Where Whine Meets Wine

Why My Daughter Doesn’t Have a Mirror In Her Room

Have you ever been in a house so filled with mirrors that after you leave, you’re thinking, Man, I’ve seen enough of myself for a really long time… Maybe I’m the only one. I’m guessing not. I just do not like mirrors. I mean, I like that they can shine light throughout places where there is no natural light. And that I can see if I’ve got my head screwed on straight or not. Obviously, they have their place.

Maybe it’s in part the fact that I am not someone who checks the reflection before running out of the house. If I happened to consider whether or not I’ve done my hair today, I just grab a hat. (I’m not knocking women who take the time before they leave the house, it’s just not the way I am wired.) Messy shirt? Grab a sweatshirt! Are you starting to get the picture?


Now, there is my daughter. She is beautiful. Curly auburn hair with eyes that match. Spunky and oh, so cute. And I have this super cute mirror that I have been dying to paint and put in her room. One that I had in my room growing up. One that came from a beloved Grandma. BUT… I just don’t wanna put a mirror in her room. Not because I’m afraid she’ll be vain. If she wants to put on every single princess dress and prance in front of a mirror- I’m good. Know what I’m not good with? The way she stands on the couch and smiles her big toothy, yet toothless grin and painstakingly takes stock on how many more teeth is she going to loose, how long will there be an empty spot, and what if they don’t come in perfectly straight?! Now I’m not sure where my 7 year old got that notion from, that her smile looks funny. But it’s there, in her pretty little head. And I just think that there is so much more to her then whether every tooth is exactly straight. And I want her to know that there are things that are SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT. Like most things.

After a brief chat about her standing there, staring at her teeth, I wrote her this note:


It is easy to get wrapped up in being pretty. Today, let’s focus on being pretty KIND, pretty FUNNY, pretty SMART, and pretty STRONG. That would be pretty AMAZING.

I’m hoping she takes note. Because she is kind (if she thinks I’m stressed she’ll leave her play and help me, no questions asked), and funny (and sarcastic), and smart (as a whip), and strong (she can probably do more chin ups than you can), and amazing, and beautiful. But I don’t think that just pretty should be the word that describes her. And the words that do, well, you might not find them in the mirror.

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