parenthood | laborofwonder

Snotty Mommy Brigades (Again)

by motherofwonder

I posted this last year, but I figured some of the sentiments bared repeating. (If you read the original then you know that yes, I’ve edited it a bit.)

Ok, so I’m going to say this thing that I’m probably not supposed to say, you know, because I am one, but… Some moms make me roll my eyes and think, No wonder some (of course, not all) women without children have a hard time with those that do. Yesterday marked the official opening of spring for me- we had our first trip to the playground of the season. And it was there I came face to face with the enemy. The Snotty Mommy Brigade. Ok, maybe they’re not the enemy, but they’re certainly not on my list of friends. The Snotty Mommies are women who have children, think that theirs are better, or yours are worse (or something like that). They give out calloused insults under the pretense of a compliment. (“I would never let my child go out in public wearing an outfit like that, my aren’t you brave.”) These women are harder to get in with than that uber expensive preschool in the city, with the 2 year long waiting list. And have a longer list of prerequisites than Harvard. I know you know the ones. They roll their eyes at the other moms trying to push their way through a door at the zoo, with a baby in one arm and a stroller in another, without bothering to help. But when the situation is reversed they order you to open the door for them. (I can’t help but roll my eyes and growl a little just thinking about it!) And it’s not just comprised of moms, there are some grandparents, some fathers, some with children/grandchildren, and some without. There are some women without children that have climbed aboard this bandwagon as well. Women who have forgotten to picture what life is like in someone else’s stilettos. Or flip flops.

They have no patience for children behaving like children, which let’s face it, even the best behaved, well-disciplined children, still behave like children. I know that no one wants to hear kids screaming and yelling and throwing a temper tantrum…ever. No mother does either. And father’s enjoy it even less. But just like I’m going to try and give you the benefit of the doubt when you roll your eyes at my kid (maybe it’s because you’d really like to be throwing a temper tantrum after the day you’ve had), please give me (and my child too) the same courtesy. Know that I try not to take them out when they’re at their hungriest, tiredest, crankiest… but sometimes it is just unavoidable. That’s the thing with the SMB (Snotty Mommy Brigade), they offer no support for a new mom, or even veteran mom, who’s running on little sleep and dealing with a child, or multiple children, who are hungry and tired. No support, only judgement. They are the Snotty Mommy Brigade. And sometimes it really does feel like they’re the enemy, raging war on us.

Then there is The Real Mommy Brigade. It is not comprised solely of moms helping out other moms. It is the babysitting grandma’s, the caring aunts, the attentive girlfriends, guy friends who happily become doting uncles, grandfathers, fathers, and (my kids’ favorites) uncles too! I am so thankful to say that our friends, (single, married, with kids and without) are so accepting of our parenthood (instead of holding it against us like some of our “friends” that are really a part of the Snotty Mommy Brigade), that they don’t mind our “adult night” being an evening of children’s entertainment, letting us get the kids in bed, and then being able to enjoy drinks and games while they sleep! (Did I mention, we love them?!) I do not believe that just because a couple, or a single, does not have children equates with them not liking children. Whether they decide to have children or not is inconsequential. Their participation is what matters. The one that runs errands with me (to help with the kids), the one that comes entertain the kids so I can clean up before visitors, the ones that I meet for a venting and a glass wine, the guys hubbyman meets for happy hour, and the friends that call up hubbyman for his help on a project (maybe it doesn’t sound like it, but for him, that is an outlet). The friends who would never invite us without including the children. The friends who’ve become family to our children. They are what get me through. They are what gets our family through.

