Family | laborofwonder

The Importance of Being Unimportant

by motherofwonder

I recently read a facebook status of a fellow SAHM (stay at home mom), talking about the fight to remember what you’re doing actually is important, even when it feels like nothing you do really matters. I totally relate. Don’t worry, this doesn’t just apply to in-house-mamas, this is applicable for all walks of life. Don’t we all fall into ruts where we wonder if anyone would really notice if we just stopped showing up? Stopped doing the work? Stopped trying? Admit it. We’ve all had something like that roll across our minds at least once. Sometimes once a day. I’m not saying that all moms, or all people for that matter, feel this way indefinitely, but let’s be really honest– we are a people in constant need of validation and therefore feel that way at least every once in a blue moon.

I certainly get that way, where I feel invisible. Where I wonder what would happen if I stopped doing the dishes, the laundry, or even (*gasp*) cooking! And, honestly, sometimes I will let things slide, just kind of to see what happens… but that only creates more work, and a less-than-happy work environment. (Which would probably be the case for anyone in any job, if you started letting your normal day-to-day slide.) That’s not to say we don’t all deserve a break, because sometimes we need one. There’s just this feeling of no one knows just how much I do, or just how busy I really am. Someone once said, “You’re so lucky you can just eat anything you want.” Well, we really eat pretty healthy, and practice portion control, but also… I am always on the move! I have three children 4 and under! I don’t really have time to lay around!! It made me think of the old cliche, “I am a stay at home mom, therefore I lay around eating bon bons all day.” I think that anyone with children can agree that is not a possibility! First of all because your kids would be getting into major trouble if you were just laying around unaware of their goings-on, and secondly, if you keep bon bons in the house, the kids will have sniffed them out and eaten them while you were laying around, so you’d go to the box and it’d be empty.

Yes, there is pride in a job well done. At home, at work, or at play. There is satisfaction in knowing that I am the one raising my children, that I am the one witnessing all their firsts, that I am the one they come running to no matter who else is available, because Mommy has always been the one that has been there to take care of them. There is also validation in hearing friends and family say that when they have kids, they’re just going to send them to live with me. Because they know I love it, I enjoy it, and I work hard to raise them as best as I can. I really do strive to raise children who thrived because of their upbringing instead of just having survived it. But it’s a lot of work, and you don’t always see the affects until years down the road. At least not the full affect. So the little-in-the-moment-times can make you feel like it’s unimportant. (Maybe it’s that way in your job as well. Maybe you are responsible for an inch of a mile long project. But what would that mile be, without that one inch?) As a stay at home mom it can even feel as though you’re not making a “real” contribution to society. But in the end, what better contribution could I ever give, than a generation of thoughtful, caring, concerned, responsible, respectful, respectable, level headed (or as much as they can be- they are my children!) adults who will be leading the future?? That sounds pretty important to me.

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not." Dr. Seuss in the book The Lorax

Family Life According To Me

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WAAH!!

by motherofwonder

My Oldest E witnessed his mama shedding a few tears yesterday and it really upset him. He told me, “Knock it off. Mommies don’t cry. Only babies do.” Which of course really makes me want to cry even more, because where is that coming from?! I wouldn’t say that to him! Right now there are just some things going on in the lives of people I love that is leaving my heart in chaos. By nature I am a caretaker. While I know we all have choices and blah-blah-blah…but it is who I am. Forcing myself to not be a caretaker or mother hen, that just doesn’t feel natural to me. When you mix my caretaker attitude with my overly empathetic heart… you get tears. I am someone that cannot help but feel what you’re feeling. If I love you, your hurts become my heart’s hurts. That’s just the way I am. It’s a good quality to have a in a friend, but sometimes I have a hard time retaining my balance while working my way through other people’s problems, without making them my own. It’s a strange contradiction.

I will give you everything I have, but I have a very hard time asking for help when I need it. And there are days when I really need it. For reasons both big and small, whether it’s because i was up all night with a teething baby and am having a hard time showing patience with my children who did get a full night of sleep, or something is going on or has happened within my family that has left me with a heart that is aching… but I tend to internalize and leave my needs out. Not only is this not fair to myself (Because it’s not! And really aren’t we all deserving of some care?), but it’s also not fair to my husband who I usually end up dumping on when I can’t take anymore (even though he offers to listen or help along the way, I just can’t accept it until I’m in meltdown mode). Or my sweet babies who wake up with so many hugs and kisses in the morning that I have to pry them off of me, usually with an eye roll and a sigh because I’m more invested in whatever else is going on than in the fact that in a few years from now, they will be the ones prying me off with an eye roll and a sigh.

