laborofwonder

Where Whine Meets Wine

Sep 14

Bananas over Candy

by motherofwonder

Everywhere we go, my kids are given things… food, toys, candy…you name it.  I don’t know what it is, but it just always happens. I’ve decided it’s either one of two reasons. Reason a) they’re so cute. Reason b) they look like little hobos that just hopped off the train as covered in sand and dirt as they tend to be. (Our yard is basically all sand, which the kids of course love.) Anyhow… I realized just as I was about to head out to the farmer’s market that I didn’t have any cash. (*sigh* I knew that was going to happen.)  So I walked to the grocery store to get some cash first. As we walk in (I’ve got all three kids in the stroller, mind you), I figure kids are getting a little hungry and head to the bananas. We get there as the produce man is loading them up. For some reason there is a row of candy in front of the bananas (talk about product placement), which of course catches the eyes of all my Es. Miss E is in front, so she pipes up first, Mom look at that candy. My tummy might be rumbling for some of those things.  (How is it that kids know, without any prior tasting, that it’s candy and/or will taste good?) I simply respond with, Ooor, we could get a whole bunch of bananas so we’ll have some for now and some for later at home.  They all nod in agreement. Produce guy laughs at our interaction. and says, Not only are you brave enough to venture to the store at this time of day, but with three kids, and somehow convince them that they want bananas instead of candy? You’re like supermom.  (*blush*) He then picks out bananas for each of the kids to eat while we walk through the store. Big E looks up at me and says, Does he know we like broccoli too?  Ahh, that’s my boy.

I cannot stress enough the importance of the things we eat, let alone the things we feed our children. It is not an accident that my children will pick bananas over cookies and candy. Or that broccoli is one of their favorite foods. Or that they think apple slices with nutella are a very special treat. Don’t get me wrong, my kids have candy and cookies… not every day, but maybe once a week or every other week. While part of it is that hubbyman and I just aren’t too into the sweets, the other part is that there are just so many foods out there that are healthy and delicious. And kids fill up so quickly, why would I waste any of that belly space with junk? And it’s just as important that they see those kids of healthy practices modeled for them.

Family Life According To Me

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Sep 12

Loss & Remembrance

by motherofwonder

God has you in his arms, I have you in my heart.

So yesterday was a day of remembrance as much as it has been a day of loss.  Which got me to thinking about loss and what it’s meant in my life. Things and people I’ve loved and lost over the years. My grandfather, an adopted grandmother, and beloved family friends.

This time of year is especially hard for me and is always a sign of loss because it was when I miscarried. It has been two years. It seems to be one of those things that unless you have experienced it, you don’t understand it. While you can certainly sympathize and know that it was sad, you can’t imagine the magnitude. I am often reminded with the fact that I have Littlest E, my miracle baby, and how he wouldn’t be here if the baby I lost was. I know it is always well-intentioned thoughtfulness that promotes this comment from people, but I just have to say, one baby does not take the place of another. Does is ease some of the pain and bring new joys? Of course it does (and thank God for that!). I am so thankful for Littlest E and his wonderful life. I can’t imagine our life without him in it, and can hardly believe he’s only been a part of it for a year! But even my sweet chubby-faced boy cannot take the place of a sibling we never met, of eyes we’ve never seen, of arms we never held, or cheeks we’ve never kissed. Some days it’s heart-aching-ly painful to think about.

10-25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage, so this is obviously a bigger issue than most people realize. I myself know lots of women who have share this unfortunate event with me. I know this subject is not often talked about, and it’s often just brushed off in conversation. “I had a miscarriage…”  “Oh, that’s tough.” “Yeah, but that’s how it goes I guess. So what’s new with you?” Ok, so maybe every conversation isn’t like that, but I have been a part of and witnessed handfuls that really have. I get it, you don’t know what to say and they don’t know how to respond. Do you tell them that your heart is breaking in a way you didn’t know it could? That all you see is babies everywhere around you and none of them are yours. You can’t have yours. And how do you respond to those feelings? You just can’t. In most cases, when trying to share my feelings, I walked away wishing I hadn’t because the person I was confiding in, did not respond with “the right thing.” Here are just a few things not to say when a friend is hurting and suffering over the loss of a baby:

