Have you ever had to give yourself a word that sums up everything you do and/or everything you are? You search tirelessly to find one word that culminates your very existence? Well, today I’ve attempted to do just that… I’ve poured over my emotional, creative, and cognitive ways. And this is what I’ve come up with…
If you do one, a few, or all of these things… you might be one too.
- Insist that you can pick your child’s cry out of the mass hysteria of a summertime, lunchtime playground.
- You actually can pick your child’s voice out.
- At least one meal of the day consists of whatever your child(ren) didn’t eat.
- You feel like a teenager sneaking out of the house when you go out past 8 o’clock.
- You feel like you’re breaking curfew when you stay out past 10 o’clock.
- Do things in quiet, so as not to disturb sleeping child(ren)…even when they’re not at home.
- Do things in quit when no one else is home, just to remind yourself what quiet sounds like.
- Find yourself saying words to other adults, in the way that your child(ren) say them. (Example, my mom still refers to ice cream as “arse cream” because that’s how my brother referred to it as a small child. I know, it’s a good one.)
- Sway back and forth, as if rocking a child, even when your arms are empty.
- Find yourself swaying when your arms are holding an inanimate object, as if it were a child.
- Find yourself listening to kid’s songs, without your kids in the car.
- Find your heart skipping a beat when you look in the backseat and only see carseats (without children in them), even though you left them home on purpose.
- Find yourself singing kids’ songs, even when the kids aren’t around. (Hubbyman and I like to text each other the lyrics to a couple of kids’ songs randomly, because it ensures that the other party will then have to suffer through having that song stuck in their head for the rest of the day as well.)
- Go shopping for an outfit for you to wear to *insert special occasion here* and walk out with clothes for the kids, and nothing for you.
- Stand with arms crossed against your chest when another baby starts crying, in effort to prevent leakage.
- Your partner that you used to refer to as a variety of “cutesy” names is now simply Daddy.
- You’ve had a variety of nicknames over the course of your life, but the only word you respond to now is Mom (or a variation of this word).
- You have a preference of which variation of the word mom is used. (Mama, mommy, ma, mom, madre, etc.)
- You have slept in a toddler bed… and you are not a toddler.
- Make sure to close the toilet’s lid and bathroom door behind you, even when you’re home alone.
- You leave/put up baby gates, even when your baby is not there.
- Spend hours packing your child(ren)’s clothes so that they have plenty of outfits and everything matches before a trip, only to get there and find that while your child(ren) has enough clothes to turn your weekend get away into a month long vacay, you forgot to pack anything for yourself.
- You have any combination of these things in your purse at any given time: wipes, diapers, fruit snacks, cereal.
- The bathroom is a place of sanctuary. (when you have someone else to keep an eye on the kid(s) while you’re in there catching up on your magazine subscriptions or taking a ridiculously long shower.)
- Nap time is your favorite time of day.
- Eye your sleeping child(ren) jealously.
- Have to stay up till midnight to get anything done.
- (Almost) always look like you just got off a red eye flight.
- You think of your # of children in # of years like a soldier and their tours. (I did 3 tours in 4 years = I had 3 children in 4 years.)
- Have experienced love in a way you never imagined and/or never thought possible.
Obviously, there are other things that define me as an individual, and not “just” a mother. It is amazing the fun, silly, sleepless, ridiculous things that change when you go from a person who is mainly just responsible for oneself to someone who is responsible for the whole lives of someone (or or some two or three or more.). So even though I’ve gone from someone with the uncanny ability to organize things to the Nth degree to someone who can realize they’d forgotten to turn the monitor on, only to have baby wake up seconds after (this happens all the time!), or hear one of my little voices in a crowd, on trips I never have all of my things, will rock anything you put in my arms, speaks toddler fluently, and you can frequently find me cleaning the kitchen floor at midnight…. I would not trade it for anything in this world. I am a mom, and I prefer Mama.
Dino, dino, dino- saur, dino, dino, dino-saur….racing day it’s racing day, today’s the day we race…Linny, Tuck, and Ming Ming too, we’re wonder pets and we’ll help you… this is the song that never ends, yes, it goes on and on my friends, some people started singin’ it not knowin’ what it was…
You are welcome.
laborofwonder 
Even at 52 years young I still prefer mama to any other name or that of Marmie which my sweet girl still calls me from time to time (and she’s all grown with 3 of her own). Keep writing from your heart and giving voice to our inner ‘mommies’ past, present and future. Being a mom isn’t something I intent to ‘outgrow’. Beth (Marmie)
thanks mom 🙂