This morning I feel like I’m so far down my rope that I’m hanging on to threads. So I’m doing what I should always do, for my family and my friends’ sake as much as my own- I’m owning it. I’m acknowledged that today, I am struggling. And today, I will take the help that I am offered. The kind words, the hugs, the prayers, the glass of wine… I need it, and I’ll take it!I’m admitting that I do not have it all together and today I cannot even attempt to pretend that I do.

But maybe, the strength I’ll gain from leaning on those that love me, will be enough that when they are in my shoes, I can give them that support back. Whether it’s one really big thing or a million little things that maybe seemed inconsequential at the time- whatever reason it is, if you feel like you are at the end of your rope- reach out, because it’s very likely someone next to you has a much longer rope.

A squishy little ball of feel-better-ness

Family Life According To Me

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This Is My Confession The Remix

by motherofwonder

I can’t even say “this is my confession…” without instantly hearing the Usher song in my head. But this really isn’t that kind of confession. Not a, I did this horrible thing and now my life is over kind of confession, anyhow. Just a: this is my life. My real life. I’m not sugar coating things to make myself sound better, or wiser, or funnier… it’s the long and the short of it. This is my life as I feel it.

There is a lot of pressure in relationships (of all kinds- parenthood, marriage, friendships, work) for perfection, and as it turns out, I am not perfect. (*insert collective gasp here*) I make mistakes. (I know right?! I find it both shocking and appalling as well. Feel free to insert another gasp here.) But I am aware of my imperfections, my mistakes, my less-than-ness. At least most of the time. That said, sometimes I hold people in my life to a higher standard than I do myself. I accept that I am going to fall short (I don’t like that quality, but on most levels, I do accept it.), but somehow I have the tendency to believe that those I surround myself with, should try harder, do more, invest more, and toe the line…possibly more than I do. Even in typing this, I don’t like it. I don’t want to admit it. And I don’t want to be that way. I especially don’t want to admit it out loud, you know, where I can be quoted on it. But there you have it.

Hubbyman had a revelation of sorts this last week. He took a very long road trip with one of our dearly loved friends. Therefore he had more time than usual to process and talk. Probably more time than in the last 5 years. (And by probably, I mean definitely since this was the longest we’d been separated since military days.) This last week he has put forth a lot of effort to make sure I was feeling appreciated, and more than that, that I was feeling taken care of. The first day I was convinced he was in trouble for something, or was paving his way before getting into some trouble. Not because he’s proven that to be true previously, but because he doesn’t always live up to my expectations. I do not mean this disrespectfully or as an implication that he is not an amazing father, husband, and provider- because he definitely is all of those things. What I mean is that sometimes I have expectations for him that he cannot fulfill. They are often unfair, and occasionally unreasonable. But there I’ve said it. Just like he sometimes is less than appreciative of the state of the house, despite how many hours I spend on a daily basis trying to keep it from looking like a hurricane went through it… sometimes I am underwhelmed at how much housework he gets done, or helps with, after he gets home from a long day of work. We all have our downfalls. I by no means am saying that we should no longer expect the best out of each other, or to lower the bar… but when do we start being realistic with each other? Can we know that we’re imperfect, with some acknowledgment that we’re trying out hardest to do our best within our imperfect capabilities? Doesn’t that count for something?

So here is my ultimate confession: Sometimes I have unrealistic expectations for my hubbyman and fail to acknowledge all the things he does do, or give him credit when he does go above and beyond the normal wear and tear of the day. Unfortunately, I don’t limit this to my husband, it’s also with my kids (It’s crazy how sometimes I can have the expectation for my CHILDREN to behave like anything other than CHILDREN.), my parents, brothers, sisters (yes, they’re in-law, but they’re still sisters), and even my friends. (Apparently it’s unreasonable for me to expect them to foresee all my needs and accommodate them. Weird.) So ladies and gentlemen, tell someone in your life who maybe you feel like isn’t pulling their weight (in your home, in your family, in your relationship/friendship, church… and I mean pulling their weight emotionally and time-wise, as much as I do actual work) that you are thankful for all the things that they actually do. Be grateful for the times when they do go above and beyond the call of duty. And then go one step further (c’mon, I dare you!), you go above and beyond for them. Whether it’s bringing home flowers for the first time in a year (or more), or you make a favorite meal and clean up the dishes afterwards, or even just sitting and listening- without rolling your eyes or acting annoyed (no matter what the topic!). Sometimes it’s the little things that can make the biggest difference. Yesterday, my husband did the dishes three times. Once when he got home from work, once after dinner (that HE made), and once right before bed. Did I mention that he also made dinner?! And he also got out, thawed a little, and served me some of my wine slushie! Does it get better than that? Hardly.

