Family | laborofwonder

Always, Always, Always

by motherofwonder

I read a post on facebook this morning that said: There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

(Credit: Just Feelin' Good on Facebook. Clicking the photo will bring you to it!)

While I am still struggling with some things, there (as always) are still things to be thankful for. And since it’s been a while since I’ve remembered to do a Thankful Friday post… I’m doin’ it today! Some of these things have happened and some are happening this weekend… I’m thankful just knowing some of the things we’ve got comming up!

I am thankful for a day to celebrate my wonderful hubbyman (yesterday was his 30th!)!
A brother (and sister-in-law) that want to spend time with the people who’ve made them aunts and uncles. And requesting an overnight with them!
And parents willing to take Littlest for an overnight!
That Littlest doesn’t mind and actually enjoys being the only one and getting all the attention!
A whole afternoon, evening, night, and morning without children!!
A night out with friends!
That I’m feeling a little more like myself
That I’m giving myself permission to feel however I feel, for however long I feel like it
That I already miss my children (yes, I really am thankful for that. It’s a wonderful reminder of how much I love them, even when they’re driving me a little batty.)
For family and friends ready and willing to give me their support
For a very supportive husband (x a million!)
For children who are so aware of my feelings, and are always willing to give extra hugs and kisses when they think I need it
For my children.
For my children.
For my children.
For Biggest
For Miss
For Littlest
Repeat x a million

Now, this doesn’t really go in line with my normal Thankful Fridays (but I am thankful to have people in my personal life, and in my blogosphere life that are supportive and caring in my own mental health!), but a couple weeks ago it was Mental Health Awareness week, and it went by without my notice, so I am posting this photo now, because it’s good to be aware of it any time of the year!

(Credit: facebook group I Jump, You Jump. Clicking on the photo will bring you to the original link.)

Family Life According To Me Marriage Thankful Fridays

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Simply Crafty

by motherofwonder

What do you do when you don’t feel like doing the things you should do? Yesterday, I found myself not wanting to get out of bed. And I just didn’t have it in me to do anything. So I decided to do the one thing that was sure to make the day go quickly and be filled with smiles and laughter. Crafts. Messy, funny, make the kitchen a distaster crafts. I’d found a bunch of things I wanted to try for Valentine’s Day, as well as hubbyman’s birthday (tomorrow! And today is his last day in his 20’s, so tomorrow’s a big day!)… so I got out the paints. I made a tablecloth out of newspapers and got out the poster board. Projects I wanted to try didn’t turn out quite as I anticipated, but an accidental one turned out so great I plan to frame them!

Here’s one I wanted to make for Grandparents:

(clicking the photo will bring you to its origin. All credit goes to meetthedubiens.com)

Looks easy and cute, right? Just put some finger paint on their arm and hand, and use their fingers to make the hearts…

As you can see, it didn’t turn out exactly like my muse. Turns out it’s a little hard to get the 3 and under crown to get their little fingers to fully cooperate in the heart making.

But, doing these did lead me to something I thought was cool, and repeat-worthy, even if it was on accident.

I am totally going to frame one from each of the kids. I had them each do three or four so that we’d get lots of good choices. Littlest probably had to do ten before I could get him to stop trying to grab the paper when I’d take his hand off. It started as an accident when I was trying to make the Valentine’s trees, and they’d gotten another color of paint on his hand and on the plate that I’d squirted the finger paint onto. And the result was so cool, it demanded repeats. I had red, yellow, green, and blue tubes of finger paint. I simply squirt a small amount of each onto a paper plate, stick in the kid’s arm, rub around a bit, followed by the attached hand… and put it to paper. And frame. And look upon with fondness for years to come, Easy peasy. (while children point it out to their friends saying, Parents get attached to/save the weirdest crap.)

These were inspired by the fact we were already covered in paint from painting a poster board Birthday Card for the hubbyman. Today he turns 30 and may be mourning his youth. I think the fact that he still has great hair evens things out. Either way, we love him and wish him the happiest of birthdays! (If you visit my facebook page you can see their sweet/funny birthday video for their daddy.)

