  to be a mess, but hopefully a fun, memory-making kind of a time! Plus, wait until you see Miss E’s costume! She’s a carebear! I will definitely do a post on Big E and Miss E’s homemade costumes! They are super cute, only took an evening (each) to make, and last a really long time (in fact, Big E’s is from last year, I just bought him pants in a size bigger this year!). Plus, they wear them year-round! It’s a win for everyone! And I have pictures ready and waiting for my newest onion ring and breaded chicken strips recipe! Mmmm…. they were soooo good! (Hubbyman declared the onion rings to be the best he’d ever had!!!) So there’s lots of things (ie. posts) to look forward to this week! Happy Fall!! (I know, it’s been “fall” for a while, but finally I am happy it’s fall!)

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Tech-NO-Friday


When I get overwhelmed or am facing feelings of depressing, I kind of shut down. I don’t follow my routine and I have a hard time convincing myself that it is worthwhile to do the things I normally do. I have been in one of those funks the last few months. The house is in constant remodel, my mother is suffering from some scary health issues (aren’t any health issues of someone you want to be around forever scary?), and we have 3, young, crazy children. It takes me forever to get things done, because I just don’t feel like doing them, And when I pull my late nights to get things done, it’s only out of necessity vs. an actual desire to get things done. Which I’m pretty sure has lead to the spiral effect on my computer time.

It’s come to my attention that I’m having a hard time finding a good balance between time I spend on the computer and time I spend off. So much of the time it’s just on and you look up and see, ooh a new notification, a new e-mail, another blog-able thought… so I want to spend more time with it off. It’s hard to find a balance between everything in your life, right? I know I can’t possibly be the only one. So, I’m self-imposing a No Tech day (or Tech-NO-Friday), at least during the day time. (Don’t worry it’s a half hour before midnight and therefore this is not being written on Friday- God bless timed postings!) Usually I turn the computer off when Erik comes home (I have it on with music a lot of the time and am guilty of thinking, well, it can’t hurt to just leave facebook up while I’m busy and listening to music…) and don’t go back on until kids are in bed, if at all. And I don’t spend much time, if any, on it over the weekend. It’s the daytime during the week.  And really, I want the focus of my day to be on my children and our life. Soo… one day to hopefully really get some things done around here, and hopefully the days that will follow will be more balanced. More time off, and the time on being focused on why I’m being on-line (like to write a hilarious blog post, or post a yummy new recipe) and less time of just being on-line for the sake of being on-line with no focus or intent. My kids deserve 100% of my focus, and let’s face it, they’re probably not getting it if one eye is on the computer.

Anyone else have any good ideas for how they delegate their time? Anyone who has to spend time on the computer for their job, for their blog, for necessity- how do you make sure you make the most of the time you’re on the computer, so that you can make the most of your time off? What things have helped you to relegate some anti-device time?

And, since it is Thankful Friday, and I am thankful it’s Friday, here are the things I’m thankful for today:

  • Big E (and how helpful he is!)
  • Miss E (and the way her imagination is growing and developing!)
  • Little E (and the humor he brings to this household! He’s only 15 months old, but he WANTS and TRIES to make you laugh!)
  • That guy I married
  • my wonderful friends (both old and new)
  • that I have a place to put some of my thoughts (and people who listen to them- or read them!!)
  • that I’m going to be an Auntie (for the 2nd time, but the first time on my side) in about 6ish months!
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Macaroni Twist (Simply Impressive)


Ok, so I don’t have pictures to include with this post (yet!), but I will this evening! I have gotten out of the habit of my Impressively Simple Thursdays, and I am wanting to get back into the habit! So today I am just starting doing it! (It can’t be a habit if I don’t ever start, can it??) Because I’m hoping to get a ton done today (I’ve been hiding from the mountain of laundry screaming my name.), I want a meal that’s simple, and doesn’t require a lot of time or effort… which is why this wonderful, yummy casserolesque dish gets the pick! I got an email (click here to see original recipe) that I got the base from, and of course, adapated to make it my own.  It’s incredibly yummy and incredibly heavy (so not something I’d make on a weekly basis, but a wonderful comfort food!). Perfect twist on plain old macaroni if you ask me! And hubbyman loves any recipe that includes bacon!