The women at the park who told their children not to play with mine because they had “their real friends to play with,” they are not on my team. And I would never want someone like that on my team, taking swipes at me even from the sidelines. I am blessed and so thankful for my family, friends, and especially my Happy Hour Mistresses (because let’s face it, sometimes Mommy needs a time-out too!), who are on the front lines with me. And because I’m asking you to show a little grace, you little SMBrigader you, and because I’m still on that stinkin’ Love Dare (can you tell that I’m facing a challenging part right now?), I will show you grace as well. So even after you’ve instructed them not to play with my kids, I will give you directions when you’re having trouble telling another of your friends how to Community Center (that you can see from the playground). I will show my children what kindness looks like. I will show you what kindness looks like. Even when you tell your friend “This woman is telling me that I said the wrong street…No, of course I didn’t ask her…” And when my daughter loudly says, “Mom, I don’t like that lady. She is not a nice lady.” I refrain from telling her that I agree. (But oh, how I agree. And want to say -equally as loudly- No, she’s not nice and I don’t like her either.) Instead I look at her children, who are watching this brief exchange, and I offer this to my girl, “Sometimes people say things that don’t sound very nice, but they may not mean for it to sound that way. And it’s really not very nice for us to talk about someone else either. It might not sound very nice to them.”

And then I walk off, with littlest E sleeping, wrapped to my chest, calling the big Es to follow me, on an adventure into “the jungle” (a path in the woods)… they come following hand-in-hand, but just before they’re out of the SMB’s hearing biggest E says, “Those kids might not think their mommy was nice.” And middle E responds with, “Yeah, not like our mommy. She is nice. She really is.” ♥ And just for a moment the not-so-nice-mommy and I meet eyes, and in that moment something passes between us, and we know which mommy won today’s Battle of the Brigades.

Family Life According To Me Love Dare Marriage Things Kids Say

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Coffee: You Can Sleep When You’re Dead

by motherofwonder

I stayed up late last night. And it wasn’t to read a good book or have a good talk with a friend. No, it was scrubbing counters, floors, picking up countless odds and ends, organizing, and laundry. Doing all the things that never seem to get done on the day to day, or have a hard time getting them all done in the same day. When you live in a house full of the under 5 crowd (ok, so I guess it’s the just-turned-5 and under crowd now), sometimes it’s hard to stay on top of it all. Especially when two are boys. Boys who leave a wake of disaster and destruction. By the time I switched yet another load of laundry, picked up the last dinosaur, train, and strawberry shortcake figurine and actually climbed into bed, it was after 2am. There was a time when that wouldn’t have seemed so absurd but when you have little people that wake like a lightning bolt and don’t stop until 9pm… you come to value sleep in a way I’m not sure you can really understand, unless you’re a parent. I thought about texting hubbyman, asking him to grind some beans (I don’t know why but I hate that part of making coffee) and set the coffee pot for me. But I was so exhausted, and -of course- Littlest woke up as soon as I crawled into bed… so I just fell asleep to the thoughts If he really loved me, he’d prep and set the coffee pot for me. (It would definitely be further proof as this is something I don’t think he’s ever done before.)

Insert a noise that may have been a cross between the words, I hate the sunlight and a curse word in a language undeveloped (Or just really-tired-mama-speak) when I woke to find that MissE was in bed with me (who is about as lovely in the morning as her father…. and maybe her mama) and Littlest was wide awake and mad. And it was only 7. I could barely even keep my eyes open. I tried to coax them into cuddling and just laying quietly, but they were not havin’ it. I got them cereal, turned on a cartoon, and stood in front of the coffee pot, willing it to magically make itself. And then I noticed a green light on it. That was the timer light! Which means that he really does love me!

(photo credit: Keeling Korner)

I still have more on my list of things to do today that I had high hopes of crossing off… but my Miss has just projectiled apples all over the living room. So I’m thinking this day may have other things in mind for us. Good thing my sweet hubbyman made enough for more than one cup of coffee. I’m gonna need it.

Life According To Me Marriage

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Does This Go Together?

by motherofwonder

Now I may have missed the actual time line to join in with all the bloggers that followed along with the 100 Way to be Kind To Your Children (from Toddler Approved!– who also happens to have totally awesome pinterest boards!). But does that mean it’s too late for me to work on being kind to my children? Absolutely. Not! Just in going through the list, I’ve found that not only will it be beneficial for my children, but it will be healthy for me too. It’s letting go of some of the pressure, some of the ideals… and just holding onto the fact that some days survival is good enough.