  • At least it happened while you were pregnant and not after you had the baby and had gotten to see it and hold it. (Thank you for rubbing it in that I can never see my baby or have baby in my arms.)
  • At least you have other children/can have more children. (No child replaces another child.)
  • You wouldn’t have/couldn’t go/couldn’t do a, b, or c if you’d had the baby.  (It doesn’t matter if it it’s true, it’s not helpful.)
  • It was probably for the best. (Yes, I’m sure…the best often comes with tears and heartbreak. It doesn’t matter if things “worked out” outside of the miscarriage and life continues, it does not mean that it was “for the best.”)
  • There was probably something wrong with the baby, this was probably easier. (You mean easier for you, right?)
Here are things that are helpful when you know a friend is struggling.
  • A phone call, e-mail, text, card that says I love you. I’m thinking about you and praying for you. My heart hurts for your heart. Let me know if there’s anything you need. (Sweet, simple, and leaves it up to her, because we all deal with loss differently.)
  • A gift card… to her favorite restaurant, coffee shop, bookstore, massage place, nail salon… Something where it’s all about what would make her feel good.
  • Babysit! If she has other kids, take them, or go there while she gets things done or goes and does something!
Some days will be good, some days will be sad, and some will be very, very bad.  Just remember husbands, girlfriends, sisters, family… she is not going to forget about this, and neither should you. A reminder that you remember can be a big comfort as well. Otherwise it can feel like you are all alone in your grief. We’re not talking really grand gestures, just the little ones. Because loss is such a delicate thing and no two situations are exactly alike… it’s hard to find the right words sometimes. And if you’re like me, you just want to know that someone knows and understands that you’re hurting. And that if you needed one, there’s a shoulder to lean on along the way. And as with all loss, it will be a lifelong road.

Life According To Me

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Sep 11

Won’t forget

by motherofwonder

I did not forget last year, or the year before

I didn’t forget five years ago, or even four.

I won’t forget tomorrow, I won’t forget today

God give us peace and bless the USA.

 

 

…that said, today gives me pause. Not only does my heart ache for the families of those who lost so much on this day a decade ago. But my heart aches for those who’ve lost so much since then. For the little eyes that have witnessed much tragedy. The little hands who have touched such sorrow. And little hearts that may go on broken. No matter your race, religion, or political status, we should all be compassionate enough to remember that we’re not the only ones who have seen sorrow and destruction in the days since. And I hope and pray that we all see peace one day.

Life According To Me

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Sep 9

Gotta Get Down On Friday

by motherofwonder

Today I’m thankful that I always have things to  be thankful for! A roof over my head, shoes on my feet, love in my heart… these are all pretty major things that not everyone in our world can claim.  I am thankful for creative and crafty friends who are willing to help me… see, I am creative. I have really great ideas. Unfortunately, in order for them to turn out the way I see them in my head- my artist husband has to do it for me. Thankfully he can see my visions and they turn out beautifully!

I am thankful to live within walking distance to our local grocery store, pharmacy, farmer’s market, and health food store. Along with multiple playgrounds and even a swimming beach. (If it’s a mile or less, I consider this walking distance.)

I am thankful for FOOTBALL!! That’s right, I said it! While lots of women seem to see this as a betrayal to our kind… I find that utterly ridiculous! Completely and utterly ridiculous! In fact, I may like football more than my husband does. While my hubbyman loves his (our) team; I love football. Don’t get me wrong, I love our team… but I like other teams too. I really just love football and while I was disappointed with the results of the opening game I am looking forward to the season opener (for us) this weekend! I have been going over recipes and blogs picking out the perfect game day foods! (Another reason I love football- the foods!)

And  I’m also thankful that I got MOST of the house cleaned yesterday, as it means I should be able to get the REST of it done today!

Before I forget- I’m also thankful it’s: Friday, Friday! Gotta get down on Friday! (You’re welcome- not get that out of your head!) While I don’t think it counts as “getting down” I am getting ready for some diaper making (wahoo! I truly am excited about this!) and I have a batch of Wine Slushies in the freezer in preparation (and obviously I’m thankful for that!)!

 

Life According To Me Thankful Fridays

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Sep 8

Simply Irresistable!

by motherofwonder

This is so, so yummy (and so, so simple)… and those that know me that this time of year is a busy time in my kitchen. Salsa making and canning will occur and end shortly and then the fall season will start. Which brings apples galore! My grandparents have an apple orchard and lots of friends with apple orchards. Which for me, equals- I get lots of apples! I make (and can) applesauce, apple butter, and send hubbyman to work with countless batches of one of my personal favorite treats- apple crisp! It’s actually one of the few desserts that I can make a whole pan of and not have to throw any out! (We’re just not big dessert eaters, hubbyman and I.) Plus, this is one dish that always says home to me. And have always made it no matter where we lived!