Family Impressively Simple Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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Live To Love Another Day

by motherofwonder

I opened this tab and sat here and stared at the blank screen, willing thoughts and words to come. I stared at the screen some more. I opened another tab. I checked my facebook notifications. Nothing terribly interesting there. Although, it turns out, I am not alone in my enjoyment of the combination of red wine and snickerdoodles. But maybe that’s because they didn’t know that was my dinner. Whoops. (I don’t care.) It turns out, that the emotions I’m feeling, that I’ve been feeling, they’re not fleeting. Apparently I have to deal with them or something lame like that. I spent the majority of the day in tears.

Now I know that I talk of my love of wine and it’s powerful healing and relaxing properties, but the truth is… I’m not a big drinker. I don’t need a glass a day; I don’t even want a glass a day. I certainly enjoy a good glass of wine (my father in law just made a new batch of plum port, and wow, is that good!), but it’s just more of a eh, if it’s here I’d have some, maybe. Unless I have an already cold can of Pepsi, because more likely that yells my name a little louder. And I kind of have a “rule” that I don’t drink before hubbyman gets home. It’s not really a rule, and truthfully, hubbyman wouldn’t care. I just don’t feel like it (I’m still pumping myself full of caffeine to survive until he gets home, I don’t need anything that makes me more tired!), plus I feel like it can be a slippery slope once you go there. However, there have been days when things have happened or bad moods have occured and I’ve texted the hubbyman to say Is it too early to start drinking? To which he always responds, Nope. And then he gets home and finds that I never even poured myself a glass of anything. Or if I did, it just sat there on the counter. Well, yesterday, I poured myself a glass of wine. And while I only had a couple of sips by the time hubby came home, he took one look at the wine on the counter, and immediately looked at me, and asked what was wrong. I shrugged and shook my head. He immediately came over and gave me a hug, and said, last night you cried and today you’re drinking wine… what’s going on? And I couldn’t even respond. The emotions were too fresh, the pain too real. And then he quietly said, You want another baby. And I just cried. I know, we have three children and our oldest is only 5. We are crazy, busy. But I love it. And I love them. And I am not saying that we would actually have another baby, but I would love another one. But that is not an option. And it’s not a choice I get to make.

While I was terribly disappointed that hubbyman had to drop the kids back off after Tae Kwon Do to head back in to work, I was very surprised to see him return with roses, for me. For the second time in a week! (This is unheard of in our household! Truly, unheard of! I asked if this was his way of getting out of paying the higher prices for flowers when it’s Valentine’s Day. He claims he didn’t think about that until after he bought them. I think I believe him.) I’m sure at some point, we’ll probably talk, with words. But for now, the support of him just holding me, of just acknowledging why I’m sad, and showing his love and concern. That’s pretty powerful. The truth is, I don’t know that I’m ready to talk about it. It’s one thing to type it out, but it’s another thing completely to use my own voice, to have to hear those words. I woke up today, and felt…exhausted. Emotionally spent. I’m hoping it’s a step in the right direction, at least.

In the midst of all my grey skies, I am still surrounded by the humor and excitement that is my children. I wish I could have gotten it on video, but I forgot my camera at home… during Madonna’s halftime performance, my MissE (who loves all things dance and singing) was glued to the TV. When the cheerleading part came on, she stood directly in front of the TV, mimicking their moves and even singing along. (And I promise she has never heard that song before.) It was hilarious and amazing all at once. And further proof that we need to get her tiny little behind in a dance class.

And my oldest just informed that I am making him freak out due to how much annoying I’m being… on that note, I think I have some children to annoy, I mean play with.

