laborofwonder

Where Whine Meets Wine

Bananas over Candy


Everywhere we go, my kids are given things… food, toys, candy…you name it.  I don’t know what it is, but it just always happens. I’ve decided it’s either one of two reasons. Reason a) they’re so cute. Reason b) they look like little hobos that just hopped off the train as covered in sand and dirt as they tend to be. (Our yard is basically all sand, which the kids of course love.) Anyhow… I realized just as I was about to head out to the farmer’s market that I didn’t have any cash. (*sigh* I knew that was going to happen.)  So I walked to the grocery store to get some cash first. As we walk in (I’ve got all three kids in the stroller, mind you), I figure kids are getting a little hungry and head to the bananas. We get there as the produce man is loading them up. For some reason there is a row of candy in front of the bananas (talk about product placement), which of course catches the eyes of all my Es. Miss E is in front, so she pipes up first, Mom look at that candy. My tummy might be rumbling for some of those things.  (How is it that kids know, without any prior tasting, that it’s candy and/or will taste good?) I simply respond with, Ooor, we could get a whole bunch of bananas so we’ll have some for now and some for later at home.  They all nod in agreement. Produce guy laughs at our interaction. and says, Not only are you brave enough to venture to the store at this time of day, but with three kids, and somehow convince them that they want bananas instead of candy? You’re like supermom.  (*blush*) He then picks out bananas for each of the kids to eat while we walk through the store. Big E looks up at me and says, Does he know we like broccoli too?  Ahh, that’s my boy.

I cannot stress enough the importance of the things we eat, let alone the things we feed our children. It is not an accident that my children will pick bananas over cookies and candy. Or that broccoli is one of their favorite foods. Or that they think apple slices with nutella are a very special treat. Don’t get me wrong, my kids have candy and cookies… not every day, but maybe once a week or every other week. While part of it is that hubbyman and I just aren’t too into the sweets, the other part is that there are just so many foods out there that are healthy and delicious. And kids fill up so quickly, why would I waste any of that belly space with junk? And it’s just as important that they see those kids of healthy practices modeled for them.

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Loss & Remembrance


God has you in his arms, I have you in my heart.

So yesterday was a day of remembrance as much as it has been a day of loss.  Which got me to thinking about loss and what it’s meant in my life. Things and people I’ve loved and lost over the years. My grandfather, an adopted grandmother, and beloved family friends.

This time of year is especially hard for me and is always a sign of loss because it was when I miscarried. It has been two years. It seems to be one of those things that unless you have experienced it, you don’t understand it. While you can certainly sympathize and know that it was sad, you can’t imagine the magnitude. I am often reminded with the fact that I have Littlest E, my miracle baby, and how he wouldn’t be here if the baby I lost was. I know it is always well-intentioned thoughtfulness that promotes this comment from people, but I just have to say, one baby does not take the place of another. Does is ease some of the pain and bring new joys? Of course it does (and thank God for that!). I am so thankful for Littlest E and his wonderful life. I can’t imagine our life without him in it, and can hardly believe he’s only been a part of it for a year! But even my sweet chubby-faced boy cannot take the place of a sibling we never met, of eyes we’ve never seen, of arms we never held, or cheeks we’ve never kissed. Some days it’s heart-aching-ly painful to think about.

10-25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage, so this is obviously a bigger issue than most people realize. I myself know lots of women who have share this unfortunate event with me. I know this subject is not often talked about, and it’s often just brushed off in conversation. “I had a miscarriage…”  “Oh, that’s tough.” “Yeah, but that’s how it goes I guess. So what’s new with you?” Ok, so maybe every conversation isn’t like that, but I have been a part of and witnessed handfuls that really have. I get it, you don’t know what to say and they don’t know how to respond. Do you tell them that your heart is breaking in a way you didn’t know it could? That all you see is babies everywhere around you and none of them are yours. You can’t have yours. And how do you respond to those feelings? You just can’t. In most cases, when trying to share my feelings, I walked away wishing I hadn’t because the person I was confiding in, did not respond with “the right thing.” Here are just a few things not to say when a friend is hurting and suffering over the loss of a baby:

