Family | laborofwonder

Give Me A Break

by motherofwonder

TODAYMoms and the people over at Redbook (the magazine) have declared today “No Judgment Day!” (The links will not only take you to their sites, but to their articles about No Judgment Day) It’s all about a day of not judging other moms, as much as not judging yourself! And I tell you what- it couldn’t have come at a better time! Today is day 4 of Miss E and Littlest E having running ~~faucets~~ noses, day 2 of Big E being fevered with a sore throat, and the day I woke up feeling like someone had clawed their way down my throat. So while I was looking around my house thinking all kinds of “judgey“things about myself and trying to find the motivation to make myself crawl around the house getting things done while willing my children to stay whinelessly on the couch while I do so. Neither being very likely. Then I read the No Judgment article. So today, since I likely won’t leave the house, I am giving myself a day free of self-judgement.

TodayMom is asking you to go to their facebook page and answer the question, “Don’t judge me because…’ If you go there, and happen to read my answer- please don’t judge me.

Staying true to theme, here is a short list of things I have decided not to judge myself for today (and I’m hoping that you’ll join me in not judging me for these things!).

I made banana cream pudding for breakfast and the kids are on their second bowl. I really made it because it was what sounded good to me.
While I eyed the laundry in need of folding, I just faced the other direction, wrapped myself in a blanket, and cuddled with my kids while watching a cheesy Christmas movie.
We chopped a little tree last Thursday, but it’s in water outside as I still don’t have a stand for it…
I have no Christmas decorations up/out
There are more toys on the floor than in their bins (that may be a slight exaggeration, emphasis on the slight.)
I know it’s before noon, but now is when I usually decide what to make for dinner (so that I can have things thawed/marinated/know what to send hubbyman to the store for), but I already know that I don’t want to make dinner.
I have a house full of fruits and vegetables (and meals made from them) and I have no interest in any of it. Only banana pudding. And a craving for a some spaghettio-s.
I may just make soup for dinner, even though I know hubbyman won’t like it. (the only soup he deems acceptable is tomato, and only as long as it’s paired with grilled cheese. Otherwise soup does not constitute a meal. If he sees soup he’ll continue looking through the kitchen/oven/fridge hoping I also prepared something else to go along with it.)
I’m thinking nap time should begin at 11am today!
I refuse to get out of my pajamas today. I labeled MissE’s pajamas as “comfy clothes” to get her to join me in the pajama wearing party.
I have no even thought about Christmas cards. And I’m refusing to give them another thought today.

Are there things you judge other parents for? Are there things you feel judged on by other mom’s (or dad’s)? Are there things you judge yourself for? Give yourself -and others- a free pass today! And try to carry a little less judgment through the rest of the year!

Family Life According To Me

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Signs My Children Are Evil Geniuses

by motherofwonder

Ok, maybe they’re not evil…. and maybe they’re not geniuses (I’m saying that for the sole reason that there are parents out there whose children are not geniuses, and if that’s you, I want you to keep reading with a clear mind, instead of one muddled with thoughts of how your children are under-achievers.. Obviously, mine actually are geniuses.)

Sign #1. As I typed of them truly being geniuses, my youngest stripped off his diaper, only to immediately pee on the floor. And then cry about being wet. My children love to make a liar out of me, or maybe just a fool. Either way they win; I lose.

Sign #2. The men on my husband’s side all need to be fed before they get hungry or disaster ensues. So if one of my boys says they’re hungry, for the love of all things peaceful, feed them and feed them quick! My oldest always seems to get hungry just as I’m in the middle of doing something tedious/time consuming/I have to get done which means that I’ll make him something fast like a PB&J (this kid would live on it if he had the choice) instead of cooking an entire meal.

Sign #3. They keep me guessing. MissE will whine and whine and whine. Just when I think I’m, going to lose it with her, and the constant questions, requests, and flat out whining, she’ll respond with, I was asking if I could have this orange to share with Big E, because we’re hungry and it’s healthy for us so we’ll grow big and strong. They do all these childish things and then spout out some grown up paraphernalia. Yesterday, MissE’s complaint was that Littlest E just didn’t appreciate her. Yes, those were her words.