This weekend we will be creating like crazy! We are going completely organic (and homemade) in the cleaning products. I’ve made dishwasher detergent and laundry detergent before. (I liked the former but wasn’t impressed with the latter.) We use a homemade solution in our carpet cleaner. But as we continue on in our lives, trying to live with as much intention as we can… we came to the realization, did we really intend to put lots of chemicals on (and therefore into) our bodies, let alone our children’s? I think we all know the answer to that! So this weekend we will be traveling deeper down that path. Hubbyman made shampoo last weekend. He seems to like it. I’ll admit it does smell good. Hopefully I remember to charge up the camera so we can really document the process, as well as the outcome. An added benefit to making these things ourselves (other than the obvious health benefits)? Money. Pennies on the dollar, folks. Another benefit, you get to choose how they smell! Which for me and my smelly sensitivities is fantastic. My choices (of essential oils) lemon and tangerine. Together = heaven. Or pretty close to.

And since we’re on the topic, you might want to go ahead and read the 5 Grossest Things You’re Eating from the Supermarket. Or even better, The 15 Grossest Things You Eat. Might make you think twice. Or lots more. If you read those 2 alone, even without doing any further research, I don’t think you’ll ever question why we buy our beef from a family farm. Or why we buy organic milk. Or why we make just about everything from scratch. And why I like to can my foods myself.

On another note- I woke up thinking today was Thursday. So imagine my surprise (and delight) that today is, in fact, FRIDAY! (*insert a big WOHOO! here*) And so… I’m going to start with my kindness, get my butt off of here, and make my kids clean their rooms! Hey, teaching them the importance of proper organization is showing them kindness, right? I like to think so!

*I am thankful for people I have never met, or have only met briefly. At least in person. I’m part of a MN Cloth Diapering Mamas group and they are so sweet (and just about the only group of mamas I have ever seen remain mama drama free. It’s refreshing!). And not only that, they have been willing to make donations to my brother & his expecting wife’s cloth diaper stash! Woohoo! It may not seem that exciting, but trust me when I tell you it is! And one of my absolute favorite diaper makers, Softbums (go ahead, like their facebook page too- tell them I sent you!), has offered to make a donation (in diapers)! This is incredibly amazing- and when I called my sister-in-law she definitely shared my excitment. (Plus, the softbum diaper style is her favorite. And out of the 2 diapers I got her for Christmas. One was a locally made by LetJoy Diapers (like her page while you’re at it too!), and the other was of course the adorable giraffe style Softbum. (I tried adding a picture, but for some reason, wordpress is not cooperating at the moment. Hopefully later I can add it in, because it is so cute that I really wanted to keep it for Littlest. Even though he has several softbum diapers himself, it’s the only print one that we don’t have!)

*I am thankful for girlfriends. With kids. Without kids. Girlfriends can be big lifesavers. And an evening with them can be so refreshing. Even without wine (last night it was *homemade* specialty lattes!). But let’s not kid ourselves, an evening with girlfriends and wine, well, only coffee can compete with that.

*I am thankful for children who love their mama. Possibly more than any other person in the world. (I say possibly, soley on the off chance hubbyman is reading this. I give them pretty much all of my time and attention. And while Daddy is still their hero and the funnest of the fun, Mommy is the favorite.)

*I am thankful for children who are very independent. You know, for the most part. (And sometimes this backfires, like the other day when I caught Biggest teaching Miss who was teaching Littlest how to fly and be super heroes. Which, in reality, meant that they were wearing their hooded towels as capes while jumping off the top of the bunkbed to fly.) Remember this, closed doors = children up to no good.

*I am thankful that I enjoy cooking. Seriously, life would be a lot harder for this foodie family if that was not the case. Plus, my coffee wouldn’t have been quite as good without the homemade (yes, that’s right- you may now bow at my feet.), delicious donuts that I added a swipe of cream cheese frosting too. Yum.

*I am thankful to be married to a man who sees the big picture, even when I just want to focus on surviving the next ten minutes.

