Last night I hit a wall. There is so much stress in this house it’s palpable. Ok, maybe in me is more accurate. My hardworking husband has been working a lot of overtime for over a month now. I don’t mean to complain about his job, because I’m so thankful he has one! Let alone one he enjoys, cares about, and (even better!) one he hardly ever even complains about. It is by far the best job he’s ever had, and probably the least amount of overtime as well. So why am I complaining? Because he pretty much stopped working overtime after Littlest E was born. I’m not sure if it was just so I would survive those beginning days as a new parent of three, or just the scare of it all, but I am ever so thankful for it! Really there is only a couple hours in the day where things are a little unbearable, and thankfully it’s not every day. Unfortunately it falls when Daddy “should be” home until he actually gets home. And then the magic switch is flipped back over and my sweet children return.
And truly, knowledge is power. Because while a meltdown might ensue when it’s me vs. them… just knowing that hubbyman’s home, even if he’s doing a project or something, is enough. Seriously. It’s maddening. There’s just something about knowing that I am not quite so outnumbered. Like last night, we were all bordering on the brink of disaster while I made dinner. And wouldn’t you know it, they didn’t like it/want it. Or the second meal I created out of sheer desperation. And then Daddy walks in, they want to eat what he’s eating, and they all (truly, all 3) are in his lap and eating! (*insert growl and eye roll*) Whatever, I’m just glad they ate.
While doing dinner cleanup, we notice that the big E’s have gone mysteriously quiet. And we know the gate is up (for littlest E’s sake), so they haven’t gone down to their rooms to play, which only means one thing- they’re in the bathroom. And that’s never good. Fortunately, I probably wear make up about once a month, maybe twice…maybe not at all. Yes, it’s that often. Therefore the kids aren’t really sure what’s it’s all about, because they’re not seeing it demonstrated on a daily basis. Unfortunately, I keep “the basics” in the bathroom they were in. (The basics being lipstick, foundation, blush, eyeshadow, and mascara) I wasn’t shocked to see my MissE in some make up, what I was shocked by was the fact that the biggest E had only been an observer and not a participant.
So she had mascara all over her eyes and eyebrows, foundation on her mouth, and eye shadow on her cheeks. It took a half an hour to wash MOST of it off. Thankfully at this point it was 9:00! Bedtime!! And littlest E had just been put down for the night. So I did what any normal mom would do after an evening like this… I poured a glass of wine, grabbed my favorite magazine that I’ve been meaning to read for months, and took a nice, hot, uninterrupted bath! (Which is very rare! The previous night I tried to take a shower after they went to bed, because that’s pretty much the only time I can fit on in… only to be scared half to death by the sudden movement of the curtain and the little hands that were grabbing at my legs. I’m surprised I didn’t scream, truly.)
I love my children, I love my life with them, I love being their mom, I really love it all… but when I lose myself in them, that’s when troubles arise. Sometimes something so simple as an hour in warmth of the tub, consoled by all my own thoughts and feelings about my own things, that I can reconnect with the person I am, as an individual. And today the person I am is a refreshed, albeit tired, mommy to three sweet little kids.
And I just found where she “stashed” my makeup… it’s in the bag, just completely filled with spilled foundation, unscrewed mascara, squeezed out lipgloss, and open cases of what I think used to be eye shadow. Did I mention how sweet they are? Good thing they’re cute. *sigh*
laborofwonder 
I only have one daughter, but I can totally relate to how you can lose yourself in them and how important it is to reconnect with yourself. Thanks for your comment on my breastfeeding post over at the peaceful housewife!