my dinner... Red Wine and Snickerdoodles

Family Life According To Me Marriage Things Kids Say

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Good (a)n(d) Sad

by motherofwonder

I have a confession to make… everyone I know seems to be pregnant. Or has someone under one in their house. Or talks about wanting to be pregnant. And I’ll admit, with my biggest boy reaching school age years, I’ve had thoughts of how fast they’ve grown and how soon Littlest will leave the Toddler-Baby years, and be a full fledged Toddler-Boy. And gone will be the days of babies in my house and in my arms. No tears had been shed, just a heart, hanging a little heavier. And then yesterday happened. I was way overtired, and the kids were way over-wired. Not a good combination. On the way home, hubbyman and I were talking about people who can’t put aside their own feelings to be happy for other people. Or something along those lines. And I said something about how much time had gone by and moving on in life, and he countered with, I can see you feeling that way. And at first, I was annoyed, because he was wrong. I would never display my emotions so publicly, especially in a way that would take away some of anyone’s happiness. But that’s me, and we all feel differently and express ourselves differently. And I had no right to judge someone for their feelings. (And if I’m really honest, I’ll own that I feel a little guilty about my judgmental thoughts.) After being annoyed for him being wrong, then I just felt sad about him being right. I still hold to the fact that I would not have behaved in the same manner, but he is right in the fact that I would have felt the same way; I just wouldn’t have shown it. But that’s because it’s not my way. My way is passive, my way is to hide and continue on. My way is probably not healthy. Even writing this, I find myself, opening new tabs and looking over things to organize closets on pinterest. And a fabulous sweatshirt that not only would keep me warm, but actually looks cute and not just another jeans and oversized sweatshirt outfit. Because those things are easy and feeling things are hard. And if I’m really honest, I’m afraid once I start feeling things, I won’t know how to stop.

And that’s precisely what happened. I started thinking about why the evening’s incident had rattled me, and what I found surprised me. I expected sadness, but I had not anticipated all the anger. As I think happy thoughts of my friends and family that are carrying their growing babies in their growing bellies (my sister in law is looking so cute as her baby belly is growing and becoming more pronounced and I cannot wait to see my friend as her belly grows as well!), I cannot help but feel a bit… of everything. I feel nostalgic thinking of when I had my biggest boy in my belly, I feel sadness when I think about the baby I did not get to meet, I feel happy when I think of how much I enjoyed my growing belly (even thought I felt miserable) with my girl, I feel anxious when I think about how scared I was during littlest’s pregnancy. And then it finally hits me. I feel angry that I will never experience any of that again. Maybe a better choice of words is that I feel angry that I cannot experience those things again. Maybe explanations are necessary, but just to clear up any misgivings (and should hubbyman happen to be reading this), I am not angry with him. This is not about him being happy with our three, or the fact that he had a vasectomy. This is about the fact that I had that choice taken from me, by a Dr. who was more worried about being able to make his other patients’ birth than the care I was receiving. Is it possible I could carry to term, well, I am the first to admit that miracles happen. But the more likely outcome is that I would lose another pregnancy; I would lose another baby. And I know that enduring another miscarriage would be more than I could handle as I cannot imagine a day where I wouldn’t give everything just to see and hold the baby I never got to know, just for a day, an hour, even just one minute.

I knew these feelings would come. I knew that one day Littlest would be grown enough that I would start to miss the days of newborn things. I knew that one day I would have to face the fact that I cannot carry anymore children, no matter if I were planning on more or not. I knew one day I feel the feelings I am feeling now. Anger, loss, sadness, and more anger. I’ve only allowed myself to think of it as our choice until this point. But now that I’ve gone there, I’m having a hard time gaining my control back. All I can think of is the emotions of getting to tell the people you love that you’re adding another person to the group, the look on hubbyman’s face the first time he feels the baby kick, the look on his face the first time he holds his babies, the first cries, the first kisses, the first hugs. I look at my three sweet babies and it’s not that they are not enough, it is that they are so overwhelmingly wonderful that I can’t help but imagine it would be that way with any number of children we should have. It’s the knowledge of how it could be. And the knowledge of how it can’t. And I didn’t get to make that decision.

I don’t know how to get past that. I don’t know if it’s something I can get past. But when Littlest woke up in the middle of the night, I brought him into bed with me, cuddled him close and whispered sincere prayers of thankfulness. It’s not fair that I don’t get to choose. It’s not. It’s not fair that I have one baby who’ll remain in my heart, but never in my arms. But was it fair that despite all the medical failings, along with my own body, that my littlest boy is here, alive, and so healthy? I don’t know about its fairness, but miraculous, yes, it is that. My boy who they didn’t pay the proper attention to (multiple medical professionals knew that he was not growing properly and that his cord wasn’t inserted by much and yet no information was shared with me, nor was complete bedrest mandated as it should have been, among many other things that accured before and after his birth), my boy that my body couldn’t provide for (his cord wasn’t inserted at all and my placenta was crumbling), my boy that has his sweet, soft, chubby little cheek nestled in my neck. His birth ended in the ending of birthing for me, and obviously I would never trade that for his sweet self. So maybe that’s how I get past it. Maybe that’s what gets me through the anger. I’m still sad. And I still think it’s unfair. But I am thankful that I have my boy out of that whole awful situation. And maybe that is what will get me through. That and probably a few glasses of good wine.

