Where Whine Meets Wine

Always, Always, Always

I read a post on facebook this morning that said: There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.

(Credit: Just Feelin' Good on Facebook. Clicking the photo will bring you to it!)

While I am still struggling with some things, there (as always) are still things to be thankful for. And since it’s been a while since I’ve remembered to do a Thankful Friday post… I’m doin’ it today! Some of these things have happened and some are happening this weekend… I’m thankful just knowing some of the things we’ve got comming up!

  • I am thankful for a day to celebrate my wonderful hubbyman (yesterday was his 30th!)!
  • A brother (and sister-in-law) that want to spend time with the people who’ve made them aunts and uncles. And requesting an overnight with them!
  • And parents willing to take Littlest for an overnight!
  • That Littlest doesn’t mind and actually enjoys being the only one and getting all the attention!
  • A whole afternoon, evening, night, and morning without children!!
  • A night out with friends!
  • That I’m feeling a little more like myself
  • That I’m giving myself permission to feel however I feel, for however long I feel like it
  • That I already miss my children (yes, I really am thankful for that. It’s a wonderful reminder of how much I love them, even when they’re driving me a little batty.)
  • For family and friends ready and willing to give me their support
  • For a very supportive husband (x a million!)
  • For children who are so aware of my feelings, and are always willing to give extra hugs and kisses when they think I need it
  • For my children.
  • For my children.
  • For my children.
  • For Biggest
  • For Miss
  • For Littlest
  • Repeat x a million

Now, this doesn’t really go in line with my  normal Thankful Fridays (but I am thankful to have people in my personal life, and in my blogosphere life that are supportive and caring in my own mental health!), but a couple weeks ago it was Mental Health Awareness week, and it went by without my notice, so I am posting this photo now, because it’s good to be aware of it any time of the year!

(Credit: facebook group I Jump, You Jump. Clicking on the photo will bring you to the original link.)

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Christmas Sadness

So…I didn’t post anything yesterday (you obviously noticed instead of sitting there obliviously, right?? I’m going with, obviously!) and I thought about skipping it today…. but thoughts of you won out. That’s right, you.

The holidays are always a hard time for me, emotionally, physically, mentally… it’s the time of year I’ve always struggled most. It’s seasonal depression-esque but probably a little heavier. I have trouble sleeping- I toss and turn, even though I’ve made a point to go to bed earlier than I normally do and have outlawed the computer in the bedroom so that I have nothing distracting me from sleep- other than myself. And then I wake up and I’m so tired you’d think I barely slept the night before and it’s truly all I can do to drag myself out of bed. This morning I realized that as I get older, it may be worsening instead of being alleviated.  My tip off? The fact that I sat and looked longingly at the coffee maker, wanting coffee, but thinking I just didn’t have it in me to actually make the coffee. It just seemed like so much effort. Uh, what? Houston, we definitely have a problem.

Hubbyman will admit it, begrudgingly, but he too as seasonal depression. I’m sure a good part of his is that he never sees the sun. It’s dark when he leaves for work and it’s dark when he comes home- and that is hard on a person! I’ve been trying to coax him into talking to a Dr. about it, but it seems a little silly when I have not done that myself. Maybe we can go together and it’ll be like a date. (Yeah, that’s not happening.) But I am hoping that if I decide to take the leap of faith and trust that I don’t have to feel this way, maybe he will too. Instead of laying back to back, tossing and turning, both battling the same restless feelings, without the words to fully explain them. (Plus, as a spouse it’s hard to not internalize your partners feelings.)  The point of why I’m sharing this? (Because I’m not exactly enjoying telling people that I think making coffee is a lot of work… c’mon, coffee?! It does explain the mountain of laundry though, if I think coffee is a big deal.) Maybe you’re feeling that way, or maybe someone you love is feeling that way. Know that you’re not alone, know that they aren’t trying to be a grump during the time of year lots of people become bubbley annoying versions for their former put together selves. So talk. Talk about your feelings, talk about their feelings. And remember it’s ok. See a Dr., see a therapist, see your best friend. There is no shame in doing what is necessary for you, or your spouse, partner, friend, family member…. No shame. Only encouragement, support, and hopefully a better nights’ sleep.

The truth is, I’m antsy even sitting here, with visions of laundry fairies and diaper genies dancing in my head. I’m pretty sure they’re laughing at me and how they won’t be visiting my house, instead leaving me to wash all the diapers, and the rest of the laundry on my own. Me, who thinks coffee making takes a lot of effort. Yikes. If I can figure out a way to bribe -or blackmail- them, I’ll be sure to let you know.