funny things kids say | laborofwonder

Football For Life!

by motherofwonder

I am a girl who very much likes football. Really. My whole little family could be a walking Viking commercial. (In looking for pictures to post, I found I had more pictures of us in Viking gear than I thought and had a hard time choosing!) I like football, in general,so much I will (willingly) watch games that are not featuring “my team.” Now before the rest of my contemporaries throw me under the bus for “betraying my kind,” know that it is a great bonding time with my hubbyman, one that the kids have gotten in on. Seriously, Big E would sit and watch a whole game with his daddy when he was too little to be watching tv! And they love “our” team so much that they have a hard time accepting that a) there are any other teams, b) anyone would cheer for any other team, and c) that their beloved Vikings could not win a game. (All Viking fans have this problem, I’m sure. Please, withhold your laughter. It’s bad enough to be a fan. Don’t kick us while we’re down.) I came across this video via the f’book this morning and laughed watching it…and I assure you, you will too. And if you’re not laughing, you are probably commiserating.

This is just too hilarious, sad, and true…and anyone that knows my children, knows how easily this could have been a video of one of them (I know I already said this, but it bears repeating!)! In fact, when I showed them this video, they responded in 3 ways:

Watching a game with daddy. Really.

Big E: The Vikings show? Is it time for the Viking show now?

Me: No, that was a couple days ago.

Big E: Did you forget to tell me what time it was?

Me: No, you watched a little bit of it, but you were watching a movie in the playroom instead.

Big E: I don’t think you told me the Viking show was on. Daddy would have wanted me to watch the Viking show with him. He likes me to see them win and do the touchdown.

Me: I know he does. But the Vikings didn’t win this time.

Big E: (getting very upset) Yes, they did.

Me: I wish they had, trust me, but they didn’t win this time.

Big E: I am never going to trust you because I did want them to win and I didn’t want to watch a movie instead of the Viking show.

MissE in Viking apparel via Grama

Miss E: Why is that little girl crying?

Me: Because she wanted the Vikings to win.

Miss E: Did they not do many touchdowns?

Me: No, they did not do many touchdowns.

Miss E: (begins to cry) but I only like it when the Vikings win.

Me: I know, me too.

Miss E: (Throws herself on the couch, while crying) You should never say the Vikings didn’t win. They only win.

Daddy and "the big 2"- before they were big

Littlest E: (pointing at computer screen) Baby

Me: She’s bigger than you. You are the baby.

Littlest E: (pointing at computer screen) Baby! (pointing at himself) Big boy!

Me: This argument is going to go as well as the Vikings loss…

Littlest at a Viking's game!

Even my littlest man thinks it's shocking how bad the Vikes are this year!

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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How We Survive

by motherofwonder

So as I was doing the dishes, I thought I was overhearing a rather sweet moment passing between Littlest E and MissE. I poked my head into the living room to catch them in a hug, smiled at their sweetness, and went back to the dishes. Only to catch the last few words of what MissE was actually saying.

That’s right you little boy, I’m never going to let you go. You’re not going to get passed me and get my dolly.

That’s right that sweet moment I’d just witnessed was really a hostage situation. She was afraid he was going to get her doll (probably with good reason, they do tend to want whatever toy is prized.) and she was going to do anything she could to make sure that didn’t happen. Apparently including keeping him clamped in her grip. Finally Littlest started to fuss and complain about the hostage situation and so I poked my head back in. saying, “Miss E, you know if you’d let go of your brother you’d have a free hand to actually play with your dolly.” To which she scrunched up her pretty little face, heaved a huge sigh, and spouted off with, Ahh! This is never going to work! I tried to stifle my laughter and asked her, What isn’t going to work? I want to play with Littlest. Well, it looks like he wants to play with you too. But he keeps touching my toys. You want him to play with you without touching the toys? Yeah. I just want him to watch me play with my toys. That’s how he can play with me.

With his ever-perfecting comedic timing, Littlest walks back in with his sister’s trash can, takes one look at her, shakes his head, and sticks the basket on his head (it goes to his belly) and walks out. *Sigh* I know how he feels. So if you happen to see me walking around with a trash can or basket on my head, don’t worry about it, it’s a means of survival around here.

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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Wheelin’ And Dealin’

by motherofwonder

So I’m trying to make a deal with Littlest E about wearing his diapers, and if he’s not wearing them, where he should be going potty. Right now it seems like we’re at floor 12 – potty 4. He really is young for potty training, but he hates diapers. He takes them off as soon as a droplet of anything hits the diaper, if he leaves it on long enough for any droplets to hit. He frequently can be found stripping off his diaper and then taking aim at the floor. Thankfully it’s just the pee version that hits the floor. The other form of potty is saved for the actual potty. Which is awesome! I should mention, he is 15 months old, so the fact that he uses and wants to use, and requests to use, the potty at all is pretty freakin’ amazing/exciting. So how exactly do you make a deal with a 15 month old? I’m not sure. If you have any ideas, feel free to send them my way! I’m thinking I’ll test out duct tape and super tight pants. Skinny jeans would be hard to peel off (especially over cloth diapers!), right?? Maybe I could make pants with the duct tape? Lets see him shimmy outta that!