(To read more on the birth of my miraculous Littlest man, go here.)

Family Life According To Me Marriage

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A Warning Sign

by motherofwonder

Have you ever woken up on the wrong side of the bed? I wasn’t aware that I did, but after being awake for a few hours (maybe it just takes me until my coffee has fully downloaded before I’m truly aware), that is where I’ve found myself. I kind of feel it’s not fair, that you can wake up, and not realize that you’re about to get up on the wrong side of the bed! I’d like to find someone who can invent me a sign that will flash- WRONG SIDE! or OTHER SIDE, QUICK! or better yet, FOR THE LOVE OF YOUR CHILDREN, GO TO OTHER SIDE! before my feet hit the ground. I mean, those sound like warnings I would probably heed. And I think a warning is fair.

I think I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. You see, I was planning a birthday party for biggest E, but before I actually sent out invitations, hubbyman decided he didn’t think the kids should have birthday parties every year (I know right, who threw the wet towel on him?!). The grandparents have talked him back into it though. I’ll admit that last year, Big E and Miss E had pretty big birthday parties. And since they’re still young, parties for them include their friends and their friends’ parents (I’m not complaining, their friends, are our friends’ children), not to mention all our families. So it ends up being a complete houseful and I plan foods and games and crafts… it’s memorable. And Big E has been talking about having a Cat in The Hat birthday party (completely with a cake that looks like The Cat’s hat), pretty much since the day after his last birthday party. Sooo… that’s what he’s getting, and I’ve had less than a week to plan for it. Now I have today, and the following 2 days to get it all together. And since it’s so last minute, it’s looking like none of his little friends can attend (he’s at the age where girls have cooties and therefore requested that only boys be invited)… so I’m trying to make it extra special so that he feels like the day is just a special thing for him and not focus on the fact that there’s no other kids! And that’s not to mention the housecleaning that will need to be done before everyone shows up. Thankfully, I have been pretty on top of things at home the last couple of weeks, so that’s not something I’m panicking about, just something that needs to be kept up with. What does annoy me is the fact that my laptop is broken (and still unreplaced), so I can’t bring it with me around the house, to casually look through ideas while doing laundry or playing with the kids. If I’m at the computer, I have to literally be at the computer. Feels so primal after the conveniece of my little computer that went everywhere with me. I’m in mourning over the loss of my friend. That’s right, I just referred to a computer as my friend. And no, it is not an inanimate object, hello… it has the capability to poke or tweet. That is not inanimate, my friends. It can also play me songs, or movies, or let me read funny blog postings in the middle of the night when a baby has woken up and I can’t fall back to sleep. So yes, it is my friend, and I’m sad about the loss of her. (Obviously, it is/was a female. All that multitasking, it had to be female.)

Ok, breakfast is over, coffee has been drank, and my day must continue. And since I can’t carry this hunk-a-chunk computer with me, this is where we must part. I wonder if there’s a right or wrong side of the office chair to get out of? With my luck, the right side is probably the one next to the wall where there’s no room to get out of. *Sigh. Face to palm.*

Family Life According To Me

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Mom Challenge

by motherofwonder

Do you ever have one of those dreams where everything feels so real, and something happens that wakes you up either feeling very a) happy, b) sad, or c) mad? Me too. In fact, I had one of those dreams last night. And I woke up furious. And the fury was directed mainly at the hubbyman (who luckily for him, had already left for work). At first I was confused as to why I was so angry with him. I didn’t immediately recall the dream and I was trying to think of anything to happen recently that would cause that kind of affect. And slowly I remembered the dream. Whew. At least I don’t have to spend any more time being mad at hubby for something he didn’t do. (Or do I stay mad because of the potential that it’s something he could/might do at some point, some day? Hmm… no, I won’t. That sounds like a lot of useless effort, and I haven’t even had my coffee yet.) No, he didn’t have an affair, or leave me, or anything like that. And I don’t remember all the specifics, other than he volunteered me or something, saying that I would sit down and do it and not be allowed to leave until it was done. And man did that cause a scene. Maybe because I got up, yelling and stomping like a 2 year old and fled the perfectly lovely dinner we’d been having with some family members… in my dream, of course.