*I am thankful for any and every person who stops by, says hello, or just reads a line or two. I’m always surprised, humbled, and blessed by the people who (both in person and on-line) tell me they read what I write. And occasionally, they enjoy themselves. You are the people that keep me sane. (See, now I hooked you in- you can’t stop reading, or else I will lose my sanity. And then you’ll feel the guilt. Gotcha. I’m kidding. Mostly.)

Happy Day of Friday to You and Yours from Me and Mine!

Family Life According To Me Marriage Recipes Thankful Fridays Things Kids Say

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Always, Always, Always

by motherofwonder

I read a post on facebook this morning that said: There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

(Credit: Just Feelin' Good on Facebook. Clicking the photo will bring you to it!)

While I am still struggling with some things, there (as always) are still things to be thankful for. And since it’s been a while since I’ve remembered to do a Thankful Friday post… I’m doin’ it today! Some of these things have happened and some are happening this weekend… I’m thankful just knowing some of the things we’ve got comming up!

I am thankful for a day to celebrate my wonderful hubbyman (yesterday was his 30th!)!
A brother (and sister-in-law) that want to spend time with the people who’ve made them aunts and uncles. And requesting an overnight with them!
And parents willing to take Littlest for an overnight!
That Littlest doesn’t mind and actually enjoys being the only one and getting all the attention!
A whole afternoon, evening, night, and morning without children!!
A night out with friends!
That I’m feeling a little more like myself
That I’m giving myself permission to feel however I feel, for however long I feel like it
That I already miss my children (yes, I really am thankful for that. It’s a wonderful reminder of how much I love them, even when they’re driving me a little batty.)
For family and friends ready and willing to give me their support
For a very supportive husband (x a million!)
For children who are so aware of my feelings, and are always willing to give extra hugs and kisses when they think I need it
For my children.
For my children.
For my children.
For Biggest
For Miss
For Littlest
Repeat x a million

Now, this doesn’t really go in line with my normal Thankful Fridays (but I am thankful to have people in my personal life, and in my blogosphere life that are supportive and caring in my own mental health!), but a couple weeks ago it was Mental Health Awareness week, and it went by without my notice, so I am posting this photo now, because it’s good to be aware of it any time of the year!

(Credit: facebook group I Jump, You Jump. Clicking on the photo will bring you to the original link.)

Family Life According To Me Marriage Thankful Fridays

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Live To Love Another Day

by motherofwonder

I opened this tab and sat here and stared at the blank screen, willing thoughts and words to come. I stared at the screen some more. I opened another tab. I checked my facebook notifications. Nothing terribly interesting there. Although, it turns out, I am not alone in my enjoyment of the combination of red wine and snickerdoodles. But maybe that’s because they didn’t know that was my dinner. Whoops. (I don’t care.) It turns out, that the emotions I’m feeling, that I’ve been feeling, they’re not fleeting. Apparently I have to deal with them or something lame like that. I spent the majority of the day in tears.

Now I know that I talk of my love of wine and it’s powerful healing and relaxing properties, but the truth is… I’m not a big drinker. I don’t need a glass a day; I don’t even want a glass a day. I certainly enjoy a good glass of wine (my father in law just made a new batch of plum port, and wow, is that good!), but it’s just more of a eh, if it’s here I’d have some, maybe. Unless I have an already cold can of Pepsi, because more likely that yells my name a little louder. And I kind of have a “rule” that I don’t drink before hubbyman gets home. It’s not really a rule, and truthfully, hubbyman wouldn’t care. I just don’t feel like it (I’m still pumping myself full of caffeine to survive until he gets home, I don’t need anything that makes me more tired!), plus I feel like it can be a slippery slope once you go there. However, there have been days when things have happened or bad moods have occured and I’ve texted the hubbyman to say Is it too early to start drinking? To which he always responds, Nope. And then he gets home and finds that I never even poured myself a glass of anything. Or if I did, it just sat there on the counter. Well, yesterday, I poured myself a glass of wine. And while I only had a couple of sips by the time hubby came home, he took one look at the wine on the counter, and immediately looked at me, and asked what was wrong. I shrugged and shook my head. He immediately came over and gave me a hug, and said, last night you cried and today you’re drinking wine… what’s going on? And I couldn’t even respond. The emotions were too fresh, the pain too real. And then he quietly said, You want another baby. And I just cried. I know, we have three children and our oldest is only 5. We are crazy, busy. But I love it. And I love them. And I am not saying that we would actually have another baby, but I would love another one. But that is not an option. And it’s not a choice I get to make.