As soon as I’d typed these words in, I turned around to see Littlest Man sans diaper and hunched over….

Me: Ah!! *Littlest E*!!

MissE: Mom, he doesn’t like diapers. But don’t let him go potty on the floor. That’s gross.

Me: I know.

MissE: Then don’t let him do that.

Me: I didn’t let him do that.

MissE: Then why didn’t you put him on the potty?

Me: I thought he was wearing a diaper, and he’s still kinda little to understand when to use the potty. And Ididn’t think he could get his diaper off while it was under his pants.

MissE: You were wrong.

Me: Obviously. Let’s get his diaper with the snaps, and go find some duct tape.

In other news, we may be getting some snow tonight and tomorrow… any chance anyone knows a good deal I can make to have two summers in a row, instead?

Happy Monday folks! May your day be filled with clean clothes, fresh food, and dry floors.

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

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Funny Bunny, Silly Goose (Or Dragon)

by motherofwonder

Did everyone have a terrific Halloween? I enjoyed our weekend soooo much!! Friday we spent it with good friends!! (I’m pretty sure the kids thoroughly worse them out as the big 2 had him being their personal horsey all evening and Littlest E has declared her his favorite person!) We are so blessed to have friends that are so much like family to us and our children. Saturday I don’t know why, but I just woke up kind of cranky. (Probably the limited number of hours I actually slept!) It didn’t help that Littlest E refused to nap until a most inconvenient time. But it worked out fine in the end, hubbyman sent me out without baby, and i got to enjoy some errand running and margaritas with some very lovely ladies. I was in a good mood again by the time I returned home! (Sometimes I just need a brief reprieve!) Followed by an evening of a bonfire, roasting marshmallows and hotdogs with one of my favorite cousins! Ok, so actually, I watched from the window and he and Erik did this with the “big kids.” I did so, because Littlest E is not afraid of fire. In fact, he looooves it. And it is impossible to keep him up on the bench or in your arms because he’s kind of a strongwilled boy. I quickly became tired of fighting him and just went inside. I was a little cranky about this fact, but he and I really had a nice, quiet time. And I played Mario while he yelled “It’s a go!” Sunday Funday was a lot of fun. Miss E, Littlest E, and I went out to run some errands and pick up some last minute candy while Hubbyman and Big E designed and carved pumpkins.

hubbyman's pumpkin (Big E gave detail suggestions- like the scar)

What he looked like all lit up!

Monday was an action packed day! I had high hopes of accomplishing more than was humanly possible. It didn’t go so well. But by noon I did have dinner made (well, cooking in the crockpot) and the kids and I made Black Velvet Cupcakes (the same as red velvet, just without the food coloring). We had one brief moment of panic as I found the sweatshirt part of Big E’s costume was missing…. after tearing apart lots of rooms, closets, and tearing through our vehicle in a frantic search, I remembered I’d put it in my room so he wouldn’t play with it/misplace it before Halloween. Thankfully, crisis averted and the rest of the evening went off without a hitch! They even had family and friends come to see them all dressed up. Here are some highlights that made walking in the chill of the evening worthwhile:

Littlest E waving at everyone who’d come to the door and shouting bumble, bumble, bumble! Bee!

It had little wings in the back. He was not thrilled with it. He did however appreciate when he found out the arms had gloves attached.

Miss E is probably our shiest child. (Until you get to know her, at that point we have no quiet children.) The first few houses were our neighbors, that she knows, and when it would come time to say “Thank you!” for the candy she’s just been given, she’d look at them and say (to them), I’m too shy to say thank you! and then run away… thankfully they know her and just laughed and by the time we got to houses where she didn’t actually know them she’d loosened up… by the 4th house (that was answered by a woman in an 80s outit, complete with hair) she chimed in with her brother to shout Trick or treat! And then when the lady answered the door she (very loudly) exclaimed, You have weird hair! So much for being shy…

Share Bear the CareBear

And when asked what she was, Big E exclaimed, She’s a carebear! Don’t you see her belly badge?! The lady at the door commented on Big E’s cool tail. At which point My sweet little girl turned around, bent over, stuck her butt in the air, wiggled it around and said, Yeah and I have a little tail! (this was all at the same house, the lady laughed a lot during our brief interaction.) We’ve watched Gnomeo and Juliet a few times this last month and so when Big E saw his Papa had put on a hat that stood up of his head, he was so excited! He told his Papa, I didn’t know you were going to be a Gnome for Halloween!