Well, I decided not to hold hubbyman accountable for his actions in my dreams. (You’re welcome, my dear. I’m generous, I know.) So I put on my big girl pants, and went about my business. My business being primarily of the homemaker variety. I cleaned forever, I did mountains of laundry, and I even discovered that there is actually carpeting on the floor in my children’s bedrooms! Who knew?! The day was not going so bad, considering my mood at its start. My biggest boy even gave me a moment of reprieve with his wit: Whew, it’s a good thing I turned to five now. Five is a big helper, and it looks like you need a lot of help around here. (he says as he looks around…hey, he’s not wrong.)

*Just as I typed the last sentence, the computer decided to no longer be connected to the internet (something it decides to do more often then it decides to connect)… and my children were left alone with my laptop while skyping with their cousin (*cough* hubbyman *cough*), and knocked it off the desk or did who knows what to it, so that now the screen lights up an array of beautiful colors, but that is it. (Sad face) When hubbyman got me the computer, he had enough presence of mind to buy the extra warranty, so this week we’ll be bringing it back (it’s only 6monthsish old) and hopefully we will come home with a new, working laptop. And then I can get back to blogging. In the meantime, I’ve been deep cleaning all of the bedrooms, and more. Today, well, this week, it will be the office area. Which means the filing. Deciding which papers can be tossed, shred, or kept for forever never to be looked at again. I also have Biggest’s birthday party to plan this weekend. One I thought we weren’t going to have (after setting a date up, hubbyman decided he didn’t want to do it… but grandparents vetoed and we’re back on!). Needless to say, I have lots of planning going on! Hopefully, the internet fairies will be on my side and I’ll still be able to do some posting in the next couple of days (I’m going to want to share all the fun things for his birthday party… I love kid birthday parties!) ! Until then, I’m going to share this with you. I tried to print out just a couple of them, but the printer decided I needed 5, so this will probably be posted all over the house (I’d planned for the fridge, bathroom, and bedroom, but maybe I’ll post it on their doors as well!)… it’s terrific! And I think even the best mothers can use the reminder to parent with purpose every day, and I think this will do that. Check it out!

(clicking on the picture will bring you to the page! be sure to go check it out and print out a copy for yourself!)

Family Life According To Me Marriage Things Kids Say

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On This Day (I Thee Birthed)

by motherofwonder

I had been having inconsistent contractions for a month. My mom had flown in to join us as we awaited our little man, unknowing it would be weeks of waiting. I had to sit in a very awkward position just to breathe, as his little legs were jammed up in my ribs. I went in for a baby check and my dr. wanted to induce in a couple days. Fluid levels and everything looked fine. I even packed my bags and headed to the hospital a few days later for the induction. I never had a sense of “this is the day my baby will be born,” but I probably had just always imagined being in labor when I came to that conclusion. After being checked and hearing a brief summarization of what their plan was… I packed up my bags and went back home. I was told they’d “give me” another week but no more. (To which I stubbornly stick out my tongue and say pbbthhhh.) And it didn’t matter. A couple days later, after a full day of walking the beaches, picking up shells, and doing some shopping along one of the cutest little seaside towns you’ve ever seen…I had regular contractions. In fact, I sat down while my mom and hubbyman browsed in the final shop of the day. This was 9 days after my due date, they both had pretty much given up on the idea I’d ever have this baby, but I just knew this was the start of the path that would lead me to my baby.

the "bump" is him sticking his little booty out

Almost 24 hours later, he arrived. And life has never been the same. And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

My dearest firstborn,

I love you. I love the way your eyes dance when you laugh. The way you furrow your brow when you’re trying really hard or trying to figure something out. I love the way you give hugs- especially your bear hugs. Even if I don’t always appreciate that they knock me over. I love the way you talk to your siblings, at least most of the time. Besides, who else would show them to tell them how to be an animal that jumps like a frog, roars like a lion, and whimpers like a puppy? Or how to scale furniture and then leap off? Who would show them how to make the biggest fort? Or teach them not to be afraid of the dark, because you think the dark is fun. Or how to say your prayers. How to use your manners, how to brush your teeth. The things you are teaching your siblings whether intentionally or through example, is amazing, and we are thankful for it. Almost all the time. I am thankful for YOU all the time. Your sweet spirit, your love, your cuddles, and even your sense of adventure. I am so proud to be your mama.