While I was terribly disappointed that hubbyman had to drop the kids back off after Tae Kwon Do to head back in to work, I was very surprised to see him return with roses, for me. For the second time in a week! (This is unheard of in our household! Truly, unheard of! I asked if this was his way of getting out of paying the higher prices for flowers when it’s Valentine’s Day. He claims he didn’t think about that until after he bought them. I think I believe him.) I’m sure at some point, we’ll probably talk, with words. But for now, the support of him just holding me, of just acknowledging why I’m sad, and showing his love and concern. That’s pretty powerful. The truth is, I don’t know that I’m ready to talk about it. It’s one thing to type it out, but it’s another thing completely to use my own voice, to have to hear those words. I woke up today, and felt…exhausted. Emotionally spent. I’m hoping it’s a step in the right direction, at least.

In the midst of all my grey skies, I am still surrounded by the humor and excitement that is my children. I wish I could have gotten it on video, but I forgot my camera at home… during Madonna’s halftime performance, my MissE (who loves all things dance and singing) was glued to the TV. When the cheerleading part came on, she stood directly in front of the TV, mimicking their moves and even singing along. (And I promise she has never heard that song before.) It was hilarious and amazing all at once. And further proof that we need to get her tiny little behind in a dance class.

And my oldest just informed that I am making him freak out due to how much annoying I’m being… on that note, I think I have some children to annoy, I mean play with.

my dinner... Red Wine and Snickerdoodles

Family Life According To Me Marriage Things Kids Say

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Mom Challenge

by motherofwonder

Do you ever have one of those dreams where everything feels so real, and something happens that wakes you up either feeling very a) happy, b) sad, or c) mad? Me too. In fact, I had one of those dreams last night. And I woke up furious. And the fury was directed mainly at the hubbyman (who luckily for him, had already left for work). At first I was confused as to why I was so angry with him. I didn’t immediately recall the dream and I was trying to think of anything to happen recently that would cause that kind of affect. And slowly I remembered the dream. Whew. At least I don’t have to spend any more time being mad at hubby for something he didn’t do. (Or do I stay mad because of the potential that it’s something he could/might do at some point, some day? Hmm… no, I won’t. That sounds like a lot of useless effort, and I haven’t even had my coffee yet.) No, he didn’t have an affair, or leave me, or anything like that. And I don’t remember all the specifics, other than he volunteered me or something, saying that I would sit down and do it and not be allowed to leave until it was done. And man did that cause a scene. Maybe because I got up, yelling and stomping like a 2 year old and fled the perfectly lovely dinner we’d been having with some family members… in my dream, of course.

Well, I decided not to hold hubbyman accountable for his actions in my dreams. (You’re welcome, my dear. I’m generous, I know.) So I put on my big girl pants, and went about my business. My business being primarily of the homemaker variety. I cleaned forever, I did mountains of laundry, and I even discovered that there is actually carpeting on the floor in my children’s bedrooms! Who knew?! The day was not going so bad, considering my mood at its start. My biggest boy even gave me a moment of reprieve with his wit: Whew, it’s a good thing I turned to five now. Five is a big helper, and it looks like you need a lot of help around here. (he says as he looks around…hey, he’s not wrong.)