Some things to know before hand: They used penne pasta, but my children loooove “phone noodles” (otherwise known as elbow) and so that’s what we’ll be using, but I of course recommend using whatever your favorite kind of noodle is (or even better, let your kids pick out what their favorite kind is- they’re waaay more likely to eat and enjoy it!). Also they said a serving size of 12 and since I’m only feeding 5…. 12 seems unnecessary. So this is for a family of five and you can reduce it still if necessary, or copy their ratio (or just double what I have listed here) and freeze the leftovers (or make it in two dishes- one for tonight and one for another night!). Anyways, here’s what I did:

Ingredients:

pasta (about 5 handfuls or whatever equals 5-6 servings)

bacon (I used 3 pieces of bacon)

1/2 cup crushed protons (gluten free croutons- you can use panko or whatever breadcrumbs you normally use, or even a little almond meal instead. whatever you have on hand!)

1/8 cup butter, melted

1 tsp parsley (fresh; use less if dried)

1 1/2 tbs olive oil

3 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1/2 small onion, finally chopped

1 tbs flour (I used coconut flour with an extra pinch or two of almond flour, but you can use all-purpose or whatever your favorite flour/thickener is)

1 cup heavy cream (the recepiet called for 4 CUPS of heavy cream… yikes! I happened to have a small amount left, so I used it up because otherwise it would go to waste, but I’d really just use milk otherwise. That’s alotta cream! And between the bacon and the cheese, heavy cream just seems above and beyond!)

1 cup milk

1/2 tsp thyme (fresh, less if using dried)

1/2 cup cheese (calls for monterray jack but I had pepperjack and mozzarella… so I did half and half)

1 cup cheddar cheese

1/4 tsp salt

1/8 tsp pepper

Preheat oven to 350.

Now, go ahead and cook your noodles (boil slightly salted water, add noodles, bring to a boil again. Now you don’t want these all the way mushy, you want them still slightly firm to the bite. So if you think they’re not quite done enough to eat, they’re done.) and drain well.

Cook bacon until evenly browned, reserving (saving) the drippings in a small bowl. Drain bacon on towel-lined plate, and then crumble bacon into a bowl, mix in the breadcrumbs (or in my case the crushed GF protons/croutons), butter, and parsley.

Heat olive oil in skillet over medium, adding in onions and garlic. Cook and stir until they’ve softened; 3-5 minutes. Stir in bacon drippings and flour. Cook and stir for one minute and then whisk in the cream/milk and thyme. Continue cooking and stirring until reduced by about 1/3. Then add the cheeses, stirring until melted. (I find it clumps less if you add it in slowly rather than all at once.) Season with salt and pepper. Stir in the pasta. Transfer mixture into an oven-safe dish. Sprinkle with the breadcrumb/bacon mixture and bake until crumbs have browned and sauce is bubbly. About 15-20 minutes.

Seem like a lot to do? Here’s how I simplified it. Instead of doing it one at a time, I did it all at once. I promise it’s not as complicated as that may sound.  Get water going for noodles. While water is boiling, cook your bacon in a skillet (or something similar that you can then use for cooking the onions and garlic = less dishes). Yes, your noodles will probably be done before the full cheese mixture is done, but it will save you time in the long run. This way too if your noodles are not as firm as you need/want them, you have time to run some cold water over them or throw some ice cubes in with them and let them firm up before baking. As far as reheating, it’s not quite the same when microwaving (especially if you used all that heavy cream)… but you can reheat it in a skillet with a little extra milk/butter) for just a minute or two and voila it’s yummy!

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The Skinless People


So I woke up today tired…I know, it’s shocking, right?! Ok, so it’s not shocking. But, I did wake up in a good mood and am finding delight in lots of things this morning. Like the fact that I remembered to buy more good coffee, so I don’ t have to gulp down hubbyman’s super dark roast. Or the smiles I get when the kids discover that I restocked our oatmeal supply, along with our supply of bananas! Littlest E was not as impressed with his own food and therefore got his breakfast from sneaking spoonfuls (and occasionally fist fulls) of his siblings’ food. Thankfully, his siblings didn’t seem to mind. They just sat there, the three of them, in a row, blissfully eating their breakfast. Or wearing it, depending on your point of view.