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Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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The Boy That Named Me Mommy

by motherofwonder

Tomorrow, my biggest boy, my oldest child, my Big E will be turning 5. There has been so much fit into such a tiny time space, so much that it has flown by in the blink of an eye. Just another thing you can add to the “Things My Parents Were Right About” file. It does go by in the blink of an eye. His pregnancy felt like it took forever, while we were waiting his arrival (thank you hyperemesis gravidarum for months spent on the bathroom floor and ER rooms). Once he was in arms, it was as if the pregnancy had flown right by. Before I knew it he was crawling, then walking, talking, climbing, destroying (he was formerly known as The Master of Disaster). And here I sit, five very short years later.

Here are some of my favorite things about the boy who turned me into a mother:

He loooves Chinese food. He refers to sweet & sour chicken as “the chicken I like.” In fact, his favorite restaurant is also my favorite. (Score one for mommy!)
He looooves his siblings. He and MissE always climb into bed with me first thing in the morning. (Littlest is already next to me at that point.) And he always says, Can I watch Littlest while you get ready? And while they may fight like brother and sister, they are well on their way to growing up to becoming much like my brothers & I are- best friends.
He is a fantastic helper. He was just 18 months old when Miss E was born, and while looking back we feel badly that we missed (and he too, for that matter) the end of his “babyness” and overnight he turned into a little boy, helping to fetch diapers, and throw away dirty ones. He now takes the cups off the table and puts them in the fridge to “save” their drinks for later. And I have never once asked him to do this, he just does. And he gets them out too. He puts away the “kid dishes” (they have their own drawer within reach to set the table and put them away.) when they’re clean, and gets them out when it’s time to eat. And he’s frequently found in his brother’s cross-hairs for not letting him get into something (like the toilet) when he wants to. He also is the one who lets the dog out first thing in the morning.
He loves learning. Whenever we get his school things out, he is excited and willing. And he catches on quick. It’s amazing to watch him learn to write and grow into someone who’s thinking about why things are the way they are.
He is a feeler. Out of all 3 of our kids, his temperament is the closest to my own. He does not like it when you are upset, especially with him. And he is quick to notice if someone is not talking to him, or even looking at him, in a way that promotes smiles and laughter. And his attitude generally corresponds those he’s interacting with. If you’re happy, he’s happy. If you’re cranky, he’s cranky.
He is a snuggler. He’s good about bed time, although he needs a long wind down period. But if he had it his way, he’d just cuddle his way to sleep. Just last night I heard him whispering for his sister, when everyone else in the house was asleep- long past his own bedtime. I went in and he was just laying there and simply asked, could we cuddle just for a few minutes. I laid down, and he promptly rolled over, threw his hands around my neck, gave me a kiss, and said I love you, Mommy. Goodnight. And then rolled over and went to sleep. (This is another area we are similar. I want a quick snuggle and reassurance before sleep, and then roll over to my own space.)
He has a huge, vivid imagination. We often joke that he is a one kid zoo, because you can never be sure what animal he’ll be at any given moment. He can make up the most interesting stories. (My brother stopped by for a visit during Christmas time and was pulled aside to tell him a “secret” story that included Santa, a dragon, and things turning into bacon and being eaten. I only wish I could remember the details. It was hilarious and so imaginative that when recounted to one of my other brothers, he thought for sure we’d made it up instead of the boy.)
While he wants a birthday party (and I’m not sure we’ve settled on an outcome of that), what he really wants for his birthday is for hubbyman and I to take him (and only him) to a movie. So tomorrow we are packing the kids up, dropping Miss E and Littlest off with their Tia (Auntie), and taking him to the place with the chicken he likes and a movie. I think hubbyman and I are equally as excited about this. Or at least I am. While hubbyman and I frequently rotate taking kids on errands disguised as dates (they don’t care where we go as long as it’s one-on-one), I cannot remember the last time we did anything with JUST our biggest boy. Littlest gets those times when the bigger ones go on “dates” with Uncles, or Grandparents, and sometimes we have just Miss E and littlest, because the Big Boy is always up for going and doing something, and is always fine with doing an overnight (in fact, when we go to hubbyman’s parents’ home, he’s disappointed when he finds out that we’re staying too.).