My brother and his new bride have apple trees in their new yard and my dad brought back a bun was thoughtful enough to share them with me! There was exactly enough for each of the kids to help themselves to one and for me to make a (7×7) pan! I know what I will be having for breakfast the next couple of days! The recipe is so simple, truly! For a 7×7 pan this is what I used: 6-8 small to medium apples (peeled and sliced in wedges- uniform size is best so they all cook the same) Drizzle cut apples with splash of lemon juice 1/4 cup of sugar 1/2 cup apple juice (you can use water and it will still taste good!)

Next (this is the topping) you will combine 1 cup of flour (you can also use oats. I used too many oats/not enough flour… I think a 3/4 c flour to 1/4 c oats would be a better consistency than my half and half- but it still tasted good.), a cup of butter (2 sticks), and 1/3 cup of sugar in a small bowl. I usually start with the butter and soften (not melt!) and then “cut” the butter into the flour/sugar, (Which means I take a knife and fork and act like I’m literally cutting it) until it’s in about pea size balls. I love the topping so I make sure that it covers the whole thing. Top it off with cinnamon and bake at 375 for 35 minutes. And voila! You have an amazing dessert! Serve it hot and top with vanilla ice cream (especially if you’re trying to impress someone!) or cold with a dollop of cool whip! Yum!

 

Dessert Gluten Free Impressively Simple

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Sep 6

The Decade (Since September 2001)

by motherofwonder

Now I know that today is not September 11th, but with all the talk about the Ten Year Anniversary, it certainly has had me thinking about it. Where we you that September moment? Just getting into your work day? Settling into history class? Maybe even still sleeping? Chances are you know where you were. I was a freshman in college. I remember the noise of the students milling around all talking at once. I didn’t know what was going on…sitting in English class a TV was rolled in and we watched with horror as Tower One burned and cried as we watched Tower Two get hit as well.

Maybe your life wasn’t drastically altered that day, or maybe it changed your life completely. I felt heartbroken and saddened. And watched as 3 classmates left school and went home to visit their families that were now forever altered. Along with countless other classmates that joined the Reserves. My life may not have been immediately altered, but it certainly was in the years that followed.

My dear hubbyman was a bit of a wildman in those days… but he shortly decided he wanted a different road. He has a definite sense of responsibility, and knew that no one else in his group of friends would, so he enlisted. I certainly didn’t know that September morning that a few short years later I would end up being a military spouse.

Even if your life was not directly affected. You didn’t lose a family member, you didn’t enlist yourself for active duty or join the weekend warriors… but it has been ten years. A whole decade. Your life cannot be the same as it was a decade ago, can it? Mine certainly isn’t! I was 18, a college student, a head full of ideas and a heart full of dreams… today I am 25 (yeah, don’t do the math…ha!), I have been married for almost 7 yrs, I have been a parent for almost 5 years, I have 3 children… In some aspects I am nothing like the girl who watched with eyes glued that morning. And in other aspects I am just a better (maybe?) grown up version of that girl. One who’s ideas and beliefs have been tried and tested, one who’s faith has had to hold her up through real heartbreak, and someone who’s vision of life and humanity has been forced to evolve as I have grown and experienced life these last ten years.

At 18, I surely thought I was “grown,” but let’s face it, being an adult has less to do with age and more to do with life experience and maturity. I now have passionate opinions about things I never would have imagined. I have lived and learned, hurt and healed, loved and lost loved ones. I’ve borne three beautiful, healthy children and I’ve held the hand of a grandmother in her final days. I’ve lost touch with a few friends over those years, and reunited with others. I’ve learned how to be myself and that it’s ok to choose your family. In the scheme of things ten years seems like such a short amount of time, but since that fateful day my life has changed by leaps and bounds.

My heart still aches for everyone connected with September 11th and all that has happened in the years to follow, both here and overseas. I wish them peace and pray for blessings in their lives. I certainly hope that the next ten years are filled with more peace than we’ve seen collectively this last decade. I hope that my next decade is filled with as much love, laughter, and life as the last decade has.