  • At least it happened while you were pregnant and not after you had the baby and had gotten to see it and hold it. (Thank you for rubbing it in that I can never see my baby or have baby in my arms.)
  • At least you have other children/can have more children. (No child replaces another child.)
  • You wouldn’t have/couldn’t go/couldn’t do a, b, or c if you’d had the baby.  (It doesn’t matter if it it’s true, it’s not helpful.)
  • It was probably for the best. (Yes, I’m sure…the best often comes with tears and heartbreak. It doesn’t matter if things “worked out” outside of the miscarriage and life continues, it does not mean that it was “for the best.”)
  • There was probably something wrong with the baby, this was probably easier. (You mean easier for you, right?)
Here are things that are helpful when you know a friend is struggling.
  • A phone call, e-mail, text, card that says I love you. I’m thinking about you and praying for you. My heart hurts for your heart. Let me know if there’s anything you need. (Sweet, simple, and leaves it up to her, because we all deal with loss differently.)
  • A gift card… to her favorite restaurant, coffee shop, bookstore, massage place, nail salon… Something where it’s all about what would make her feel good.
  • Babysit! If she has other kids, take them, or go there while she gets things done or goes and does something!
Some days will be good, some days will be sad, and some will be very, very bad.  Just remember husbands, girlfriends, sisters, family… she is not going to forget about this, and neither should you. A reminder that you remember can be a big comfort as well. Otherwise it can feel like you are all alone in your grief. We’re not talking really grand gestures, just the little ones. Because loss is such a delicate thing and no two situations are exactly alike… it’s hard to find the right words sometimes. And if you’re like me, you just want to know that someone knows and understands that you’re hurting. And that if you needed one, there’s a shoulder to lean on along the way. And as with all loss, it will be a lifelong road.
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Won’t forget


I did not forget last year, or the year before

I didn’t forget five years ago, or even four.

I won’t forget tomorrow, I won’t forget today

God give us peace and bless the USA.

 

 

…that said, today gives me pause. Not only does my heart ache for the families of those who lost so much on this day a decade ago. But my heart aches for those who’ve lost so much since then. For the little eyes that have witnessed much tragedy. The little hands who have touched such sorrow. And little hearts that may go on broken. No matter your race, religion, or political status, we should all be compassionate enough to remember that we’re not the only ones who have seen sorrow and destruction in the days since. And I hope and pray that we all see peace one day.

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Gotta Get Down On Friday


Today I’m thankful that I always have things to  be thankful for! A roof over my head, shoes on my feet, love in my heart… these are all pretty major things that not everyone in our world can claim.  I am thankful for creative and crafty friends who are willing to help me… see, I am creative. I have really great ideas. Unfortunately, in order for them to turn out the way I see them in my head- my artist husband has to do it for me. Thankfully he can see my visions and they turn out beautifully!

I am thankful to live within walking distance to our local grocery store, pharmacy, farmer’s market, and health food store. Along with multiple playgrounds and even a swimming beach. (If it’s a mile or less, I consider this walking distance.)

I am thankful for FOOTBALL!! That’s right, I said it! While lots of women seem to see this as a betrayal to our kind… I find that utterly ridiculous! Completely and utterly ridiculous! In fact, I may like football more than my husband does. While my hubbyman loves his (our) team; I love football. Don’t get me wrong, I love our team… but I like other teams too. I really just love football and while I was disappointed with the results of the opening game I am looking forward to the season opener (for us) this weekend! I have been going over recipes and blogs picking out the perfect game day foods! (Another reason I love football- the foods!)

And  I’m also thankful that I got MOST of the house cleaned yesterday, as it means I should be able to get the REST of it done today!