Because I’m finding delight in things, I thought I’d share a few things that maybe you would find some delight in too.

Last weekend, I was driving home from my parents, with all the kiddos in tow. It’s about an hourish drive. Which is just long enough to get lots of good stories in. It started with them asking me to tell them the story about when I used to have “a work” to go to… and then they started talking. MissE is crying (yet again) because she doesn’t want to leave Earth, and she doesn’t want to die. And Big E is excitedly talking about how he wants to go to Heaven. He just wants to go and see God’s face. (At which point his sister informs him that he doesn’t have to die to do that, he could just open up and try and see his heart.) He just kind of looks at her sister, and then asks, If I open me up, will I die and go to heaven? I ask him why he wants to go heaven right now, and this conversation followed:

I really just want to see God. And to see all the people who don’t have skin anymore and are just bones. 

Um, what?

You know, when you die all your skin melts off and you’re just bones.

(Insert Miss E crying and saying:) I want to keep my skin! Can we tell God to just make Earth be the Heaven and let us keep our skin, and give the already died people back their skin? 

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Very Pin-teresting


What do you do when you’re sick? What do you do when your kids are sick? They actually haven’t watched too many movies this week, as we’re all feeling a little run down and blah. We have read countless books, done lots of snuggling, and turned the house into a disaster. I tried to convince myself to stay up last night and get some things done, but I only lasted about 20 minutes.

I also have found a new love. I joined a while ago and thought it was cool but never spent any time getting to know it, using it, or anything else…until now. (I had to find something to do while the kids watched a Barney Halloween for the third day in a row.) Pinterest. I can tell already it’s going to be an addiction. I really think anyone and everyone will love it. But if you have any special interests, such as cooking, decorating, crafting, or anything artistic…you’re probably going to have to warn your spouse, significant other, best friend that you’re going to be busy for the… foreseeable future. Ok, maybe not that extreme, but seriously, once you start pinning, it’s hard to stop! There’s just so many completely awesome things!

I came across this and seriously, I feel like telling my daughter this every night before she goes to sleep (I won’t, but I hope she really, really listens to this.).

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Oh For The Love!


  1. What is something that mom always says to you? MissE: you say I love you all the times. BigE: Pick up.
  2. What makes mom happy? MissE: not naughty. BigE: When it’s picked up.
  3. What makes mom sad? MissE: yelling. BigE: When I don’t pick up.
  4. How does mom make you laugh? MissE: tickle me. BigE: tickles, you make me laugh by tickling.
  5. What was mom like when she was a child? MissE: you liked to play. like grandma before she turned into a grandma. BigE: you liked toys.
  6. How old is mommy? she holds up 3 fingers then asks, Are you the age just like I am? BigE: holds up five fingers and asks, this old?
  7. How tall is mommy? MissE: reaches down and touches my toes and then tries to reach my head and says, That’s how tall you are. BigE: Puts hand on top of my head.
  8. What is mommy’s favorite thing to do? MissE: Clean up (I think she’s confusing how I want to spend my time with how I actually spend my time!) BigE: grocery shopping.
  9. What does mommy do when you’re not around? MissE: I don’t know, if I’m not there I can’t see you. BigE: I don’t know. what do you do when I’m not there?
  10. What would mommy be famous for? MissE: for ducks (I have no idea what this means or where she’s going with it… I do know that she thinks this is way too many questions.) BigE: picking up.
  11. What’s mommy good at? MissE: tickling. BigE: cooking.
  12. What is mommy not very good at? MissE: flowers. BigE: Driving airplanes.
  13. What is mommy’s job? MissE: play with me. BigE: picking up
  14. How are you and mommy the same? MissE: being girls. BigE: I don’t know.
  15. How are you and mommy different? MissE: being girls (I’m thinking she doesn’t quite understand “different”). BigE: I’m tootie.
  16. What do you and mom like to do together? MissE: Play in the water or go to the store. BigE: grocery shop.
  17. What is mommy’s favorite food? MissE: chicken. BigE: coffee.
  18. If mom were a cartoon character who would she be? MissE: you. BigE: a dancer.
  19. How do you know mom loves you? MissE: from me. BigE: the kissin’
  20. Where is mommy’s favorite place to go? MissE: the farmer’s market, the store, and your friends’ house. BigE: the grocery shop.
  21. What makes you proud of your mom? MissE: when you give me cereal, that is when I am proud of you. BigE: Mooom, I never get proud. (he seems to think “getting proud” is a bad thing.)
I’d asked Big E these questions when he was just under 2 and just thought it would be fun to go through and ask them again and see their responses. Overall I think they thought it was a)silly and b)too many questions. But it was fun to watch them as they thought over some of the questions, you know, the ones they actually put thought into.
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Did I Show You?