2001

GOALS FOR THE NEXT DECADE:

  1. Finally finish my masters!
  2. Raise happy, healthy, responsible children (ones who love each other and of course me too!)
  3. Travel
  4. Take a cooking class, or two, or three…
  5. Be more accepting of myself and be better about taking time for myself
  6. Write more
  7. Find my “dream job” even if it means inventing it!
  8. Revisit the places I’ve lived in my life
  9. Build a home to retire in
  10. Go on a honeymoon before our 20 year mark! (And of course, enjoy each other along the way!)

Family Life According To Me Marriage

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Sep 2

Today Is Friday

by motherofwonder

I spent the whole week looking forward to Friday, waking up every morning thinking surely today has to be Friday (and it never was). And now it’s here and I feel a bit indifferent about it. But it is Friday, and there are things to be thankful for…

 

Like my oldest not plummeting off his bunkbed to his death. Ok, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but thankfully I went running down the stairs at the first shriek of Mommy! And found him hanging by his feet from the railing. Needless to say, we were both a little shaken, and a lot thankful.

I am thankful for a little girl who until recently would never have left my side willingly. This morning she quickly finished breakfast and begged her brother to go downstairs and play with her. Hugely thankful for her growing independance.

And I am thankful for the hilarity my littlest man brings to my life. The fact that he’s listening and understanding more and more every day! And the fact that he can almost always be distracted with the words, Where is the puppy?!? And he’ll almost always go off in search of beloved friend (who is in fact, a real animal)…and promptly attempt to climb on top of him.

Oh, I am also thankful for a puppy who will let Littlest E (really all of them) climb all over him with not so much as a nip or a bite. And the fact that he saves his “kisses” for the children and not for me, I’m totally thankful for that.

Family Life According To Me Thankful Fridays

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Sep 1

Just So Ya Know

by motherofwonder

So there’s been a lot of talk around here (and by around here, I mean me, with my blah-blah-blogging) about being in a funk… well, I still feel a little bit that way, but I am crawling my way out of it. Thanks in no small part to some sweetheart of friends, family, and of course my sweetheart of a man, the hubbyman. Encouraging words have been spoken, hugs have been given, fun has been had, and while I’m still feeling my way out, I’m finding more and more about who I am, what I stand for, what I won’t stand for, and how better to support my friends and how to best let them support me as well!

When I was discussing my funk with a girlfriend, I told her how I was feeling tied down by the worry over whether or not someone would take something I said personally (like it was said about them) or that they would be offended by my words (should we happen to have different opinions). She gave me these great words, Let  people choose to read your words and what they do with them; don’t let them choose the words you say or how you feel. (Unless of course you have topic ideas- I’m totally down for that!) And then she added, Besides, if they knew you they would know that you were just trying to be supportive while talking in general. You would never call someone out like that. You aren’t *itchy enough. (Please don’t all jump out of your seats at once to disagree with her… we all occassionally have those tendencies, ok?!) But for the most part, she’s right… I haaaaaatttttttteee stirring the pot, conflict, confrontation… hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

So here it is, or here I am, in my simplest form, or my most complex… either way, just know that if I’m just  stating my OPINION, I’ll admit that. If I’m stating a FACT, I’ll say that. If I’m stating a BELIEF, I’ll own that as well. I welcome everyone’s input, advice, words of wisdom, and maybe even a little constructive criticism. (Just be gentle.) Know that my words are my own, my thoughts are my own, my beliefs are my own… obviously they’re the right ones (for me!!), but…hey, they’re mine. So take my words to heart, take them as lessons, take them as a way of passing time, take them to the bank… or leave them. I’ve been on paths others didn’t understand (and frankly, there are certainly things  and beliefs in my life that even those closest to me wouldn’t necessary understand) and I am not judging your path. I just am someone who wants to lighten the load by offering my support whenever possible. I am not going to be the end all solution, for anyone- not even myself! And that is certainly not what this blog is about. I am not going to always say the right thing, do the right thing, and heaven knows I’m probably not going to wear the right thing (because that would mean I’d have to get out of my pajamas!). But what I do have is 3 children, some good ideas, some mediocre ones, an extensive background in early childhood education along with family studies (I know, I went to school to be a mom! *shakes head/rolls eyes*), a keen sense of what can be thrown into a pot and actually taste good, a sense of humor, and a caring heart. So even if you take my words as just another mom rant, just know that somewhere in between all the lines is the heart of a woman who just wants to be comfortable in her own shoes and maybe even help someone (anyone!) else to feel a little comfortable in theirs.