*Just as I typed the last sentence, the computer decided to no longer be connected to the internet (something it decides to do more often then it decides to connect)… and my children were left alone with my laptop while skyping with their cousin (*cough* hubbyman *cough*), and knocked it off the desk or did who knows what to it, so that now the screen lights up an array of beautiful colors, but that is it. (Sad face) When hubbyman got me the computer, he had enough presence of mind to buy the extra warranty, so this week we’ll be bringing it back (it’s only 6monthsish old) and hopefully we will come home with a new, working laptop. And then I can get back to blogging. In the meantime, I’ve been deep cleaning all of the bedrooms, and more. Today, well, this week, it will be the office area. Which means the filing. Deciding which papers can be tossed, shred, or kept for forever never to be looked at again. I also have Biggest’s birthday party to plan this weekend. One I thought we weren’t going to have (after setting a date up, hubbyman decided he didn’t want to do it… but grandparents vetoed and we’re back on!). Needless to say, I have lots of planning going on! Hopefully, the internet fairies will be on my side and I’ll still be able to do some posting in the next couple of days (I’m going to want to share all the fun things for his birthday party… I love kid birthday parties!) ! Until then, I’m going to share this with you. I tried to print out just a couple of them, but the printer decided I needed 5, so this will probably be posted all over the house (I’d planned for the fridge, bathroom, and bedroom, but maybe I’ll post it on their doors as well!)… it’s terrific! And I think even the best mothers can use the reminder to parent with purpose every day, and I think this will do that. Check it out!

(clicking on the picture will bring you to the page! be sure to go check it out and print out a copy for yourself!)

Family Life According To Me Marriage Things Kids Say

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On This Day (I Thee Birthed)

by motherofwonder

I had been having inconsistent contractions for a month. My mom had flown in to join us as we awaited our little man, unknowing it would be weeks of waiting. I had to sit in a very awkward position just to breathe, as his little legs were jammed up in my ribs. I went in for a baby check and my dr. wanted to induce in a couple days. Fluid levels and everything looked fine. I even packed my bags and headed to the hospital a few days later for the induction. I never had a sense of “this is the day my baby will be born,” but I probably had just always imagined being in labor when I came to that conclusion. After being checked and hearing a brief summarization of what their plan was… I packed up my bags and went back home. I was told they’d “give me” another week but no more. (To which I stubbornly stick out my tongue and say pbbthhhh.) And it didn’t matter. A couple days later, after a full day of walking the beaches, picking up shells, and doing some shopping along one of the cutest little seaside towns you’ve ever seen…I had regular contractions. In fact, I sat down while my mom and hubbyman browsed in the final shop of the day. This was 9 days after my due date, they both had pretty much given up on the idea I’d ever have this baby, but I just knew this was the start of the path that would lead me to my baby.

the "bump" is him sticking his little booty out

Almost 24 hours later, he arrived. And life has never been the same. And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

My dearest firstborn,

I love you. I love the way your eyes dance when you laugh. The way you furrow your brow when you’re trying really hard or trying to figure something out. I love the way you give hugs- especially your bear hugs. Even if I don’t always appreciate that they knock me over. I love the way you talk to your siblings, at least most of the time. Besides, who else would show them to tell them how to be an animal that jumps like a frog, roars like a lion, and whimpers like a puppy? Or how to scale furniture and then leap off? Who would show them how to make the biggest fort? Or teach them not to be afraid of the dark, because you think the dark is fun. Or how to say your prayers. How to use your manners, how to brush your teeth. The things you are teaching your siblings whether intentionally or through example, is amazing, and we are thankful for it. Almost all the time. I am thankful for YOU all the time. Your sweet spirit, your love, your cuddles, and even your sense of adventure. I am so proud to be your mama.

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Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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Rocking Chair Bliss

by motherofwonder

Thankful Friday… today I am both thankful in general, and thankful it’s Friday. We are expecting some snow, starting this morning, this weekend and I’m looking forward to a weekend of snuggling in with my honeys and maybe some fun time outside. we haven’t had enough snow to really enjoy winter activities and my biggest boy has been so sad about that. Today he decided he misses warm weather since there’s nothing fun to do outside right now. Can’t say I blame him. We were looking forward to snowball fights, snowmen, sledding, and snowshoeing…but there just hasn’t been the snow for it. Hopefully this weekend will turn that around. So today, I am thankful for weather that feels like winter, and hoping it brings snow to make it look like winter as well.