I expected them to not want to go down the aisle...I did not expect them to fight for the rights to throwing the flowers all down the aisle. It ended in MissE dumping her basket rather than continuing to have to share in the flower throwing duties with her brother

Family Life According To Me Marriage

You Do The Same

by motherofwonder

Today I woke up tired…multiple cups of coffee tired. While I probably won’t drown myself in coffee, I’ll probably remain tired. I don’t know if it was just the knowledge of how far away hubbyman is or what, but I woke up like every 45 minutes throughout the night. So you would think that I would have woken up on the crankier side of the bed, but somehow that didn’t happen. Actually, my children slept in and are in high spirits, and it’s hilarious. Littlest E is in his high chair doing his signature move, which is where he puckers his lips and then sticks them way out. And then when I make that face back to him he laughs hysterically, because obviously it’s the funniest thing he’s ever seen. And my normally high spirited MissE, is in rare form herself. She’s being silly and giggley, and until I started typing this was playing sweetly with her big brother. Who spent the early part of this morning snuggling and telling me how I was his favorite woman ever. And currently he’s singing a song about he’s going to eat all the peaches and oranges in this town. (Can you guess what he had for breakfast?) While Littlest E has more oranges the pocket of his bib than in his belly. He’s happy just with the moves he can make with his lips, and clapping in sheer joy of his facial movement success. While their have been brief moments of upheaval, I am choosing that today is going to be a good day and I’m going to continue acting like they’re the best versions of themselves, because ultimately, they are. Plus, the studio called and our family pictures are in!

So this is short and sweet because yesterday was kind of the day from hell. I was in a rush trying to clean the house before guests came, and disaster basically ensued until hubbyman got home. Thankfully he’s used to my version of crazy, and knows how to bring me back to reality. At least most of the time. And so today, I am basking in the glow of choosing that today is going to be a terrific day. And I suggest you do the same. It’s amazing the things you CAN choose.

Family Life According To Me

My Wish For You

by motherofwonder

While we are normally in the land of the cold and the frozen… two days ago we endured a 103 degree day, with lots of wind and humidity. Here I sit today, two days later in my boot slippers, sweatpants, and a sweatshirt. And I’m not hot. Granted, it will assuredly be warmer by the end of the day, but for now… sometimes I think the weather here is something of a joke God’s playing on all of us that have chosen to continue to live here through the cold, cold of the winter to the hot, hot summers.

Today while I’m trying to get things cleaned up before a)out of town company comes; b) hubby leaves for his trip (let’s face it, life won’t get easier when he’s gone!); and c) I leave for a quick getaway (because there’s nothing worse than coming home to a mess)…oh I was saying, today, while trying to get things cleaned up quickly, I’m being followed. And it’s making really weird noises. Ok, so it’s Littlest E, and it’s kissing noises he’s making. Every time I turn around and look at him, he gives me his big toothy grin, followed by his screech of a laugh! It’s adorable and oh so distracting. I mean, seriously, how am I supposed to not give him a kiss when he’s chasing me making kissing noises?! He’s also just learned to shake his head (as in like you would do if you were telling me no)… and now likes to do that anytime anyone says anything. I’m thinking his siblings may have given him the “head shake” a time or two… anyways, see what I mean about distracting? Just talking about him is distracting! (*chuckle* he’s so cute) So let me get back to where I was, or at least where I meant to be heading with this all… Littlest E will be 1 year in less than a month! (*sob*) and I cannot get over just how fast it went by!! I think the more children you have, the fast the littlest’s first year goes. I haven’t done any formal research on the subject, it’s just my humble opinion. So as I think about the last year and how fast it went it had me thinking about things I wish for him in the future. Things I wish for all of my children as they learn and grow and (*gasp*) become their own individuals, outside their relationship with me. So here is my quick list of ten things that I hope (and hopefully am doing more to make them reality than just hoping!!) for their lives:

1. I hope they are always willing to learn. Big things and small things alike. Learn. From me, because of me, and probably sometimes in spite of me.