Before I forget- I’m also thankful it’s: Friday, Friday! Gotta get down on Friday! (You’re welcome- not get that out of your head!) While I don’t think it counts as “getting down” I am getting ready for some diaper making (wahoo! I truly am excited about this!) and I have a batch of Wine Slushies in the freezer in preparation (and obviously I’m thankful for that!)!

 

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The Decade (Since September 2001)


Now I know that today is not September 11th, but with all the talk about the Ten Year Anniversary, it certainly has had me thinking about it. Where we you that September moment? Just getting into your work day? Settling into history class? Maybe even still sleeping? Chances are you know where you were. I was a freshman in college. I remember the noise of the students milling around all talking at once. I didn’t know what was going on…sitting in English class a TV was rolled in and we watched with horror as Tower One burned and cried as we watched Tower Two get hit as well.

Maybe your life wasn’t drastically altered that day, or maybe it changed your life completely. I felt heartbroken and saddened. And watched as 3 classmates left school and went home to visit their families that were now forever altered. Along with countless other classmates that joined the Reserves. My life may not have been immediately altered, but it certainly was in the years that followed.

My dear hubbyman was a bit of a wildman in those days… but he shortly decided he wanted a different road. He has a definite sense of responsibility, and knew that no one else in his group of friends would, so he enlisted. I certainly didn’t know that September morning that a few short years later I would end up being a military spouse.

Even if your life was not directly affected. You didn’t lose a family member, you didn’t enlist yourself for active duty or join the weekend warriors… but it has been ten years. A whole decade. Your life cannot be the same as it was a decade ago, can it? Mine certainly isn’t! I was 18, a college student, a head full of ideas and a heart full of dreams… today I am 25 (yeah, don’t do the math…ha!), I have been married for almost 7 yrs, I have been a parent for almost 5 years, I have 3 children… In some aspects I am nothing like the girl who watched with eyes glued that morning. And in other aspects I am just a better (maybe?) grown up version of that girl. One who’s ideas and beliefs have been tried and tested, one who’s faith has had to hold her up through real heartbreak, and someone who’s vision of life and humanity has been forced to evolve as I have grown and experienced life these last ten years.

At 18, I surely thought I was “grown,” but let’s face it, being an adult has less to do with age and more to do with life experience and maturity. I now have passionate opinions about things I never would have imagined. I have lived and learned, hurt and healed, loved and lost loved ones. I’ve borne three beautiful, healthy children and I’ve held the hand of a grandmother in her final days. I’ve lost touch with a few friends over those years, and reunited with others. I’ve learned how to be myself and that it’s ok to choose your family. In the scheme of things ten years seems like such a short amount of time, but since that fateful day my life has changed by leaps and bounds.

My heart still aches for everyone connected with September 11th and all that has happened in the years to follow, both here and overseas. I wish them peace and pray for blessings in their lives. I certainly hope that the next ten years are filled with more peace than we’ve seen collectively this last decade. I hope that my next decade is filled with as much love, laughter, and life as the last decade has.

2001

GOALS FOR THE NEXT DECADE:

  1. Finally finish my masters!
  2. Raise happy, healthy, responsible children (ones who love each other and of course me too!)
  3. Travel
  4. Take a cooking class, or two, or three…
  5. Be more accepting of myself and be better about taking time for myself
  6. Write more
  7. Find my “dream job” even if it means inventing it!
  8. Revisit the places I’ve lived in my life
  9. Build a home to retire in
  10. Go on a honeymoon before our 20 year mark! (And of course, enjoy each other along the way!)
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Today Is Friday


I spent the whole week looking forward to Friday, waking up every morning thinking surely today has to be Friday (and it never was). And now it’s here and I feel a bit indifferent about it. But it is Friday, and there are things to be thankful for…

 

Like my oldest not plummeting off his bunkbed to his death. Ok, maybe that’s a little dramatic, but thankfully I went running down the stairs at the first shriek of Mommy! And found him hanging by his feet from the railing. Needless to say, we were both a little shaken, and a lot thankful.