I am also thankful for something else. Those that know me in real life, and probably those that have read along with me for a while now, know that I am a breastfeeding advocate (the daughter of a lactation consultant, I can’t help it!). Now if you know my feelings on breastfeeding and it’s importance you probably just think that I’m not one of the masses who has struggled with it. Unfortunately, that is simply not true. Now I am a go to person for questions, and have never minded the late at night phone calls fielding questions that I sometimes get. Sometimes my hubby even gets phone calls about breastfeeding to have him run by me. I don’t mind one bit. The truth is, a lot of the answers I have, is because I’ve been there. I’ve had a baby who only wanted to nurse all the time (and by all the time, I mean all the time. Truly.), I’ve had to figure out how to get newborns to latch correctly, I’ve had to figure out how to deal with nursing strikes and growth spurts, cluster feedings, thrush, and teething. With my oldest I lost my supply when he was only 9 months- when I was pregnant with his sister. With MissE she and I both battled a long, painful battle with thrush when she was 12 months old. And now with my youngest, after we passed the year mark I was thrilled. No major bumps (or bites). I thought that finally I might have one child that I could wean naturally, in our own time. And it seemed as if we were going rather smoothly along that road. Unfortunately, as his eye teeth have come in, he has developed some bad habits in his latch. My oldest was so adamant about nursing that even very, very little I could coach him in how to hold his mouth and he would do whatever it took to continue nursing. My youngest is more stubborn about doing things the way he wants. These teeth have been slowly easing their way in for months. Seriously- they first poked through about 2 months ago and they’re still maybe half in. Try as I may, and try with all my might I did, but have ended with pain and lots of tears. After the battle we went through with MissE, hubbyman was adamant that I not let it progress to infection and the battle that becomes. While it seems we may be headed down that road anyways, we’ve certainly been trying everything in our power. I pumped and pumped and pumped some more. I was not getting enough milk and my body was not healing fast enough to actually nurse him. Last week he and I were both sick, which made pumping more difficult. I mean, not only did I not feel well, but he didn’t either, therefore was always in arms. Pumping and holding a wiggly baby toddler is not so easy. Today is my 5th day of not pumping. It’s kind of heartbreaking and I feel disappointed and sad.Littlest is now 18 months old, and I know that I have gone above and beyond what a lot of moms do, but it was not how I had envisioned things. You’d think with 3 kids, at least one of them would be easy! (But I guess it just adds to my frame of reference for more breastfeeding questions.) Now I know this doesn’t sound like it fits into a thankfulness post, and if I’m honest, I’ll tell you- I am not thankful for this. At all. But what I am thankful for is the support I have always been given by my husband. He came to my defense when I called the failings of my body into question (between his pregnancy, his birth, and now this…). He has become a staunch advocate himself, and I find that something to be so thankful for.

We recently acquired a rocking chair that my parents had in the house I grew up in, which was wonderful because we didn’t have any furniture that rocked. And everyone with kids needs something that rocks! Between sick times and cuddle times- it’s just a necessity. At least to me. And over the holiday sales I found some suede microfiber fabric on major clearance that I snatched up to reupholster it with. I just about lived in this chair while we were all sick, rocking Littlest to sleep. And it became a miracle for while we were transitioning to bottles and milk not from the tap. We’d always nursed for nap time and bed time, and it was becoming a challenge to put him down without. In came the rocking chair. I mentioned to hubbyman how thankful I was for the rocking chair to rock and snuggle him in close, and how still having that time was helping to alleviate some of my disappointment. And so this week he took it upon himself and took apart the chair. He took the old upholstery off, he did some upkeep to the chair itself, and he spent a couple evenings in a row doing the actual reupholstering. I really missed being able to use it while it was a work in progress. But when I took Littlest upstairs to rock after an hour of unsuccessful bedtime attempts, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness. He put his chubby little hand around my neck, gave me a kiss (along with the sound- his kisses always include the sound mmmwah!), nestled in, and went right to sleep. It may not be the way I’d hoped, or the way I’d envisioned, but as I sat and rocked my sleeping baby, the disappointment and frustrations subsided and all I felt was thankful. For this old rocking chair turned into new and my sweet hubbyman who always seems to know my heart.