Hubbyman had a “boys’ night” this weekend, and I found myself thinking that it’s so strange to think about the lifetime ago that 5 years was. I wasn’t a mom yet. My idea of a fun Saturday night did not involve playing numerous games of Madagascar or Sesame Street on the wii, nor did it involve strange editions of candy land followed by movies of the cartoon persuasion. But there I sat, after a night of just me and the kids, playing games, laughing, and loving. And thinking about what a great night it was.

the day before he was born we walked the beach, picking shells

5 years ago, I was 41+ weeks pregnant, thinking about how my back hurt beyond belief, my ribs were bruised from the inside, and that the little boy inside me was never going to come out. 5 years ago, I had no idea how my world would be flipped upside down, or that my eyes would see everything in a different light. Just goes to show you the difference one day can make. I had no idea that 24 hours later I would be holding the sweet, perfect little person who not only made me a mother, but taught me how to be Mommy. And to love ~~almost~~ every second of it.

the day before Big E was born

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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I Make Donuts. Call Me WonderMom.

by motherofwonder

So…. I’m pretty behind in posts in general, I know. And food posts, I’m sure I’m behind by like a month. Whoops. I have another confession- this is not going to be one either. Well, not completely. Even though I haven’t been doing posts about food, we still have been cooking, and even eating. Shocking, right? Really, there’s been lots of foodie stuff going on here… for Christmas I got a pasta extruder (you have no idea how happy this made me!).

I’ve made lots of yummy pastas, some new pasta sauces (including a pink garlic sauce- so good), sugar cookie cut outs galore, and donuts. I bought a specialty cookbook (for gluten free) specifically because it had a donut recipe in it. And I’ve been looking longingly at the donut making machines over the holidays… and then, during some post-holiday shopping, I found a set that had two donut trays. One for your regular circle donuts, and one for long john style donuts!! I was practically giddy. Ok, there’s no practically, I was giddy. You see, January marks one year of us being gluten free. It feels like it’s been much longer, but a year it’s definitely been. And we have come a long way since those first weeks. We were given a lot of discouraging advice, encouraging advice, and a lot of mixed signals. Thankfully, we were able to weed out the good and the bad and trudge on through. We did have some things going for us already. We already ate little to no processed foods, and I was already making/cooking most things… so I ordered some all-purpose GF flour on-line (because you can get it WAY cheaper and in bigger quantities) and just kept on cooking as usual. I really lucked out. This all-purpose mix is still by far my favorite. We thought it might be a fluke that the first brand we tried was so awesome, but I have not been impressed with any other brand we’ve tried. While we still have our areas that we could improve upon (I need to make and freeze more pasta sheets on a regular basis, so they’re always available in a pinch. I also need to get back into making bread on a regular basis.), but we have certainly come a long way. We now know so much more about the little changes we can make to keep gluten out of the house and home and tummies. We have found new family favorites and ventured into foods we never otherwise would have. Plus, we feel better! We made “Mexican pizzas” (tostadas), we have sandwiches made out of waffles (the kids’ absolute favorite), we make our own pasta, we make our own sauces, we double our recipes so that we can freeze half for an easy/quick meal another night, and we do lots of experiments!

