laborofwonder

Where Whine Meets Wine

DumbA of the Week Award

on March 29, 2012

Want to feel like mother of the year? Well, let me tell you some things you should maybe not do then…

  • Do not forget to change baby IMMEDIATELY. Unless you want to be covered in pee.
  • Do not forget to take Littlest potty (first!) before letting him take off naked. Unless you want the floor to also be covered in pee.
  • Do not forget to read the labels of all foods. Even if it’s something you think they’ve had before. Especially if it’s a different brand. Unless you want you Celiac-ridden child to be sick to her stomach, unwilling to do anything but lay around like a wet noodle.
  • Forget to feed you oldest breakfast, unless you want to be asked why you’re trying to starve your children. And that you don’t really love him anymore.
  • Don’t decide not to pick up milk the night before so that you ca just take a walk to the store. Unless you want you a guarantee your day won’t go as planned. And you’ll still have no milk.
  • Don’t give the baby a bottle of water (when he’s requested milk). Unless you want said bottle thrown at your head. And then to be asked if you’re not feeding Littlest because you want him to shrink and starve too (said Biggest).
  • Don’t wear your favorite, new, or anything else you’d like to wear again when you have a kid with an upset stomach. Unless you want a visualization of what’s making said tummy upset.
I feel I should also mention that last night I locked my keys in the car. We were meeting my dad to pick up biggest’s car seat that had been left in their vehicle. The whole trip was spent with MissE going on and on about how unsafe it was to ride without a car seat. Only to have her have to ride home without one. And then get so caught up talking that the fact that you’re heading to Dad’s house, and not where the truck is, goes by unnoticed…

I could go on, but I won’t, for my own sanity’s sake. Let’s just say, today is not going as planned. And my reactions to it, well, they’re not winning me any mother of the year awards. So I’m going to make some of MissE’s favorite soup (broccoli and cheddar) and do some cuddling. And hope that’s enough to win back some of their mother love. And maybe some of my own.

I wonder if I can use my wine slushie mix with Vodka? Seems like a good day to investigate.

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13 responses to “DumbA of the Week Award

  1. Gah! You are not alone. I had to change my shoes because they got peed on. Hang in there!

  2. Christine says:

    You’re freakin’ hilarious, you crack me up! Cookies! Bake cookies! It always works.

  3. Jen Knight says:

    You are definitely not alone….I am not winning mother or daycare provider of the year this week! It must be the weather cause it has been folly after another since Monday afternoon!

  4. Karaboo says:

    When in doubt, vodka mixes with everything…..

  5. I remember the constant battle to achieve some sort of regular consistency in my kid’s diaper droppings. Too soft… more bananas and cheese… too far the other way… prunes and liquids, stat!

  6. ebhansons says:

    i assume you want me to pick up some milk on my way home?

  7. flamidwyfe says:

    Sounds like a fun day! Now that you’ve gotten all that out of the way you should have an awesome weekend!

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