Sign #4. I’m guessing most people with a dog probably also have this problem, but I’m adding it in as collective evidence. Something they don’t want to eat but have been told they have to? It inevitably gets spilled on the floor where the dog lay in wait, before I could even think about the possibility of making them eat it anyways. (I’m not specifically saying I would, just saying it’s gone before I could even process that thought!)

Sign #. This may be the most telling sign of all. My children are good helpers. Big E wakes up and lets the dog out, often all on his own. Miss E is my “fetcher” (as she woman looks for objects where as my boys “man look”- which either means that it truly is genetic, or Big E is a bigger evil genius than I realized), and even Littlest E loves to help put away toys. They love to help so much that they often argue over who gets to do what. If I ask someone to let the dog back in and one keeps playing, while the other goes running… the one left behind falls into hysterics as they obviously wanted to be the one to do it. And heaven forbid I ask one of them specifically to do something for me, the other is always hurt that I didn’t ask them to do it. Which means that sometimes I weigh the time spent calming them down vs. time spent doing the job itself. And I admit there are times when I just do things myself because that’s easier than dealing with the but-I-wanted-to-do-it fall out. Which just may be exactly what they wanted….

She *looks* so unsuspecting, doesn't she?

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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The White Fluffy Stuff (that isn’t marshmallows)

by motherofwonder

Can I just say that the Saturday before Thanksgiving is not a great time for a quick trip to the grocery store?? I spent twice as long in line as I did shopping. After returning from our outing, I sat down for a(nother) cup of coffee. When I filled my cup, there was nothing going on outside. By the time my cup was empty (like 30 minutes, maybe 45), I glanced out the door and scared hubbyman by gasping, Look! The deck was covered, along with all the roofs of our neighbors and most of the yards. (Backstory; Big E has been asking every morning if today will be the day it will snow. I’d been telling him all week that Saturday would be the day. And he’d already asked a couple times on our trip out if it was time for the snow yet.) So I flew downstairs and grabbed my biggest boy, covered his eyes, and brought him to the window. His eyes widened and he shrieked, It’s snow!! He helped his daddy shovel the driveway and made a snowman. He has since been very concerned about doing everything possible to not let the snow melt. Including trying to convince his parents to move his snowman into the freezer. That’s a reasonable request, right?

Another thing keeping me laughing during all the craziness that the holidays can bring on… every time I’ve looked at Littlest E this morning he says, Shake! Booty! And then starts dancing. Highly entertaining!

A few days ago Littlest E did some raking. This weekend Big E shoveled the walkway. Wonder what child labor I can find for Miss E this week?

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

Is Today Over Yet?

by motherofwonder

So this morning has been a little chaotic…and it’s not quite 9am. I rolled over in the nighttime to find that Big E had climbed into bed with us, which normally I actually don’t mind, but it was the 3rd night in a row. Once a month I’m totally ok with, once a week I could probably ignore, but three nights in a row is it for this mommy. Which, unfortunately for his daddy, means the next few nights if he gets up, his daddy is taking him back to bed. I should mention, Littlest E was already in there with us. So now there were 2 wiggley boys…one who likes the blankets on, and one who likes them off, and two that don’t sleep if anyone else is touching them. At least they got some sleep. So now you know how I slept, would you like to know how I woke up? No? Too bad, I’m telling you anyways! I woke up to Littlest E pulling my laptop down off the ledge (right above my bed) and onto my face. I still have the headache to prove it.