Dragon Boy (With his black velvet cupcake!)

And then these are just two more of my favorite photos of the night, and they seemed too good not to share!

Hubbyman and the boys

my little trick or treators!

What was your favorite part of Halloween? Mine was listening to all the funny things they said! Do you do store-bought or homemade costumes? Littlest E’s is storebought (MissE worse it 2 years ago!), but Big E and Miss E’s were made with love! And lots of man hours (literally- hubbyman made them! I knew what I wanted them to look like, and he has the patience and perfectionism to get them there!)

Family Life According To Me Marriage Things Kids Say

The Skinless People

by motherofwonder

So I woke up today tired…I know, it’s shocking, right?! Ok, so it’s not shocking. But, I did wake up in a good mood and am finding delight in lots of things this morning. Like the fact that I remembered to buy more good coffee, so I don’ t have to gulp down hubbyman’s super dark roast. Or the smiles I get when the kids discover that I restocked our oatmeal supply, along with our supply of bananas! Littlest E was not as impressed with his own food and therefore got his breakfast from sneaking spoonfuls (and occasionally fist fulls) of his siblings’ food. Thankfully, his siblings didn’t seem to mind. They just sat there, the three of them, in a row, blissfully eating their breakfast. Or wearing it, depending on your point of view.

Because I’m finding delight in things, I thought I’d share a few things that maybe you would find some delight in too.

Last weekend, I was driving home from my parents, with all the kiddos in tow. It’s about an hourish drive. Which is just long enough to get lots of good stories in. It started with them asking me to tell them the story about when I used to have “a work” to go to… and then they started talking. MissE is crying (yet again) because she doesn’t want to leave Earth, and she doesn’t want to die. And Big E is excitedly talking about how he wants to go to Heaven. He just wants to go and see God’s face. (At which point his sister informs him that he doesn’t have to die to do that, he could just open up and try and see his heart.) He just kind of looks at her sister, and then asks, If I open me up, will I die and go to heaven? I ask him why he wants to go heaven right now, and this conversation followed:

I really just want to see God. And to see all the people who don’t have skin anymore and are just bones.

Um, what?

You know, when you die all your skin melts off and you’re just bones.

(Insert Miss E crying and saying:) I want to keep my skin! Can we tell God to just make Earth be the Heaven and let us keep our skin, and give the already died people back their skin?

Family Life According To Me Things Kids Say

Oh For The Love!

by motherofwonder

What is something that mom always says to you? MissE: you say I love you all the times. BigE: Pick up.
What makes mom happy? MissE: not naughty. BigE: When it’s picked up.
What makes mom sad? MissE: yelling. BigE: When I don’t pick up.
How does mom make you laugh? MissE: tickle me. BigE: tickles, you make me laugh by tickling.
What was mom like when she was a child? MissE: you liked to play. like grandma before she turned into a grandma. BigE: you liked toys.
How old is mommy? she holds up 3 fingers then asks, Are you the age just like I am? BigE: holds up five fingers and asks, this old?
How tall is mommy? MissE: reaches down and touches my toes and then tries to reach my head and says, That’s how tall you are. BigE: Puts hand on top of my head.
What is mommy’s favorite thing to do? MissE: Clean up (I think she’s confusing how I want to spend my time with how I actually spend my time!) BigE: grocery shopping.
What does mommy do when you’re not around? MissE: I don’t know, if I’m not there I can’t see you. BigE: I don’t know. what do you do when I’m not there?
What would mommy be famous for? MissE: for ducks (I have no idea what this means or where she’s going with it… I do know that she thinks this is way too many questions.) BigE: picking up.
What’s mommy good at? MissE: tickling. BigE: cooking.
What is mommy not very good at? MissE: flowers. BigE: Driving airplanes.
What is mommy’s job? MissE: play with me. BigE: picking up
How are you and mommy the same? MissE: being girls. BigE: I don’t know.
How are you and mommy different? MissE: being girls (I’m thinking she doesn’t quite understand “different”). BigE: I’m tootie.
What do you and mom like to do together? MissE: Play in the water or go to the store. BigE: grocery shop.
What is mommy’s favorite food? MissE: chicken. BigE: coffee.
If mom were a cartoon character who would she be? MissE: you. BigE: a dancer.
How do you know mom loves you? MissE: from me. BigE: the kissin’
Where is mommy’s favorite place to go? MissE: the farmer’s market, the store, and your friends’ house. BigE: the grocery shop.
What makes you proud of your mom? MissE: when you give me cereal, that is when I am proud of you. BigE: Mooom, I never get proud. (he seems to think “getting proud” is a bad thing.)

I’d asked Big E these questions when he was just under 2 and just thought it would be fun to go through and ask them again and see their responses. Overall I think they thought it was a)silly and b)too many questions. But it was fun to watch them as they thought over some of the questions, you know, the ones they actually put thought into.