2. I hope they learn the difference in doing something because it feels right and doing something because they know it is right.

3. I hope they always know that the unique, wonderful individuals they are…are exactly the wonderful, unique individuals they were created to be. Hopefully in less time than it took me to figure that out.

4. I hope they learn the value of laughter. It’s healing, it’s bonding, it’s life affirmations. Not just making others laugh (which I know they already know to do), but being able to laugh themselves. In hard times as well as good times.

5. I hope they always remember the adage of “You cannot change others, you can only change yourselves.” Even if they grow to dislike it out of annoyance as they grow, the way I may or may not have felt…before passing it on to my own children.

6. I hope they always know that God is bigger. (I should not ask God if He knows how big my storm is. I should be asking the storm if he knows how big my God is. -paraphrased because I can’t remember it exactly)

7. I hope they always feel beautiful but that they know that’s not where the real beauty and value lies; for themselves or for others.

8. I hope they grow knowing that their ideas are valuable and pertinent. And always worth exploring.

9. I hope they grow knowing and believing the importance of family and community. How to live in one, and be a part of one, successfully.

10. And I can’t help but add this, and mean it whole-heartedly… I hope they always love their mama. I hope that I have raised them in a way where they know that not only can they depend on me, but they want to.

11. Ok, I know I said 10, but I just wanted to add this in- That their dreams stay big and their worries stay small. And that they’ve enough of their father’s type A, can do personality that they can put it into action. With maybe some of my optimism thrown in.

*I also hope I’ll be able to handle it when I’m not their favorite person, when I’m not the one they choose to share their secrets with anymore… because right now, that sounds pretty devastating to me. Maybe at that point we’ll be ready to talk about foster care or adoption. That way I’ll always have at least one person in the house that likes me! Oh, I guess i’ll still have hubbyman… !! (*wink*)

Family Life According To Me

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Survival of the Fittest

by motherofwonder

Yesterday was about a million degrees. Ok, not a million, but 102. Seriously. 102. And I live in what’s normally the frozen tundra! Thankfully, we have family that lives fairly nearby with a nice, big pool! What a reprieve! (At least until our state bird came out… the mosquito.) As much as we were needing a reprieve from the heat, lately I’ve been feeling like I need a bit of a reprieve from life! It’s just been so hectic and crazy! And with the upheaval of their normal schedule, it has also left my children behaving a little less than their normal sweet, compliant selves. Although, of course, as I write this, they are sitting next to each other, all three in a row. Just playin’ trains, with an occasional “Hey Mom, do you see me playing with the ‘big kids’?” giggle and jump from the littlest E.

sidenote: Sometimes I believe children have this need to make a liar out of their parents. Anytime you vocalize how sweet, polite, quiet, shy, loud, whatever… they are, they’ll do the opposite- publicly. (I don’t really believe they do this purposely to make a liar out of me, it’s just a happy coincidence on their part, I’m sure. haha!)

With lots of layers of various chaos going on around us, someone asked how we’re holding it together. I had no answer. Before drifting off to sleep, I told hubbyman that I was going to miss him while he was gone on his trip, and he responded with, “I’ll miss you too. I already miss you.” Which I, of course, thought he was saying as a joke, because my husband is so excited about this trip you’d think he was 18 and about to experience his first taste of freedom without parental control. That excited. It turns out he meant it. We’ve basically just kind of existing together the last month or two. We were in survival mode. We are in survival mode.

Anytime you’re in “survival mode” for too long, without reprieve, disaster usually ensues. So this weekend we get vacations from our lives. Ok, so he really gets an adventure (which is exactly what he needs), and I get some relaxation (which is exactly what I need, along with some retail therapy!). Even the kids are getting vacations, of sorts. The Bigger E’s will spend the weekend at their Grandparents, along with an uncle or two. And Littlest E is going with on the girls’ weekend, so he will be getting one-on-one attention that he doesn’t get a whole lot of.