Family Life According To Me Marriage Things You Should Say

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Sep 1

Impressively Simple Leftovers

by motherofwonder

Last weekend was craazy, followed by what’s been a fairly crazy week. Tuesday our power went out! And it didn’t get fixed until around 3:30pm yesterday! While it was a major annoyance, it wasn’t life stopping that’s for sure. Big E found his “miner’s light” (one of those flashlights that goes around your head) and Miss E has a Princess lantern (I believe both are thanks to an Auntie- thank you!) and they had lots of fun with those. They even put on a shadow puppet show for Littlest E. So sweet. Plus, since it was dark they were convinced it was bedtime almost an hour before their normal bedtime… that was awesome! And it afforded us to do some things that I otherwise would have declared myself too “busy” to do. Like walking to a lovely little cafe we like and sitting in their garden area while enjoying Yogurt Parfaits (which Big E deemed “better than candy,” and Miss E followed it with, “Or treats!” thanks in part to the shaved chocolate on top!). The older couple sitting a table away had a good chuckle over their statements. Followed up with playtime at their favorite playground. Something it’s been either too hot or rainy to do very often this summer. I think they were actually a little disappointed when the power came back on. Not much, but maybe a little. Until they realized their toast could again be toasted.

So food… leftovers, of course! Because I threw out everything that was a)going bad or b) had already gone bad or c)would never get eaten and was not worth taking up precious cooler space. I try (this is a continuous process for me!) to make sure everything continues to get eaten, not just one time and the rest thrown away… and what better reminder than a mandatory fridge cleanout! I found pre-made (and frozen) noodles, already cooked chicken, and a small container of pre-mixed-GF all-purpose flour…. so I made chicken alfredo! Yummy! The noodles are incredibly easy to make, alfredo sauce is super simple to make (and so easy to personalize into whatever your taste buds are craving most! For me it’s usually salt, for hubbyman it’s usually pepper! Bring 1 cup milk, 2 tbs butter, 2 tbs flour, and any of your favorite seasoning- I used garlic, lowry’s, pepper, sea salt, parsley, and oregano. to a boil for 2 minutes and voila- instant Mmmm.)… so that’s what we ate! What is your favorite, easy to throw together, “leftover” meal? Mine is probably salads, because I just love salads and you can throw almost any kind of (leftover) meat on top and make it especially “special.”

Chicken Gluten Free Impressively Simple Pasta Recipes

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Aug 30

Inventive Parenting

by motherofwonder

(Things You Should Say To Parents…With More than One)

You think you know what parenting will be like before parents, and you think you’ve got it all figured out while loving on that newborn in the hospital. And then you go home. Reality sets in. This baby cries more/eats more/needs more diaper changes/is awake at night, more than you ever thought possible. And that’s just the easy stuff. You muddle through, then you have baby number two and begin to repeat the process. And it doesn’t work. Sound familiar to anyone?

Our first was really terrific. The best labor/birth out of my three. He never cried. People used to pretend to teach him what a cry sounded like, because he obviously didn’t know how to do it. Slept through the night at about 2 weeks. Ate all the time. This boy liked to eat. But while the first couple days were painful and a learning process, we quickly corrected his latch and had smooth sailing in the nursing department. Enter peanut #2. Every night she would cry for hours, no matter what I did… I felt so helpless. And so unprepared. Eventually I realized that I was treating her the way her older brother had wanted/needed to be treated, but this little girl needing something entirely different. She was picky about the way she was held and how she was laid down. It turned out she needed a couple weeks of chiropractor visits, but in general, she still needs to be parented different than her older brother. And our youngest was an entirely different baby too. He hated to be in a wet diaper. No matter how tiny the amount of wetness. He’d cry and fuss, you’d change him, and he’d be back to being a happy camper. And while the first two were what I refer to as “add water and stir” kind of babies (meaning if they were a little cranky, toss them in the water and stir and they’d be fine!), number 3 hated bath time for at least the first 9 months.

Now that they’re no longer babies, there’s a whole other level of parenting to be discovered. One thing is for sure, parenting is not a one-size-fits-all kind of a deal. You have to invent yourself as a parent with every child you have. Big E craves freedom to roam and wander. Miss E craves reassurance- that you’re still there, that she’s behaving herself, that she’s doing things right. And Littlest, well, we’re still learning, but rest assuredly, it will be something entirely different than his siblings.

Family Life According To Me Things You Should Say

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