Where Whine Meets Wine

Here I Come!

on April 12, 2012

Ok, ya’ll, we have a problem. I am in a bit of a panic over here. Have I mentioned that they had an opening for a Doula Workshop and I immediately got signed up? I’ve ordered all necessary books, done all necessary registration, and screeched with joy when hubbyman agreed I should do it!

For those of you wondering what a doula is, here is what wikipedia had to say about it:

a nonmedical person who assists a woman before, during or after childbirth, as well as her partner and/or family by providing information, physical assistance and emotional support.[1] The provision of continuous support during labour by doulas (as well as nurses, family or friends) is associated with improved maternal and fetal health and a variety of other benefits.[1][4]

In contrast to the goal of medical professionals (a safe childbirth), the goal of a doula is to ensure the mother feels safe and confident before, during and after delivery.[6] Doulas can be controversial within medical settings due to pressure on mothers to avoid medical interventions and pursue natural childbirth without an epidural or medically necessary caesarean sections.[7]

I have a couple comments in response to that… I’m glad they added that there’s improved maternal and fetal heath, along with other benefits. But I wish they wouldn’t have said “associated with.” Implying that it may or may not be true. It is true. There, I said it. Also, as far as #7 goes. It made me want to pull my hair out. No, Drs don’t always appreciate a doula, because if they are telling their patient something, they don’t really want anyone else to tell them otherwise.  But it is COMPLETELY (I can’t stress this enough) asinine to say that a doula would ever (and I mean ever) pressure a mother to avoid a medically necessary c-section!!! Would we want to exhaust all other options if there were a way around it? Obviously, because isn’t that better than a major surgery that has it’s own sets of risks and worries? (Yes, the correct answer is yes.) And doulas are not there to pressure the mother into anything. Usually a doula is there to provide the mother enough support that she has the birth that she wants, (sometimes) despite the hospital staff’s pressures. That was my experience.

I think I knew as soon as I became a mother that I wanted to do something more closely related to mothers and babies than a general early childhood development and education could give me. But I was a little caught up in my own world of mothering and babies to really think about my version of that with others. We greatly appreciated our doula with our firstborn (yes, my doula was my mother.) Hubbyman told anyone and everyone who would listen that they had to get a doula because it was that important, and made that much of a difference for him. I cannot stress enough the importance of having another person there to advocate for you and support you and your decisions.

After Littlest’s birth, I knew I needed to be a doula. I need to make sure that his birth story (or it’s fallout) does not happen to other women.

So here I am, just over 24 hours from my training weekend. And suddenly, I’m so nervous I could pee. Or cry. Despite how much I share on here, in real life… well let’s say I’m not as forthcoming. I’ve been viewed as stuck up, sometimes even snotty… at least in my teens. Not because that’s how I really am, but I remember this? I’m more introvert than extrovert. The class will be with about 20 other women. So while it’s a little more than a handful, it’s still small enough that it’ll be fairly intimate. I mean it’s three days of 1-9pm sessions. It means I’m probably going to have to talk, to someone. Maybe even in front of everyone. Yikes. Deep breaths. There’s a reason my “platform” is behind a computer screen and not in front of a live audience, folks. I’ve been flipping through all my doula, pregnancy, birthing, and breastfeeding books… because what if someone says something and I don’t know what they’re talking about? What if they look at me like the lady in the grocery store did? Ok, more deep breaths. I am a strong, intelligent woman and mother of three naturally born babies… this is something I want to do and can do.

Yesterday, I was clever

that’s why I wanted to change the world.

Today, I am wise

that is why I am changing myself.

-Sri Chinmoy

{inspired by the lovely Christine at Somethingville}

Today, I am letting myself feel my nerves. Today I am letting myself feel a little panicked. Today I am letting myself feel a little worried and scared. Tomorrow, I will grab myself by my bootstraps, get myself together, and be brave. I will look the other brave, likeminded women in the eye and talk to them openly. I will open my heart and mind to all the information they are willing to offer. Especially the instructor. I will see the change in myself.

And then, in a few short weeks, I will hold my sister (in-law)’s hand as I do all I can as her doula to make her birthing my nephew as uncomplicated, and wonderful as they deserve it to be. The thought of that gives me energy and encouragement.

Thank you for withstanding my little freak out session.  

9 responses to “Here I Come!

  1. flamidwyfe says:

    No worries, my dear… You’re going to be with birth workers… Women who advocate and encourage empowerment in whatever form that comes in. They will respect and honor you for your introvertism (listen, I make up words… Lol, good words that should be words!) and will let you, be you… That’s what being a doula is all about… So don’t worry about it… You’re going to LOVE the weekend training… Can’t wait to hear all about it!

    • thank you! When I actually sit down and talk with someone (anyone) about all things birth, I generally feel like “I’m in my element.” I’m hoping that translates to the training setting as well! Thank you for your kind words and encouragement!

  2. Christine says:

    Girrrrrl, you can do this! I am so proud of you… imagine being able to help bring life into this world? I know you can, I know you can! If pep talk doesn’t work, grapes (juice of crushed ones and in a bottle) will do wonders! Call me if you need me!

  3. Wow, I’m so excited that you’re doing this. I think doula’s are truely amazing. I didn’t have one with Fae (I had a homebirth with 2 midwives that work together), but it would have helped, ESPECIALLY for after the birth. I wanted a lot of bonding time with few visitors, so my husband had a lot of work to do and our dishes and chores piled up. For my next home birth I’m planning on finding a doula to help. Good luck!

    • thank you! After I’m officially certified, I hope to also get certified as a post-partum doula as well! Because I too, think that support is ESPECIALLY important after!

      • Manhabakch says:

        I really waetnd to have a doula. Unfortunately I ran out of time and money to secure one before the birth. My husband and mom were in the delivery room. It was fine with them but in the beginning my sister was there even though I asked her to leave repeatedly. I’d rather she not have been in there, but there was no one else in the waiting room yet. In fact she repeatedly texted my mother while I was pushing!!! Ugggg. I love her, but she just didn’t get it and it drove me crazy. I ended up needing a c-section. If I’m blessed enough to get pregnant again then I’m definitely getting a doula if I decide to try a vbac.

  4. flamidwyfe says:

    Looking forward to an update about the weekend 🙂

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