Which brings me to the REAL survival tool: FAMILY. Obviously, immediate family plays a huge role in our lives. We are so blessed by them: From the great-great Grandma, to the Great Grandparents, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins… and everyone in between. We are thankful for all of them, and survive because of them. If you’re thinking, you don’t know my family, or you live far from them, or just want to be far from them… it’s not just about people you’re related to. We have a large group of people that we have CHOSEN to be family with. This doesn’t just apply to people with children, most of these were family to us before we even had children. it’s not about your relationship status, or how many (if any) children you have; it’s about love and support. It’s friends that have been there through a decade, or two. Friends that were our family when we were far from home. Friends that have seen us through, the ones we can depend on, the ones who puppy sit, the ones who insist on going out when they know it’s been a while since we’ve had any time away from the kids, friends who make plans and include us- as a family, 3 kids and all. These are friends that have become our family. Friendships that are so important to us, and beloved by us, as well as by our children.

For our family, it’s the combination of the two that really ensure our ability to survive. No, maybe that’s not entirely true. We would probably survive without them, but with them, and with all their support, love, and encouragement, we are able to thrive. As a family as well as individually.

It’s a good thing I have this support system, because otherwise, I might just lose it. I remembered putting the kid’s cups of milk in the fridge last night, so when I went to get them this morning….I’d gotten clean cups out of the cupboard and put them in the fridge. Without milk. And left the cups that had milk in them on the counter. I also spent a good 20 minutes looking for the puppy, because I’d forgotten I’d already let him out, and he was sleeping on the floor next to my bed. Ok, so it may have been more like 5-10 minutes, but I was in such a panic thinking I’d left him outside, that it felt like much longer! And those were just the first two things I did this morning. I’m sure I’ve had moments of “mommy brain” since… but I can’t remember. Wait…where are the kids?

Doesn’t it look like we all need a break?!

Family Life According To Me

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YOU Are Not My Judge

by motherofwonder

Last night I attended the memorial of my cousin, a man who for the last decade had spent most of his moments ministering to everyone he met. His favorite ministry was in jails, as he’d been a troubled teen who’d been there. Unfortunately, the last months of his life were in unwind. Things that had previously been of the highest importance, no longer were being prioritized. I don’t know what happened or why, but I am sad for an end that didn’t have to be. He was someone that was a little bigger than life, in personality. And in those ten years he changed people, you could see it in all the faces of those at his service, in their tears, as well as their stories shared. Growing up, I think that he was someone that people maybe tossed aside, deemed as too troubled, too wild, or just plain disposable. He was wild, uncontrollable, unreliable, a father at 16, and he bounced around homes… Fast forward to him being 20 and finding people that no longer felt he was disposable, who saw what and who he could be. And he thrived.

What it had me thinking about this morning is something that I’ve talked about before, it’s the way we judge others. How different would the very people we tend to judge be, if we were to stop judging them and just start supporting them. I am not saying you let everyone (or anyone!) take advantage of you, and I’m not even speaking financial support…just support. That the next time you saw someone or came across someone that to you seems out of control or doing or saying or living in a way that is maybe unhealthy… just be nice! And not just those that are visibly unhealthy! What if you gave the next stranger on the street that accidentally bumped into you and didn’t apologize, or say excuse me, a smile and meant it. The point is, we don’t know everyone’s story, where they’ve gone and where they’re going… and it’s not ours to judge.

After all, haven’t we all been judged before? Unfairly, unreasonably, and hurtfully? Don’t we all have one place or one time where we knew we were judged? (Please tell me it’s not just me!) I can recall vividly the way it felt when I was going through something a lot of people in my life didn’t understand. I had left a relationship and a college that I knew were not what I needed, even though everyone around me seemed to feel decidedly different. I even received a letter from a woman, who really didn’t know me or anything about me, telling me how because I wasn’t getting married, and I wasn’t in school that I wasn’t following God’s will, or His plan for my life. It was followed by lots of advice and direction from people in my life, telling me what I should do next, where I should go, how to get back onto my path… the funny thing was, I never thought I was lost. I always knew that this was the road I had to take, and it would lead me to where I was supposed to be.

It’s not the same as my cousin’s life and I am by no means saying it is, it was just my jumping off point and what I’d been thinking about that lead me here… Anyhow, as it turns out, I was right, the road I’d been on was not the one for me, and I knew I had to take a side-street to get me to my true destination, my true path…the one God meant for me. And that’s the one I’m on now. The one where I’m married to someone who respects me and treats me with respect, the one where we have three beautiful children, the one where I’ve found my place. I am on my road.