And I only had enough of my coffee to make one cup… which pretty much ensures that this will be a day where I ~~want~~ need more than one cup. I thought of mixing it with hubbyman’s dark french roast…but decided that would be wasting the one perfectly good cup. So I went ahead and made what I had. Only to have Littlest E pick up my freshly-poured cup and dump it. I was able to whisk the laptop out from under his wrath, but his sister did not fare so well. And was much more vocal. In frustration, and defeat, I bargained for some quiet by offering to turn on Strawberry Shortcake for her. Which is perhaps the best bargaining tool for my little girl. Only to not be able to get the wii going (to play netflix on). Next I moved onto our new logitech revue (basically a fancy-schmancy remote within a keyboard that turns your tv into a “smart tv”… which doesn’t seem to have any of the actual features I’d been duped with in order to purchase it). I’d beg to differ about the “smart” part because for the life of me I could not figure out how to get the remote to actually work to run. After trying to figure it out for over 30 minutes. I gave up. There goes my bargaining tool. The next 30 minutes were spent trying to convince my little red-head that Cat in The Hat was just as good as Strawberry Shortcake. She finally relented, or moved on to silent loathing, you can never be too sure which. Just in time for Big E to wake up, and request watching a certain show, that of course is also through Netflix. He was fairly certain that it would work and that I just didn’t want to stop cleaning the coffee out of the carpet. Now, I’m not big on cartoons, but I’m pretty sure that even I would rather watch his kids’ animation than to clean my one-cup-of-good-coffee stain out of the carpet.

And then I sat down, decided to write a brilliant, funny post and wouldn’t you know, as I wrote the last sentence. All but the first two sentences deleted. And while it normally saves every couple of minutes or however often it does that… this time, it of course saved after the deletion. Ok, I can’t promise that it was brilliant, or that there were more than a few moments of laughter-inducing words…but the rest of it is true. Good thing it’s Friday! I’m going to focus on the fact that we have a rather plan-free weekend ahead of us, instead of panicking over the plan-filled-holicraze that begins next week.

And in light of me trying to change my outlook on this day, here are some things that I actually am thankful for:

children. As crazy as they can make me feel, never a day goes by where I’m not struck by how blessed I am to have each one of them.
hubbyman cleaned out the dryer vent and it not dries waaaaay more efficiently. Like half the time, at least! It’s amazing.
That it’s boot season. I know that’s not life-changing, but I love my boots. And if that’s what gets me through how long winters here are, I’m ok with that.
That my children play so well with one another for so much of the day.
That I have not let the house get out of hand this week (it happens so fast sometimes!).
That this weeks meals were met with rave reviews (Big E requested that we have my meatloaf and “smashed ‘tatoes” every night.)
That we may have measurable snow this weekend! (Yes, I just complained about the length of winter, only to say I’m thankful for snow. I get the irony. Color me Minnesotan.)

Littlest through a blue vase

Family Life According To Me Thankful Fridays Things Kids Say

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Football For Life!

by motherofwonder

I am a girl who very much likes football. Really. My whole little family could be a walking Viking commercial. (In looking for pictures to post, I found I had more pictures of us in Viking gear than I thought and had a hard time choosing!) I like football, in general,so much I will (willingly) watch games that are not featuring “my team.” Now before the rest of my contemporaries throw me under the bus for “betraying my kind,” know that it is a great bonding time with my hubbyman, one that the kids have gotten in on. Seriously, Big E would sit and watch a whole game with his daddy when he was too little to be watching tv! And they love “our” team so much that they have a hard time accepting that a) there are any other teams, b) anyone would cheer for any other team, and c) that their beloved Vikings could not win a game. (All Viking fans have this problem, I’m sure. Please, withhold your laughter. It’s bad enough to be a fan. Don’t kick us while we’re down.) I came across this video via the f’book this morning and laughed watching it…and I assure you, you will too. And if you’re not laughing, you are probably commiserating.

This is just too hilarious, sad, and true…and anyone that knows my children, knows how easily this could have been a video of one of them (I know I already said this, but it bears repeating!)! In fact, when I showed them this video, they responded in 3 ways:

Watching a game with daddy. Really.

Big E: The Vikings show? Is it time for the Viking show now?

Me: No, that was a couple days ago.

Big E: Did you forget to tell me what time it was?

Me: No, you watched a little bit of it, but you were watching a movie in the playroom instead.

