Things You Should Say (To Your Partner)

by motherofwonder on August 9, 2011

I was looking at my other “Things You Should Say…” posts (you can read them here and here) while I was listening to the Brad Paisley/Carrie Underwood song, Remind Me, and it got me thinking. I’m sure in no small part due to last week’s visit to the place where I met hubbyman (and where we shared our first kiss – 14 years ago!), that I was thinking about our relationship all those years ago in comparison to where it is now. Don’t get me wrong, I have no desire to have our relationship to be what it was when we were teenagers, and I’m thankful for the relationship we have now. But after 14 years of…us, almost 7 years of marriage, and 3 children… maybe we could use some reminders.

Remember our first year of marriage, and you gave me flowers every month (Starting with 11 daisies -my favorite- and one rose, then 10 daisies and 2 roses, etc. as the months continued. Ending with all roses on our one year anniversary.)? Remind me that you still think I’m special.
Remember when you used to spend hours MAKING me a card that would look like a piece of art? Remind me that I’m still worth the energy of making the extra effort.
Remember when you worked nights and I worked days and I would go to sleep at 7 so that I could wake up at 1am just to watch an hour of TV with you on the couch. Remind me that I’m worth your time.
Remember when you filled every vase and glass in the house with daisies, just because. Remind me that you’re still thinking of me.
Remember when I’d be waiting at the door when you came home from work (without a baby in arms)? Remind me of when we used to be so excited to see each other we’d be counting down the minutes.
Remember when we moved into the townhouse and the Navy hadn’t delivered our stuff yet (and we had nothing!) so we’d have movie nights in the computer room (on the computer) while sitting in our camping chairs. Remind me that you just want to spend time with me, no matter what we’re doing.
Remember when Big E was a baby and you’d rush home and insist on taking him and holding him? Remind me that you enjoy co-parenting with me.
Remember when you used to take the Big Es to the park so I could get some things done in peace and quiet. Remind me of when we used to value each other’s alone time.
Remember when we’d always go to bed together, at the same time?! Remind me of when I was worth staying awake for.
Remember when we used to get dressed up and go on dates that I didn’t have to plan? Remind me that I’m still the one you’d choose if you were choosing again today.

I think the longer you are with someone, and children only triple that number, the easier it becomes to get complacent in our relationships. You get in a routine and a rhythm and you forget the energy and excitement of when you were consistently keeping your other half in the forefront of your thoughts. It doesn’t mean that your relationship is going down the drain (and I certainly don’t think that/feel that way about mine!!), but every relationship worth having, is worth maintaining!