Where Whine Meets Wine

The Tale of the Master of Distaster (And His Sidekick)

on October 18, 2012

So… you know those days where you feel like you’re so on top of it all? The dishes are done and put away. The laundry is washed, folded, and put away. The children are bathed, fed, and napping? If you do, leave. Right now. And never return. Unless you’ll tell me your secrets, and then I’ll wait patiently at your feet. Either that or I’ll out you as a bold-faced liar.

I will admit, lately, I have felt pretty on top of things. Laundry got caught up on. Dishes get washed. (Ok, so they’re not put away until the next time I need to wash more, but I can live with that.) My children have been fed. And bathed before public appearances. I even rearranged and did some redecorating of the house. For the most part I’m feeling more zen these days. More in control. More like I can actually survive having had three children in three years. (Ok, 3 and a half years)

So I did my salsa making and canning with a girlfriend. While it’s debatable whether or not it took less time to do it together, with all of the children between us, it was definitely more fun that way. Well, my dear friend is recovering from meningitis and left me all alone my own with two 5 gallon buckets of tomatoes for sauce. I got brave (or the fear of  having to admit that the tomatoes went bad before I got to them to my husband took over). I took out all of the tomatoes and set them on the bench to make sure they were all good, throw out the bad ones, etc. After I did that, I started getting out the pots and pans, and bowls and everything I needed to turn these lovely ‘maters into even more lovely pasta sauce.  And then this one called to me from her room, downstairs….

The Miss E

So I went to go help her with whatever crisis she was currently facing.

I returned to find that between these two, disaster had ensued:

Littlest E …aka The Master of Disaster

Sidekick of The Master of Disaster

What did I find when I came back upstairs? Well, I’ll tell you. I found all of my tomatoes being thrown on the floor, off the table and bench. I found the dog either trying to do a grape stomp, or eat them, catch them… whatever he was doing, he trampled them. In hindsight Littlest was probably clearing the bench and the pup was probably trying to catch them. That or they really were trying to ruin my life. Regardless. I found my tomatoes being smashed on the floor with the sidekick trampling them. Upon finding them in this state, I immediately yelled for the dog to get away from the tomatoes. I forgot our dog is a big, huge baby who gets his feelings hurt. He immediately began to pee. All over the tomatoes. The trampled, peed on tomatoes. There went any thoughts I had of rescuing them.

Thankfully, this one was a good helper during clean up.


Thankfully, a glass of wine helped. And in the end, I still love them.


Next time, I’ll just buy my pasta sauce.

7 responses to “The Tale of the Master of Distaster (And His Sidekick)

  1. flamidwyfe says:

    You are all adorable!!! Good to see a post from you xoxo

  2. winsomebella says:

    That is the funniest story I read all day. And even better because it’s true. Glad you found time to write about it because someday in the future you will be glad you did 🙂

  3. pamasaurus says:

    Oh no! The tomatoes were definitely worth this story, IMO.

    Your family is adorable, by the way!

  4. Letjoy says:

    I’m so sorry that I can’t be your back up, but don’t feel bad you gave me a good laugh

  5. Letjoy says:

    I’m sorry I couldn’t be there to be your backup, but don’t feel bad I got a good laugh out of this

  6. Wow. This totally reminds me of a somewhat relevant story from my own childhood. It was easter sunday.. and my parents were not yet out of bed. We were going to go to the church for an easter egg hunt. Somehow between the time I got up, and my parents got up.. my sister and I decided we would make wine by smashing grapes on the floor of the kitchen like that old episode of ‘I Love Lucy’.

    Needless to say, no easter egg hunting ensued and my parents were SO pissed off. LOL.

    See.. there were parallels .. just no dog pee. 🙂

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