Big E: I don’t think you told me the Viking show was on. Daddy would have wanted me to watch the Viking show with him. He likes me to see them win and do the touchdown.

Me: I know he does. But the Vikings didn’t win this time.

Big E: (getting very upset) Yes, they did.

Me: I wish they had, trust me, but they didn’t win this time.

Big E: I am never going to trust you because I did want them to win and I didn’t want to watch a movie instead of the Viking show.

MissE in Viking apparel via Grama

Miss E: Why is that little girl crying?

Me: Because she wanted the Vikings to win.

Miss E: Did they not do many touchdowns?

Me: No, they did not do many touchdowns.

Miss E: (begins to cry) but I only like it when the Vikings win.

Me: I know, me too.

Miss E: (Throws herself on the couch, while crying) You should never say the Vikings didn’t win. They only win.

Daddy and "the big 2"- before they were big

Littlest E: (pointing at computer screen) Baby

Me: She’s bigger than you. You are the baby.

Littlest E: (pointing at computer screen) Baby! (pointing at himself) Big boy!

Me: This argument is going to go as well as the Vikings loss…

Littlest at a Viking's game!

Even my littlest man thinks it's shocking how bad the Vikes are this year!

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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You’ve Gotta be Kidding Me!

by motherofwonder

Have you ever had one of those days where every time you turn around something happens that makes you throw your hands up in the air and ask the age-old question- Are You kidding me?! Well, that was my day yesterday…Dog completely emptying a full bag of trash and drag it all over freshly vacuumed kitchen and living room? Check. Children discovering where the suckers were hidden, and their sneaky-ness not being discovered until the 3rd sucker? Check and check. (hey, I was doing the laundry and they were the small suckers!) Baby repeatedly taking off freshly changed diaper, only to pee on the floor? Check. Check. And check. Voices in the monitor when no one was in the room? Check.

Not the deer from my yard, but it coulda been! Imagine this running straight for you- from 15 yards away! (Clicking on the photo will take you to its source!)

8 point buck traipse through the yard? Check. Lady honk her horn long and loud enough to scare the deer from the road and instead straight back at me? Check. Life-flashing-before-eyes scream? Check. Dog come out of nowhere to growl/bark/defend/scare away the deer? Check! (He may have redeemed himself a little here.) Deer continue to meander its way through the street, moseying from one yard to another. Sigh. And check. Check please?

Does saving my life cancel out the garbage dumping? I haven't decided yet.

Nap time? Check…. crap. No check.

Family Life According To Me

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A Letter To My (Former) Self

by motherofwonder

Have you ever thought about all the things that you wish you’d known: a) as a child; b) in high school; c) in college; d) when you woke up this morning? I have. More than once. Now I know that you can’t really go back and redo things otherwise you wouldn’t be where you are now… and really, I’m happy where I am now. But it would be nice if I could go back in time and at least some of the heartbreak, or worry less, or something. And so if I could whisper in the ear of my former self, during some life-changing moments, these are some of the things I would say.

You will recover. You will move on. You will be safe.
Childhood really doesn’t last forever… enjoy every carefree moment you have.
Do not let anyone treat you as disposable. You are not.
Dispose of him. Dispose of him quickly.
You will not have to make excuses for someone who really loves you.
Be loud! Be funny! Be you and enjoy being you!
Their opinions of you are less important than the way you feel about being you. Focus on that.
You really can love your first kiss forever.
You can think feministically while holding on to your desire for children. You don’t have to choose one or the other.
You don’t have to have it all figured out all the time.
Marriage is going to be harder than you ever imagined and better than you ever dreamed.
There is an adjustment period when he comes home from a deployment. Prepare for it.
Your husband is never going to be able to read your mind.
I repeat: your husband is never going to be able to read your mind.
Children are going to change your views and opinions on so many things, people, and ideas.
Peanut butter on a spoon and applesauce will get you through your pregnancies buy in bulk.
Your children will make you feel like you are the most impatient person in the world. Start praying for patience now.
Eventually, they will start picking up their own toys.
Your husband will never learn the workings of a laundry basket/hamper. So just give it up.
The people you love will not be here indefinitely. Love them all you can, every minute.
Life goes by faster than you can ever imagine. So hold them close, cuddle them all you can, always be willing to dole out kisses to the owwies, keep your camera in hand, and love like crazy.