I am thankful for a little girl who until recently would never have left my side willingly. This morning she quickly finished breakfast and begged her brother to go downstairs and play with her. Hugely thankful for her growing independance.

And I am thankful for the hilarity my littlest man brings to my life. The fact that he’s listening and understanding more and more every day! And the fact that he can almost always be distracted with the words, Where is the puppy?!? And he’ll almost always go off in search of beloved friend (who is in fact, a real animal)…and promptly attempt to climb on top of him.

Oh, I am also thankful for a puppy who will let Littlest E (really all of them) climb all over him with not so much as a nip or a bite. And the fact that he saves his “kisses” for the children and not for me, I’m totally thankful for that.

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Just So Ya Know


So there’s been a lot of talk around here (and by around here, I mean me, with my blah-blah-blogging) about being in a funk… well, I still feel a little bit that way, but I am crawling my way out of it. Thanks in no small part to some sweetheart of friends, family, and of course my sweetheart of a man, the hubbyman. Encouraging words have been spoken, hugs have been given, fun has been had, and while I’m still feeling my way out, I’m finding more and more about who I am, what I stand for, what I won’t stand for, and how better to support my friends and how to best let them support me as well!

When I was discussing my funk with a girlfriend, I told her how I was feeling tied down by the worry over whether or not someone would take something I said personally (like it was said about them) or that they would be offended by my words (should we happen to have different opinions). She gave me these great words, Let  people choose to read your words and what they do with them; don’t let them choose the words you say or how you feel. (Unless of course you have topic ideas- I’m totally down for that!) And then she added, Besides, if they knew you they would know that you were just trying to be supportive while talking in general. You would never call someone out like that. You aren’t *itchy enough. (Please don’t all jump out of your seats at once to disagree with her… we all occassionally have those tendencies, ok?!) But for the most part, she’s right… I haaaaaatttttttteee stirring the pot, conflict, confrontation… hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

So here it is, or here I am, in my simplest form, or my most complex… either way, just know that if I’m just  stating my OPINION, I’ll admit that. If I’m stating a FACT, I’ll say that. If I’m stating a BELIEF, I’ll own that as well. I welcome everyone’s input, advice, words of wisdom, and maybe even a little constructive criticism. (Just be gentle.) Know that my words are my own, my thoughts are my own, my beliefs are my own… obviously they’re the right ones (for me!!), but…hey, they’re mine. So take my words to heart, take them as lessons, take them as a way of passing time, take them to the bank… or leave them. I’ve been on paths others didn’t understand (and frankly, there are certainly things  and beliefs in my life that even those closest to me wouldn’t necessary understand) and I am not judging your path. I just am someone who wants to lighten the load by offering my support whenever possible. I am not going to be the end all solution, for anyone- not even myself! And that is certainly not what this blog is about. I am not going to always say the right thing, do the right thing, and heaven knows I’m probably not going to wear the right thing (because that would mean I’d have to get out of my pajamas!). But what I do have is 3 children, some good ideas, some mediocre ones, an extensive background in early childhood education along with family studies (I know, I went to school to be a mom! *shakes head/rolls eyes*), a keen sense of what can be thrown into a pot and actually taste good, a sense of humor, and a caring heart. So even if you take my words as just another mom rant, just know that somewhere in between all the lines is the heart of a woman who just wants to be comfortable in her own shoes and maybe even help someone (anyone!) else to feel a little comfortable in theirs.

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Inventive Parenting


(Things You Should Say To Parents…With More than One)

You think you know what parenting will be like before parents, and you think you’ve got it all figured out while loving on that newborn in the hospital. And then you go home. Reality sets in. This baby cries more/eats more/needs more diaper changes/is awake at night, more than you ever thought possible. And that’s just the easy stuff. You muddle through, then you have baby number two and begin to repeat the process. And it doesn’t work. Sound familiar to anyone?