Life According To Me Marriage Thankful Fridays

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Season of Thankfulness

by motherofwonder

I can hardly believe we’re just a couple short days away from Christmas! Seems like last week we were still waiting on Thanksgiving! But that’s how it goes every year, isn’t it? And sadly, I missed out on yesterday’s “Simple” post… I seem to have been doing that a lot lately. And if I’m honest, I’ll admit that I sat down to do it, loaded all the necessary photos, and just didn’t feel like it. So the kids and I made another round of sugar cookies instead. And I don’t regret it one bit! But I am hoping to start doing more recipes again! So that’s something you can be looking forward to (or not!). I have pictures and recipes just waiting to be shared! Everything from monkey bread pizza, sugar cookies!, and mug cakes (they take 2 minutes to make! seriously!). And more!! And they’re all gluten free! And soooo delicious! And since today is FRIDAY (duhn, duhn, duhn) and the fact that this is a season where we are bombarded by things to do, things to make, things to buy, things to give, things to get, and people to see… it’s easy to get lost in all of that and forget all the things that are really important during Christmas, and always. Along with being thankful. For friends, family, jobs, homes… here are some things I’m incredibly thankful for!

For a hubby who will have TEN DAYS IN A ROW off!! I’m so excited about this I can hardly contain myself! And my mom said that they’ll take the kids for a day during Christmas break, so we’ll actually get a day together! That’s really something to be thankful for!
For my Christmas present. Yes, I know it’s just a thing, but it’s a wonderful, pasta extruding thing that I’ve been wanting! And hubby was thoughtful enough to think of it and get it for me! (And let me use it before Christmas even! I did have his permission to open it, but I’m not sure how he would’ve stopped me since I was home when the Williams-Sonoma box arrived!)
I take great joy in finding “perfect” gifts for people! I am thankful that I have wonderful, beautiful people in my life to love and appreciate!
I am thankful for my NEPHEW that’s a’growin’ in my sister-in-law’s growing belly!!
I am thankful for the sensitive side of hubbyman that who admitted he’d hoped it was a niece, because he thought it would be fun to have a cute, little niece! (But it will be fun that Littlest with have a cousin close enough to his age that they’ll be playmates!)
I am thankful for surprising the kiddos with the arrival of their cousin and aunt and uncle from China!
I am SO THANKFUL that we got a dusting of snow this week… and that there’s lots coming down now! (please, keep snowing! please, keep snowing!)
I am thankful for every person that stops by here! The ones who read it occasionally, the ones who read it regularly, and even the ones who just skim through. (*ahem*hubbyman*)

And I’m off to go decorate some gingerbread men, snowmen, Christmas trees, dinosaurs, monkeys, elephants, and strawberry-shaped cookies! What you don’t think dinosaurs or strawberry shortcake land berries are Christmasy? Well, you obviously haven’t seen our nativity then!

Merry Christmas, my dears! And may you accept all the love and hugs a little more graciously than my little ones!

Life According To Me

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There Are No (Appropriate) Words

by motherofwonder

Today I’ve been feeling a little sub par, and it seemed like no matter how I tried to pretend I was feeling good and could be productive (we’ll have around 13 adults and 6 children under 5 in a week and a half in our home to celebrate Christmas!), every time I turned around, I’d run smack into something to remind me of how crappy I was feeling, along with unproductive. Like how I heard Littlest scamper down the stairs to join his siblings in play, and thought it would be a good time to throw some things in the laundry. By the time I’d switched out clothes from the dryer and the washer and reloaded the washer… I came upstairs to this pleasant surprise. We had girl cheese (as my MissE pronounces it) with tomato soup for lunch only minutes earlier, and the table had yet to be cleared. Littlest found a spoon and was feeding himself a slurp from every cup… unfortunately most of it ran down his front and onto the table, where he discovered he liked the feeling of it squishing between his toes. Needless to say, a bath ensued as he had tomato soup from head to toe and a plethora of places in between. And as this is just one example for the day (he also pulled over the Christmas tree…), these are all the words I care to say out loud. I hope you can understand, and maybe even sympathize. If you can babysit, that would even be better