Family Life According To Me Marriage Things You Should Say

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Anniversary Bliss

by motherofwonder

This weekend the unimaginable happened- ~~Littlest E~~ I survived an overnight away. And hubbyman only had to tell me once that I couldn’t talk about how I missed him. I think I faired pretty well. With the exception of being restless the first half of the night, he had a marvelous time, as did his grandparents who had him in their care. They got to witness the hilarity that we see on a daily basis. (I got text messages of his funniness. They are discovering what we’ve known for a while- he tries to be funny.) He did shriek when he saw me and has been showering me with kisses. But he also reacts that way when I return from a trip to the grocery store. The Big 2 got to stay at home with The Uncles. (They also sent me text messages of the funny things they’d say. And said they plan to record their answers to questions from hereon out. I’m thinking humor is in the genes.) They all had a fabulous time. They got boxed macaroni, lots and lots of movies, and the Uncles even brought over a huuuuge bowl of fruit that they basically consumed on their own. (by they, I mean Big E and Miss E. Hopefully no tummy issues play out today!) Ok, so we’ve established that I survived, they survived, and we’re all a big, funny family…

But the point of it all is, hubbyman and I had an amazing time in honor of our 7th wedding anniversary! Now we always enjoy our time together, and we always have fun…. but this time just seemed a little above & beyond. Hubbyman even kept repeating, I’m having such a good time! We always stay at the same hotel (it’s our tradition- to stay at the hotel we stayed on our wedding night.), which while you might think it could get monotonous, it doesn’t. In fact, this trip reaffirmed why we always continue to stay there.

We got there and snuggled into a booth, ate a mediocre dinner (we’ve never had any complaints about their food before, which is maybe why we were so nonplussed at the fact that it was just kind of…okay.) and headed to our room. We were just unloading and regrouping before heading down to the courtyard for their “manager’s reception” (read: open bar) when there was a knock at the door. Someone from the wait staff was at our door with champagne and chocolate-covered strawberries! Compliments of the hotel in celebration of our anniversary! (When I made the reservation, I noted that a) it was our anniversary and b) we stay here every year for our anniversary. A good hotel with take note!)

Photo from phone. Camera was forgotten.

We were pretty excited about that! At the “reception” the bartender remembered us! And was such a sweetheart! We talked about how it was things like that, that makes us continue returning year after year! So we had an evening of laughter, games, chatter…and just an overall good time! Our only complaint was that the room was a little chilly. And no matter how high we cranked the thermostat, the room didn’t change temperature. By the end of the night we had it cranked to 90. And it was definitely not 90 degrees. Maybe 65ish. But anyways, the next morning we ate our way through their huge, made-to-order breakfast, went back to our room to shower and head out. Hubbyman basically jumped in and out of the shower, because you could hardly even call it warm. I stuck it out long enough to wash and condition my hair, and by the very end (after maybe 20 minutes of water running) it was warm. I had it cranked all the way and it never moved past warm (muchlike the heat!). Now maybe these sound like big issues, and if we’d of been there as a family, it probably would have felt like a bigger deal. But we were just enjoying each other and our time away, and having such a good time that we didn’t really think much of it.

So we go down to check out and Hubbyman just mentions that they might want to send someone up to look at the thermostat because we couldn’t get it to change the heat, no matter how high we put it. And I piped up with, and the shower had no hot water either. I was afraid she would think we were just complainers… so I quickly added, we stay here every year and have never had complaints, so this is a first. Well, to make up for it, she comped our room. We were surprised, excited, and thankful. And made us even more sure of the fact that we will definitely be going back next year. Since Littlest E will be over 2 next year, maybe we can even turn it into a whole weekend get away! You know, if I can stand to be away from the the little ones for that long! As much as I miss them, these quick little escapes are so vital to our marriage!