And maybe the person next to you that is doing something that you don’t agree with, or maybe it just annoys you, and you really want to reach out and smack them on the back of the head… maybe instead you reach out and give them a handshake, a hug, a cup of coffee, or simply a smile. Maybe your not judging them for things that are not within your control anyways, will be what it takes for them to pass it on to someone else. Some roads are unhealthy (like when my cousin was young) and some are just misunderstood (like mine) but judging and pointing fingers are not the answer. Can you imagine all the self-validation if we spent more time building each other up, the way we should be doing instead of tearing them down so we feel better, or look better, in comparison?

Rest In Peace

Family Life According To Me

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These Are The Days

by motherofwonder

So this is, what I believe, the “whirlwind month” of the year… at least until the winter-time holidays happen. 2 weeks ago was Easter, followed by a week of my brother-in-law staying with us, followed by a 2 day reprieve, followed by a week with my brother-in-law, his wife and son, all staying with us, followed by a mini vacation with the whole in-law family… followed by extreme exhaustion! But there’s no rest for the wicked- my side of the family is coming into town this week, for my brother’s wedding this weekend. Throw in a computer crash, an internet shut down, and kids with fevers and runny noses… let’s just say that today is the first real quiet day we’ve had in a long time and the kids are spending most of it in my lap or quietly playing nearby, and I’m totally ok with it.

While the busyness and the overnight guests have left me a little frayed, we have certainly had a good time. We have had late night dance parties, Uno games, and lots of Thomas the Train movie marathons. And yes, a few glasses of wine! My nephew (our only!) is the same age as Biggest E and they are best friends. It is so fun to watch them playing together. Not quite so fun to watch them turning it into a “boy’s club” that Miss E is not allowed in, because of her unfortunate gender. But 4-year-old boys will be 4-year-old boys. And I am happy to announce that today the biggest brother is happily playing with his sister, with no mention of her being “just a girl.” This last week, with my sister-in-law, I feel like I got a taste of what it would have been like to have grown up with a sister (I grew up with 3 brothers and no sisters)… we have had lots of long conversations, dish washing, dancing, and maybe some hair pulling and fighting. Mostly in fun. (*If you knew her you would totally be giggling along with me thinking of all the fun we’ve had. She’s tricky, that girl!)

We’ve had so many late nights, with early mornings that by last night, hubbyman and I were thoroughly exhausted. And the kids were too. Even the puppy was tired after his overnight/playdate while we were out-of-town. After doing a few odd jobs around the house, we all crashed on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn and some Donkey Kong on the Wii (our kids actually enjoy watching us play- they like the monkeys). All-in-all, it was a WONDERFUL Mother’s Day. A hotel overnight (that had a huge playland for kids, lots of pools, and lots of fun), a Mother’s Day Brunch, a car ride home with the 2 youngest sleeping while the oldest serenaded us (for an hour), a yummy dinner (made entirely of reheated leftovers), an uninterrupted bath, and a banner filled with kids’ colorings and handprints that is better than any store-bought card! And as a Mother’s Day gift I’ll be adding littlest E’s birthstone to my mother’s necklace! I’m calling it a success! And my brother-in-law was kind enough to leave me his laptop so that I could attempt and actually do some blogging this week, and the internet is working again so hopefully the stars are lined up!

In honor of Mother’s Day, my children who made me a mother, my wonderful mother and mother-in-law… I am making a list of some of the best things about being a mom… or at least some of my favorite things.

You now have a legitimate excuse to nap!
A life-size doll you can dress any way you’d like… at least until they are old enough to take them off and redress themselves. This may be why my oldest has an affinity for ties and my daughter is already picky about her shoes.
You can make macaroni (or noodles with any form of cheese sauce) 5 days a week, without complaint.
The same goes for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Sprinkles are acceptable on any form of food/any meal of the day.
You can become a hero simply by adding a swirl of chocolate to milk.
You can watch Disney movies anytime you want.
The sillier you look/act- the better!
Laughter. lots of laughter.
Your receive your salary in kisses, hugs, and being told that you are the best person ever.

Motherhood is a tough job. Even Oprah believes it to be the toughest job in the world– and who am I to argue with her?! It often leaves me feeling tired, overwhelmed, and underappreciated. But for me, I know that no matter where life leads me down this crazy road, I am never going to be more fulfilled than when I look at my children; I will never have more pride than when I see them succeed; and never more happy than when I spend time immersed in the blessings that this little family of mine has created. I will never be able to express eloquently enough, my thankfulness to God for this unique, wonderful, crazy, exhausting, coffee-fueled life.