Our first was really terrific. The best labor/birth out of my three. He never cried. People used to pretend to teach him what a cry sounded like, because he obviously didn’t know how to do it. Slept through the night at about 2 weeks. Ate all the time. This boy liked to eat. But while the first couple days were painful and a learning process, we quickly corrected his latch and had smooth sailing in the nursing department. Enter peanut #2. Every night she would cry for hours, no matter what I did… I felt so helpless. And so unprepared. Eventually I realized that I was treating her the way her older brother had wanted/needed to be treated, but this little girl needing something entirely different. She was picky about the way she was held and how she was laid down. It turned out she needed a couple weeks of chiropractor visits, but in general, she still needs to be parented different than her older brother. And our youngest was an entirely different baby too. He hated to be in a wet diaper. No matter how tiny the amount of wetness. He’d cry and fuss, you’d change him, and he’d be back to being a happy camper. And while the first two were what I refer to as “add water and stir” kind of babies (meaning if they were a little cranky, toss them in the water and stir and they’d be fine!), number 3 hated bath time for at least the first 9 months.

Now that they’re no longer babies, there’s a whole other level of parenting to be discovered. One thing is for sure, parenting is not a one-size-fits-all kind of a deal. You have to invent yourself as a parent with every child you have. Big E craves freedom to roam and wander. Miss E craves reassurance- that you’re still there, that she’s behaving herself, that she’s doing things right. And Littlest, well, we’re still learning, but rest assuredly, it will be something entirely different than his siblings.

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Funky Friday


So yesterday was basically the day from hell… it started off really, really well. We hung out, had a good morning. Hubbyman picked us up, so we could run errands. Grocery shopping being at the top of the list. So off we went, dropping hubby back off at work, and onto our day of adventures. I go to a fabric store to purchase some material to make NFL diapers for Littlest E (to help solve to not quite enough diapers in my arsenal problem) and of course so that he has proper attire for the beginning of the new season! So we really just take our time meandering around through there. We finally get out and there’s a fast food place with a playland in the parking lot, so we decide it would be fun to walk over and play (not eat!). This playland is a little more “tube-y” than what we’re used to. Less slides, more tunnels. Which would be fine, except that just as Big E got to the top of the tunnel maze, a group of about eight 10+ year olds (who were not small children, either) decend upon the playland like it’s the only time in their life they’re going to be able to run wild. So run wild they do. Climbing up the slides. Sitting on top of the end of the slide to land on whoever slides  down. Running everywhere. Yelling loudly. Did I mention my boy is still inside of there? I know as soon as they throw themselves into the tunnels that they are not going to be going through it slowly or gently, let alone with any awareness of small(er) children that may be playing in it as well. So I listen, because my mother heart knows my boy is afraid, and every once in a while, in between yells and shrieks, I can hear the soft crying of my scared, little boy. I can’t see him anywhere… I look all around and finally I spot him, in one little end spot, where he’s just sitting in the corner, looking terrified. He was about to go down the slide (that he’s slightly afraid of anyways) when the big kids descended like the plague. And in front of that spot seemed to be the “cool” place to be, so there they sat.  I tried to convince him to go down the slide and that I would catch him. Kicked the kid off the end of the slide (he was not going to be jumping onto my child), yelled up to the big kids at the top that I was his mama and they were to let him through. Unfortunately, what happened next was for all of them to gang up on him, trying to force him down the slide. Surrounding him in his small little area, his whole body  pushed up against the glass as far as he could, and crying. It was so heartbreaking. The kids were from some kind of program, and I respectfully spoke with their caretakers. I’m sorry, I’m really not trying to be rude. I think that they are trying to help and convince my son that he could down the slide. But he is up there and he is scared and crying, and he’s little.  They were very kind and immediately made them all come out, and took them away. (Thank You Lord!) Thankfully we’d been sitting next to a Grandma and making small talk with her (she’d sent her small grandson up to try and convince Big E to go down, but he couldn’t make his way through the big kid crowd), she looked at me and said, It’s a good thing you’re small.  I’ll sit with the babies, you go get him. And so I did. I crawled through that maze of tiny tunnels, painfully slow (and of course, I’d been wearing my white pants)… but I got to him. And he clung to me like he’d been lost in a jungle. Even going down the slide, he clung to me. It wasn’t a ride, it was a means of survival. Poor kid. You know it’s bad when your child WANTS to leave a playground of any form.