Since I forgot to on Friday, I will add my thankful list here and now:

*For a husband who has stood beside me all these years (kissing partner of 14 years, husband of 7)

*That my husband still enjoys spending time with me- and I with him!

*For 3 beautiful, healthy children who bless me more than i could’ve ever imagined!

*For wonderful, willing, helpful family members! (Whether it’s a quick visit at a craft fair, to babysitting 2 wiggley monkeys, to enduring a little ones first overnight away from his parents)

Family Life According To Me Marriage

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The 7 Year Itch

by motherofwonder

Sunday is the anniversary of the day I became a wife! 7 years ago! My sister-in-law make a comment about 7 being “the year of the promise,” and it got me thinking. Not about all the promises that you make on your wedding day, though those are good too. But about the promise of a future together. While I know that we will look back and say, 7 years?! That was nothin’! At least in comparison to the 50 or more years I hope we spend together. But 7 years, is still 7 years. And at this point, 7 years is a quarter of my life. That’s a fairly big chunk.

The first five years are kind of “newlywed” years. Learning how to live together, to love together, to grow together…and most importantly, how to stay together. Does that mean that we’ve passed some boundary where we’re no longer susceptible to disagreement or strife within our marriage? Absolutely not. But what it does mean is that we have almost a decade of foundation underneath us now to help carry us through.

I think the first couple years can be hard for the “getting used to” and accommodating to each other reasons, but the last couple years and the next decade, will probably be hard years. Not because of our marriage itself, rather where we are in our lives. He had a demanding job and often works long hours. And I’m at home. All. Day. with our 3 young children. It’s a trying time in our lives. But I’m certain these times will also contain some of our most cherished, beloved, and thought of memories of all, as well. The day we became parents. The day we became parents to a daughter. The day we lost a baby. The day we witnessed a miracle (Littlest E). The family trips. The birthday parties. The surprise birthday parties. The family movie nights. The weekend breakfasts. The staying up way too late after the kids have gone to bed, just to have an hour or two together. The laughter. The tears. The hard work. The lack of sleep… it’s all a part of the promise of the future we have together. As parents, as a family, and as partners.

Do we meet all of each other’s needs? Not always. Do things go the way we’d envisioned them? Rarely. Will life move along at a pace close to that of the speed of sound? Indefinitely. The moral of the story is this- I chose him 7 years ago and have chosen him every day since. Just as I believe he will continue to choose me as well. As long as I keep cooking. ♥

Family Life According To Me Marriage

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How We Survive

by motherofwonder

So as I was doing the dishes, I thought I was overhearing a rather sweet moment passing between Littlest E and MissE. I poked my head into the living room to catch them in a hug, smiled at their sweetness, and went back to the dishes. Only to catch the last few words of what MissE was actually saying.

That’s right you little boy, I’m never going to let you go. You’re not going to get passed me and get my dolly.

That’s right that sweet moment I’d just witnessed was really a hostage situation. She was afraid he was going to get her doll (probably with good reason, they do tend to want whatever toy is prized.) and she was going to do anything she could to make sure that didn’t happen. Apparently including keeping him clamped in her grip. Finally Littlest started to fuss and complain about the hostage situation and so I poked my head back in. saying, “Miss E, you know if you’d let go of your brother you’d have a free hand to actually play with your dolly.” To which she scrunched up her pretty little face, heaved a huge sigh, and spouted off with, Ahh! This is never going to work! I tried to stifle my laughter and asked her, What isn’t going to work? I want to play with Littlest. Well, it looks like he wants to play with you too. But he keeps touching my toys. You want him to play with you without touching the toys? Yeah. I just want him to watch me play with my toys. That’s how he can play with me.

With his ever-perfecting comedic timing, Littlest walks back in with his sister’s trash can, takes one look at her, shakes his head, and sticks the basket on his head (it goes to his belly) and walks out. *Sigh* I know how he feels. So if you happen to see me walking around with a trash can or basket on my head, don’t worry about it, it’s a means of survival around here.