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Family Life According To Me

Sake it to me!

by motherofwonder

So today I actually got my house ~~totally cleaned!~~ ~~organized~~ ok, ok, so it’s picked up, at least to the naked eye, or more accurately, or at least hopefully, to the visiting eye! Things are where they’re supposed to be, beds are made, and toys were put away… and although I didn’t have time to mop the kitchen floor, I did get vacuuming done (upstairs). That counts for something, right?

Although with all the commotion I’m hearing going on downstairs, I’m guessing that it’s being undone ~~as we speak~~ as I type. Ugh. If only it were sunny. I love cleaning on sunny days. Don’t ask me why, but give me a sunny Saturday, a glass of wine (as long as it’s after noon, of course), some music, and someone to keep the kids away…and I am a happy camper! Weird, right? But days like today, where it’s just blah, grey, and cold… I just want to curl up on the couch and watch a movie. I would really do just that too, if today weren’t Thursday (*my TV night* where my husband is usually sweet enough to keep the kids away while I relax and pretend that my only concern is if Callie and her baby really do make it after all, and will Lexi and Sloan ever make it work?) After all, I was so productive yesterday! But I’ll (hopefully!) stick to my guns, and get some laundry done. So that while I’m relaxing tonight I can feel like it’s not a total waste of time, since I’ll also be folding clothes! Need a good excuse or a way to make yourself feel better about taking time for yourself? Let me know, I’ll totally help you out! My favorite is eating salsa while watching “my shows.” Since Miss E can’t have anything with tomatoes, I’m really doing her a favor by making sure there isn’t any in the house…right? I ♥ my reasoning. (ha! It doesn’t usually actually work, the warding off the mommy-guilt, but I do what I can.)

Well, since I was so productive yesterday, and we had more visitors coming for dinner… we (and by we I mean mainly hubby-man) fed the kids (ours and our nephew) the chicken from the day before! (Yay for leftovers! Plus yay for tricky mamas! My nephew has the sweetest brown eyes, but can be a bit of a picky eater. I made dinner into a race -see who could eat the most, not the fastest- and even did a refill on the chicken when he wasn’t looking! That’s right Auntie got him to eat 2nds even! Yay for me!) Anyhow, then we (same we as before…) made the “adult food” (which basically just means there’s tomatoes in it, or in this case- they needed to be fed immediately),

Back when hubby-man was also a military-man he did a deployment to Japan, where he fell in love with Korean bbq. When he came home he insisted on learning how to replicate it. And it was time well spent! This is another one of those meals that can look -and taste- like you spent a lot of time and money on it, but neither is true. And ooooh is it yummy! Hubby-man loves this recipe for crowd-feeding! I think he secretly loves that he makes it and therefore everyone oohs and aahhs over his culinary abilities.(I love that I’m not doing the cooking!) Plus, then we get to use all the fun things purchased in Japan! And I’m down for any reason to get out (and use) the Sake set! Something about the miniture scale of it all just makes me feel like a little girl at a tea party! I love it!

Just talking about it has made me realize that it’s lunch time, I’m hungry, and there’s a dish of it set aside specifically for my lunch! I highly suggest you try it! Sooo good!

Meat and Veggies:

4 lb Round Steak (we used black angus)

3 bell peppers (we used 2 red and 1 orange)

2 med. yellow onions

Slice the beef, peppers, and onions in thin strips.

We realized upon cutting it up that it was a ton of food! And our guests ended up dropping off our nephew while they ran some errands. Which worked out perfectly because YAY LEFTOVERS!! So what we did was cook half and froze (the already sliced everything) the other half. So next time we’re thinking that it sounds good, or get unexpected company, no trips to the store will be necessary, we’ll just whip it out of the freezer and voila! You should also know that I LOOOVE peppers and so there’s nothing sparing about the amount of vegetables put in here. You could also add lots of other things, peas, mushrooms, broccoli… (those are things I’d like to try adding in). Plus, if you wanted to make it without meat, it would still be delicious! This is a good recipe to cook with more than one person, or do the slicing in advance. So that either one person slices while the other makes the sauce, or you’ve got it all prepared in advance and can make the sauce and you’re good to go. Either way.