So we headed to the grocery store, which for us, means Costco. As we pull up and load into the cart, we witness a woman yelling at a boy to hurry up and come. He (loudly) tells her he really has to go potty, and he runs back into the store. Well, this woman proceeds into the parking lot, gets into her car, and leaves! Not just to circle around, waiting for the boy. No, she leaves…. turns the corner, waits at the light and leaves, as I watch awestruck. At this point the boy comes back and somberly looks around and then realized she’s left him. At first I thought she forgot him. Maybe somehow she didn’t realize he ran back in? But this poor little boy recounts his life to me, and how she’s really his aunt, but he lives with her, and his mom is too sick to take care of him, and his aunt has done this to him before… this kid was just aching for love. And it was breaking my heart. 20 minutes go by and the woman’s still not back… I go to the front desk, recount what happened, and they basically were like, Ok what do you want us to do? So I tried calling the woman (the boy could tell me her number- I’m guessing he was 7), but no answer. So the police were called. She showed up just as the police did, no acknowledgment no anything, just pulled up, looking straight ahead as the boy climbed in. The cops promised to put a call in to social services that way if there are any future reports they have this too. But since the boy told ME the things, and she (of course) said she’d just forgotten him. (By this point, I no longer believe her.) The cops do seem to believe me, but unfortunately, there was nothing else they could do either.

So I go in, do my shopping and finally get ready to leave 2 hours later… and if you’re familiar with Costco, when you leave they compare your cart with your reciept. So we walk up, wait our turn, get there… and the guy never smiles (we’ve seen him before and I’ve always thought he was not the right guy for this job- I mean, do you really want him to be the last thing that happens -and therefore you remember- before you leave the store?). Not only is he unfriendly, but Big E is sitting in the cart, and so he grabs him by the arm to move him around so he can see what’s around him. Not gently, not after saying something politely, just grabs my boy. Any other day, I would have been mad, but that would’ve been the end. Today, however, I loudly say, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY CHILD. If he needs to be moved so that you can look around, say so. DO NOT TOUCH MY CHILD.  At this point, all of my children are crying, because my outburst is so unlike me, that even they don’t know what to do. The man, without saying anything, hands me my reciept and I walk out, *unload my cart, unload the kids, climb in with Littlest E, so he can have his lunch. When he’s finished nursing, I buckle him into his car seat and head home. Only to find my bigger two screaming a few minutes later (and once we’re on the highway, of course) that I’d forgotten to actually buckle them in, and that I was not letting them be safe. (Good to know they’ve been listening about how buckling keeps them safe, but it sure felt like a punch in the gut.) So I pull over, buckle the kids (while they chastise me for forgetting. Big E informed me he was going to tell his daddy about it. I think he forgot- hey daddy…), and go home.

Yesterday, I may have been too emotion-filled to have talked with management, but you can bet that today there will be a phone call, an e-mail, and a written letter. And I may not go back to that particular Costco.  Needless to say, almost instantly, as hubby got into the truck, I burst into tears. Something about his presence, I guess. I think it’s just the knowledge that now that he’s here, I no longer have to hold it together, because I know he will.

So now, maybe you’re wondering about my Thankful Friday? I kinda was too. But here it is: I am thankful that somewhere, even though sometimes it’s buried deep inside… I do have a backbone. And that at least when it comes to my children, I have a side that I never knew I had- one that speaks her mind, stands up for the ones she loves, and will not be pushed around.  I am thankful that I have found that side of me, and only hope that I can integrate it more into the rest of my life! And I am also so, very thankful to have people I can call and say, listen to how crappy this day was… and know that they’ll listen to it fully. And that when I say, keep that little boy in your thoughts and prayers- it will be done. He’s gonna need it.