You know what the best part is? Knowing that one year ago, we were trying everything we could think of to help our sweet little girl. Who had awful tummy issues from midnight exorcism-style vomiting, to much less pleasant potty issues that I’ll save you from the details, to hives attacking her face with each and every meal. We’d gone a year trying to figure out what was causing the hives, we’d thrown out processed foods, stayed away from anything with preservatives or food coloring, gave up tomatoes and anything with citric acid… to no avail. In fact, her hives were getting worse. They were no longer just showing up around her mouth with a meal, they were staying on her sweet little face all the time, and spreading to her neck with meals. Now I know there is some controversy in the needing to be tested. But in order to do that she’d have to continue eating gluten for 2 solid months and then undergo a big-deal time of invasion to her body, which is is teeny-tiny. And the test often comes out with a false negative. Yeah, I’m not down for that. Especially, when after being gluten free for only a month, her hives went away. And they haven’t been back. And we’ve been able to add back in some of the foods that we avoided previously. Like tomatoes. Hello, ketchup! She was so excited to be able to have the ketchup that her brother shovels onto just about every food. (Except rice, because apparently that’s gross. But ketchup and anything else is totally acceptable. And I mean anything else.) Really, to me, my daughter feeling better (you know it’s a big deal when you could tell a 3 year old that she can’t have the cookie being offered because it’s one that will make her tummy hurt, and she just says, so what can I have? without getting upset at all. Or when offered something she’ll ask, will this make my tummy hurt? She feels that much better, and that’s sayin’ something.) And the diet change has caused us to look more closely into the things we’re eating and to become more intentional with the things we eat along with where they come from. Plus, now I make my own donuts. My life is now complete.

See that, a real, homemade (by me!) donut... Gluten free, and it's vegan too!

Family Gluten Free Impressively Simple Life According To Me Things Kids Say

A Good Tired

by motherofwonder

I had lots of plans for cleaning on Saturday, but the day came and went with only the bare minimum attended to. But we enjoyed a surprise visit from my parents (they were on the anniversary date that happened to include dinner in our area and couldn’t resist a quick visit with the grandkids!), lots of playtime and snuggles. This afternoon however, I got to it. And once I started the organizational process, I couldn’t stop myself! I started cleaning my bedroom (yes, dear, *our* bedroom) and ended up cleaning out and reorganizing our closet, cleaning out and organizing our storage space under the stairs, reorganizing the hall closet, and while those may not sound like huge feats, trust me when I say This was a huge feat. 2 goodwill bags, 2 trash bags, 3 bags of baby clothes intended for 3 different families, and it is such a good feeling! Oh, and I reorganized my gift wrapping box (it’s huge, I have everything). And I organized and put away all my sewing and crafting things. I’m pretty pleased with the way things turned out. Our storage space is usable and accessible, our closet is neat and orderly (and there are places for things and things in their places), and I have a laundry basket in our hall closet (linen closet) with hopes of dirty clothes no longer piling up on the bathroom floor. Have I ever mentioned I love organization and organizing? I do. I love finding ways to make things more efficient and simple. Love it.

The best part of all? I found my mother’s necklace (one of those ones that has the kids’ birthstones in it)!! I wanted to have Littlest’s added for Mother’s Day and have been searching (and I mean searching) since a week or so prior to Mother’s Day (you know, back in May). I thought I found the chain it was on in one of the kids’ bedrooms and was heartsick thinking that they must’ve gotten ahold of it, and that it was lost forever. I was so relieved I almost cried! In fact, I’m a little surprised I didn’t. I probably would have it I wasn’t so hopped up on organization.

I still have a full day ahead of me tomorrow (you know how sometimes on the way to clean things become messier?), but for now I am just pleased with the results so far. On that note, anyone want to entertain three little ~~monsters~~ sweethearts while I enjoy my organizing? I will pay you in organization. You name the room and I will organize it.

*Littlest is 18 months today! (*I admit it, I’m writing at midnight this ahead of time and setting it to post tomorrow morning, but it’s just after midnight, so technically I wrote this “today.”*) How on earth did that happen?! I’m pretty sure that yesterday I was just taking Biggest home from the Naval hospital. (Though those feelings may have been a bit of nostalgia due to going through all the baby clothes and preparing to say goodbye to the last of the baby clothes and toys! But seriously, time goes by so fast!) Hold them close, laugh with them often, and teach them the importance of organization and organizational skills.

(I know I’ve used this photo before, but I just don’t care! And seeing how I listened to a good 20 minutes of my children telling me about how far away they intend to live – Ireland!- it seems fitting)