Yakiniku Sauce

1 sm. onion

1 clove garlic

3 tbsp white wine

1 tbsp sea salt

2 tsp honey

1 tbsp sesame oil

1 tbsp lemon juice

1 tbsp roast sesame seed (lightly ground)

3 spring onion very finely chopped

I throw the onion, garlic, and spring onions in the food processor, but you can simply just finely chop them. Place in a saucepan with wine (or white wine vinegar) and cook for about 3 minutes while stirring fairly frequently. Add in the sea salt, honey, sesame oil, and lemon juice and cook for another minute. Let it cool and then add the sesame seeds.

Then throw this delicious concoction on top of the meat and veggies (we cook ours on our big griddle because it’s the perfect size, but you can always do it on the stovetop.) Making sure to stir so that everything is evenly coated. Serve over rice (or quinoa)! Oh, and the sauce can be saved too. I like the extra for pouring over rice- yum! (plus tomato-less and gluten free!)

Beef Family Gluten Free Life According To Me Recipes

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The Muddy Mommy

by motherofwonder

I have learned something in my life as a woman, and it was reinforced with my last 4 years of also being a mother: Women are tough. We’re tough on ourselves mainly, but unfortunately it breeds this unflattering fact: we are tough on other women. It starts very young as I have overheard my 2 year old daughter tell one of her playmates about how a certain doll could only be held by other girls who also had “pink” hair. (The doll, as well as my MissE, has a very pretty auburn/strawberry blonde hair color, that Miss E has labeled as “pink.”) And the look on her face as she tells this other two year old to back off, makes it all perfectly clear: You are not good enough. Yikes. Unfortunately, it’s not just 2 year olds, while they’re antics may make you question that statement. These days the playgrounds seem to be filled with moms who’ve become professional mud slingers. (Remember the Mommy Brigades?) Seriously, if you’re tired of life in the trenches of the minor league, and want to join the ranks of the pros- spend some time at any given playground and you’ll be able to learn all you need to know. Or the baking aisle of your local grocery store- you’ll likely find several ol’ Grannies willing to send a few your way. And they’ve been in retirement so they’ve just been aching to get out there and show you what they’ve got.

The best of the mud slingers know how to sugar coat it, so that it’s sticky, gooey, and very hard to wash off. My top ten “favorite” mudballs? I got ’em here:

(Within a week of a miscarriage, while my “big Es” were about 2 1/2 and just under 1 yr) You still have 2 sweet babies, what business did you have trying for another?“ ….yep, that still stings.
Good thing he looks just like his Daddy! This little gem was due to the fact that my then active duty military man had been deployed and biggest E was born almost exactly 9 months after his return. This never fails to infuriate me.
Good thing you look so young, it helps even out that exhausted, I-have-too-many-kids look. Yes, someone actually said this to me.
You look so young, are you even married? Yes, we were married for over 2 years before our first… but that is none of your business!
My aren’t you the overachiever? I know 3 kids in less than 4 years is not the norm, and yes, some days it’s difficult, but I wouldn’t have them any other way. And again, this is also none of your business!
Oh, don’t you feel so sad that you won’t be having any more children? Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. Thank you for rubbing it in.
You’re so lucky you have enough/make enough that you can stay home. I am blessed to stay at home, but it has nothing to do with luck. We made that decision and have made specific choices to keep it that way. The best part was that this was said by someone who’s income is roughly the same.
What do you think you’ll want to do when you’re able to have a real job? This is offensive on so many levels. And leaves me digging my teeth into my tongue so that words are impossible.
Didn’t you ever want to have a real job? See above statement. x12.
Well, I hope that works for you. I would never parent that way. Let’s meet up again in 20 years and compare notes on how our parenting styles worked out.

I am not one for confrontation of any sort, and I believe in supporting other women, and other moms, no matter what… but these leave me wanting to attend mud-slinging try out, hoping for making it to the big leagues. And those are just the ones that are on the tip of my tongue, off the top of my head, and maybe seared into my heart. I try not to hold onto it, but sometimes that mud is just so sticky that it leaves me one muddy mama.

But as I listen to Miss E tell Biggest E, “My honey bunny, thanks for having a playdate with me, your little girl sister.” And when I ask where they’re off to now as they head down the stairs, Biggest E shrugs his shoulder and says, “Just having a playdate with my best friend, you know, the girl that is my sister,” I know that for our family, this is exactly where I need to be, and my children are better off for it. Which helps the mud start sliding off, except for a little clinging to my shoes. So I take a deep breath, and wash what’s left off… after all, these shoes are way too cute to have mud on them anyways.