*I forgot about this when I originally wrote this post. What a delightful remembrance that just had to be included.

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Bring In Da Noise, Kick Out Da Funk


So if you read my post yesterday, you know that I’ve kind of been in a cooking funk. I don’t know if it’s the end of summer blues or just how much company we’ve had over the summer that’s left me a little burn out… as my sister-in-law says, You are the food lady. And what that means is that when you come to my house, you will be fed. I’m like your grandma (or at least my grandma)… food is one of my “love languages.” So if you come to my house, I will cook for you. If you request something, I will make it. (And I really love it when I get special requests!) At a “cousins’ dinner” I hosted last year, one of my cousins said, Who knew you’d be able to cook like this? While we all shared a laugh over it and really, I probably never would have guessed growing up that I would have cared at all about new recipes or that I’d always, always, always, have to make each and every recipe my own. I like to tell my hubbyman that he really lucked out when we got married, because at the time neither of us knew if I could really cook. (Although to a single, Navy man, anything that didn’t come from a box or a can was probably an improvement.)

So blah, blah, blah…I usually enjoy cooking, and I still have been cooking, just kind of thoughtless, easy, throw something together because I have to feed my family, kind of cooking. And while I didn’t make the eggplant chicken alfredo that I’d been planning to make, mainly because hubbyman wasn’t coming home until 7ish and I let the kids choose what they wanted for dinner. Which was phone noodles (what they call elbow noodles) and “the red sauce we like.” And can I just say what a relief it is to be able to give Miss E things with tomatoes in it again?! Whew! That poor girl! Her list of can’t haves is finally dwindling down to just a few! We’re still in the reintroduction phase, so we’re taking it slow and minimal, but so far so good!

Ok, back to me… so I found that website yesterday (from the post you read yesterday, right?) and I made them! Well, I made my version! (*grin*)

I turned the rolls into bread…and it was fabulous!

I made the frosting pink for Miss E since lots of times she gets left when it comes to deserts.

They were both phenominal! I was so impressed! Plus, I had everything I needed on hand… I guess I did a couple substitutes, but I didn’t have to run to the store for anything and they turned out great! If you want to try them, go here for the full recipe!

Notes on how mine were different: I made one batch of dough and filled one bread pan and then had enough dough left for 6 of the cream cheese rolls.

Favorite Rolls: Not only did I turn it into bread, but I didn’t have potato flakes, so I googled and found I could substitute potato flour or starch (1/2 cup flakes = 3 cups flour). I also didn’t have buttermilk, so I made my own (1 tbs lemon juice, add milk until it equals a cup. Let sit for 5 minutes. Viola!). Also since it was bread, it needed about 30 minutes. This was SO good and really very simple!

Cream Cheese Rolls: Oh this filling is so good! I made the whole batch and put the rest in the fridge- I’m thinking stuffed french toast this weekend! Or pancakes! Oh yum! So good! Anyways, you do want to make sure to push the top layer (of dough) down onto the filling, or yours will turn out like mine- with a little bubble in the middle that’s not completely filled with filling. Still good, just not quite right. And the topping, I didn’t have almond, so I just used vanilla. And I, of course, made it pink. Because my little girl hardly ever gets to partake in “deserts” and it was a way of making them special for her! She was so pleased!

GF and craving cinnamon rolls? If you’re not making the rolls/bread too, and only the cream cheese rolls, then I’d highly recommend throwing some cinnamon into the roll’s dough and if it were me, I’d throw in some almond or vanilla too. I know there’s not a lot of sugar in the dough, but I don’t think it needs more, the filling is so sweet, that it’s good without more. Definitely making these again! Yum!

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