Where Whine Meets Wine

The Importance of Being Unimportant

on July 7, 2011

I recently read a facebook status of a fellow SAHM (stay at home mom), talking about the fight to remember what you’re doing actually is important, even when it feels like nothing you do really matters. I totally relate. Don’t worry, this doesn’t just apply to in-house-mamas, this is applicable for all walks of life. Don’t we all fall into ruts where we wonder if anyone would really notice if we just stopped showing up? Stopped doing the work? Stopped trying? Admit it. We’ve all had something like that roll across our minds at least once. Sometimes once a day. I’m not saying that all moms, or all people for that matter, feel this way indefinitely, but let’s be really honest– we are a people in constant need of validation and therefore feel that way at least every once in a blue moon.

I certainly get that way, where I feel invisible. Where I wonder what would happen if I stopped doing the dishes, the laundry, or even (*gasp*) cooking! And, honestly, sometimes I will let things slide, just kind of to see what happens… but that only creates more work, and a less-than-happy work environment. (Which would probably be the case for anyone in any job, if you started letting your normal day-to-day slide.) That’s not to say we don’t all deserve a break, because sometimes we need one. There’s just this feeling of no one knows just how much I do, or just how busy I really am. Someone once said, “You’re so lucky you can just eat anything you want.” Well, we really eat pretty healthy, and practice portion control, but also… I am always on the move! I have three children 4 and under! I don’t really have time to lay around!! It made me think of the old cliche, “I am a stay at home mom, therefore I lay around eating bon bons all day.” I think that anyone with children can agree that is not a possibility! First of all because your kids would be getting into major trouble if you were just laying around unaware of their goings-on, and secondly, if you keep bon bons in the house, the kids will have sniffed them out and eaten them while you were laying around, so you’d go to the box and it’d be empty.

Yes, there is pride in a job well done. At home, at work, or at play. There is satisfaction in knowing that I am the one raising my children, that I am the one witnessing all their firsts, that I am the one they come running to no matter who else is available, because Mommy has always been the one that has been there to take care of them. There is also validation in hearing friends and family say that when they have kids, they’re just going to send them to live with me. Because they know I love it, I enjoy it, and I work hard to raise them as best as I can. I really do strive to raise children who thrived because of their upbringing instead of just having survived it. But it’s a lot of work, and you don’t always see the affects until years down the road. At least not the full affect. So the little-in-the-moment-times can make you feel like it’s unimportant. (Maybe it’s that way in your job as well. Maybe you are responsible for an inch of a mile long project. But what would that mile be, without that one inch?) As a stay at home mom it can even feel as though you’re not making a “real” contribution to society. But in the end, what better contribution could I ever give, than a generation of thoughtful, caring, concerned, responsible, respectful, respectable, level headed (or as much as they can be- they are my children!) adults who will be leading the future?? That sounds pretty important to me.

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It's not." Dr. Seuss in the book The Lorax


6 responses to “The Importance of Being Unimportant

  1. PC says:

    “raising children who thrive in their upbringing instead of survive it.”

    I LOVE IT!!!

    You are Google Read now!!!

  2. John says:

    “And she thinks we’re just fishin’!”

    • every time I hear that song I think of all the winters as a very little girl that I sat in an ice house with my Grandpa, or sitting on the dock at Grandpa’s fishing with my dad…and I thought we were just fishin’ ; )

  3. Domestiç Reclusë says:

    Well said! As unimportant as others sometimes make me feel, I have to remind myself that it is OTHERS who make me feel that way, and that I can control how I react/handle people who rain on my parade rather than getting depressed & letting their words sink in like a knife wound soaked in lemon juice. I know in my heart that what I do is important, and yes — it’s important at least, to me, and that should suffice. The approval of others (sometimes even Hubby) is not a requirement in order for me to do my job as a SAHM; it’s a perk, one I could learn to live without because my children’s development & growth act as daily reminders (or “trophies”, if you will,) of what I’ve accomplished overall. 🙂 Thanks for reminding me of what’s important!

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