For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
-Audrey Hepburn

Those are just such lovely words, and as I sat thinking about them this morning, I thought about all the other wonderful things I want my children to grow knowing. And hoping that not only do I teach them and tell them things to prepare them for life, but also to show them. So this is my letter to the future them…

Dear children, you are adults now. I hope that I taught you and told you all of the things I meant to, over the years. But most importantly I hope I showed you by modeling them in my own life. Did I show you how important you each are as individuals? Because you are. Even on days when things get lost in the busyness of doing the laundry, making the dinner, and driving you to Tae Kwon Do and dance class.

Did I show you how to be courteous to each other and to others, without ever being anyone’s doormat?  Did I show you that life is filled with choices and so you need to choose carefully. Did I show you to reach for, wait for, and work for all the things that really matter in life, including your biggest dreams?

Did I show you that even in the middle of the biggest heartache, you can find some reprieve in humor? Did I show you that there is always reasons to hope? Did I show you that even though sometimes things don’t go the way we planned, it doesn’t mean that it’s not a blessing or that there isn’t a plan? Did I show you what faith looks like? Did I show you how to believe in yourselves, by believing in you myself?

Did I show you how to be creative? Did I show you that creativity has many forms, and all of them are worthwhile? Did I show you to invest in whatever your creative interests may be?

Did I show you to be thoughtful of people and their needs? Did I show you to have meaning behind your manners? Did I show you to not just say the words of politeness, but also to mean them? Did I show you to have some courage? Did I show you how to embrace the unknown  and live your life to its fullest? Did I also show you to have some control over (your father’s) sense of adventure and to pair it with (your mother’s) good judgement? (*wink*)

Did I show you that even when we disagree the most, we can still love the deepest? Did I show you to dance wherever you feel like it; to sing as loud as you can; to love as thoroughly as you feel; to listen to the words said and unsaid; to laugh as hysterically as you can; be as compassionate as you can be?

Did I show you how to learn from your mistakes? To accept your mistakes? To move past them? Did I show you how to embrace the past, without dragging it into your futures? Did I show you to be considerate of the feelings of others, but to not sit still or silently when change is necessary? Did I show you how to not be afraid of speaking up and speaking out?

Did I show you how beautiful the world around it can be? Did I show you how to live in a way that makes the best of what we have been given? Did I show you the value of making your own path in life? Did I show you the reasons behind the things I believe, and the beliefs I hope you cling to?

Did I show you that I love you more than words could ever express? Did I show you that I am proud of your beyond belief? Did I show you that I believe in you, even when you don’t believe in yourself? Did I show you that I am someone you can always trust and come to for support, comfort, and laughter? Did I show you the joy of being a family? How to live and work as a team? Did I show you my joy of being your parent?

I know you learn through experiences as much as through what you see being demonstrated for you, more than just what has been told to you. So I am hoping that I have shown you all of these things along the way. I hope that I did, but if I missed one along the way, I hope that I have shown you enough that you can make the right choices for yourselves.

Did I show you I love you forever, and always, to the moon and back, plus *16?

Because I do, and I always will.

 

*As soon as Big E could talk, when I’d ask how much he loved mommy, he would shout 16! When asked why 16, he said it was because it was a big number. So big that it was too big to count.  So now when we say our “I love you’s” I always include the 16. (Miss E has also joined in the fun.) But Big E now responds with, Moooom, there’s no numbers in love. And I can’t help but smile and say, but if there were it would be a big number. So big that it’s too big to count.

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