Where Whine Meets Wine

A Letter To My (Former) Self

Have you ever thought about all the things that you wish you’d known: a) as a child; b) in high school; c) in college; d) when you woke up this morning? I have. More than once. Now I know that you can’t really go back and redo things otherwise you wouldn’t be where you are now… and really, I’m happy where I am now. But it would be nice if I could go back in time and at least some of the heartbreak, or worry less, or something.  And so if I could whisper in the ear of my former self, during some life-changing moments, these are some of the things I would say.

  • You will recover. You will move on. You will be safe.
  • Childhood really doesn’t last forever… enjoy every carefree moment you have.
  • Do not let anyone treat you as disposable. You are not.
  • Dispose of him. Dispose of him quickly.
  • You will not have to make excuses for someone who really loves you.
  • Be loud! Be funny! Be you and enjoy being you!
  • Their opinions of you are less important than the way you feel about being you. Focus on that.
  • You really can love your first kiss forever.
  • You can think feministically while holding on to your desire for children. You don’t have to choose one or the other.
  • You don’t have to have it all figured out all the time.
  • Marriage is going to be harder than you ever imagined and better than you ever dreamed.
  • There is an adjustment period when he comes home from a deployment. Prepare for it.
  • Your husband is never going to be able to read your mind.
  • I repeat: your husband is never going to be able to read your mind.
  • Children are going to change your views and opinions on so many things, people, and ideas.
  • Peanut butter on a spoon and applesauce will get you through your pregnancies buy in bulk.
  • Your children will make you feel like you are the most impatient person in the world. Start praying for patience now.
  • Eventually, they will start picking up their own toys.
  • Your husband will never learn the workings of a laundry basket/hamper. So just give it up.
  • The people you love will not be here indefinitely. Love them all you can, every minute.
  • Life goes by faster than you can ever imagine. So hold them close, cuddle them all you can, always be willing to dole out kisses to the owwies, keep your camera in hand, and love like crazy.

Just So Ya Know

So there’s been a lot of talk around here (and by around here, I mean me, with my blah-blah-blogging) about being in a funk… well, I still feel a little bit that way, but I am crawling my way out of it. Thanks in no small part to some sweetheart of friends, family, and of course my sweetheart of a man, the hubbyman. Encouraging words have been spoken, hugs have been given, fun has been had, and while I’m still feeling my way out, I’m finding more and more about who I am, what I stand for, what I won’t stand for, and how better to support my friends and how to best let them support me as well!

When I was discussing my funk with a girlfriend, I told her how I was feeling tied down by the worry over whether or not someone would take something I said personally (like it was said about them) or that they would be offended by my words (should we happen to have different opinions). She gave me these great words, Let  people choose to read your words and what they do with them; don’t let them choose the words you say or how you feel. (Unless of course you have topic ideas- I’m totally down for that!) And then she added, Besides, if they knew you they would know that you were just trying to be supportive while talking in general. You would never call someone out like that. You aren’t *itchy enough. (Please don’t all jump out of your seats at once to disagree with her… we all occassionally have those tendencies, ok?!) But for the most part, she’s right… I haaaaaatttttttteee stirring the pot, conflict, confrontation… hate it. Hate it. Hate it.

So here it is, or here I am, in my simplest form, or my most complex… either way, just know that if I’m just  stating my OPINION, I’ll admit that. If I’m stating a FACT, I’ll say that. If I’m stating a BELIEF, I’ll own that as well. I welcome everyone’s input, advice, words of wisdom, and maybe even a little constructive criticism. (Just be gentle.) Know that my words are my own, my thoughts are my own, my beliefs are my own… obviously they’re the right ones (for me!!), but…hey, they’re mine. So take my words to heart, take them as lessons, take them as a way of passing time, take them to the bank… or leave them. I’ve been on paths others didn’t understand (and frankly, there are certainly things  and beliefs in my life that even those closest to me wouldn’t necessary understand) and I am not judging your path. I just am someone who wants to lighten the load by offering my support whenever possible. I am not going to be the end all solution, for anyone- not even myself! And that is certainly not what this blog is about. I am not going to always say the right thing, do the right thing, and heaven knows I’m probably not going to wear the right thing (because that would mean I’d have to get out of my pajamas!). But what I do have is 3 children, some good ideas, some mediocre ones, an extensive background in early childhood education along with family studies (I know, I went to school to be a mom! *shakes head/rolls eyes*), a keen sense of what can be thrown into a pot and actually taste good, a sense of humor, and a caring heart. So even if you take my words as just another mom rant, just know that somewhere in between all the lines is the heart of a woman who just wants to be comfortable in her own shoes and maybe even help someone (anyone!) else to feel a little comfortable in theirs.