Where Whine Meets Wine

She’s Not Qualified

I know, I know… it’s been a week, and I haven’t posted anything. I promise you I’ve been using my extra free time for good. I witnessed the birth of my nephew, I’ve visited with him multiple times (I keep threatening to -gently- shove him in my shirt and take him home with me.) and can’t get enough of him! I’ve had my grandma from out-of-state here visiting. It’s so fun to watch my children getting to know her, and her them. It’s just so sweet. My sister-in-law and nephew also came in for a surprise visit from China! And I’ve gotten to meet and/or talk to some really lovely mamas-to-be about providing my doula services to them! It’s been a fantastic week!

We’ve got a fun family wedding this afternoon, and the “big” Es are at their grandparents’ house to visit with their cousin, so we are soaking up Littlest and all his dramatic flair- he’s currently a dinosaur.

Before I go, I want to tell you about a post I was tagged in on Facebook this morning. A friend of mine got a card from another friend, and she uploaded a photo of what it said and tagged me. I loved it SO much that I decided I couldn’t help but share it:

she said “So! you’re a stay at home mom…”

in a way that insinuated

she wouldn’t be caught dead in that job

…and I laughed until I cried


I knew

she wasn’t qualified.

Have a wonderful weekend and remember that sometimes

how you’ve enjoyed your life is more important than what things you got done!


I’m Thankful

Today I am feeling tired. A little worn down. I’m sure it’s just because we stayed up really late last night. But I am looking forward to an extra little snuggley one tonight (a friend watched my little ones last night and tonight I’m watching hers!), and the kids have been practically pacing the floors waiting for her! And I do have lots to be thankful for.

I’m thankful for hubbyman and his new opportunities. Especially because this new position means not only a title bump, but it’s closer to home (3 miles!), it’s less hours, and it’s learning some new things (which he loves)! I’m very excited for him, and for us! And I’m very much looking forward to having him be around more!!

I’m thankful for friends! Who watch the kids, who play with the kids, that the kids totally love. MissE keeps saying, Mom, I really like it when My Big Cloth Adventure* watches me. I think she was hoping that instead of us watching her little one tonight that instead I would leave again. It’s so nice to know that I have some options with the kids! And… it was the FIRST TIME my children have been babysat by someone who was not a grandparent or aunt/uncle!! For any of them! While I did check my phone fairly frequently, I did not call, not even once- because I knew they were perfectly ok. And I knew that if they weren’t, I’d get a phone call!  (*obviously, Miss said her actual name, but I won’t!)

I am thankful for family! My grandma is here from out-of-state and while I haven’t gotten much of a chance to visit so far, I am looking forward to more time visiting!!

I am thankful that whatever yuckiness had taken over my household, is finally gone. Biggest looks like he’s lost a little big of weight, so I am feeding him peanut butter by the spoonful! And meals pretty much ’round the clock! But I am incredibly thankful to have my sweet boy back!

I'm thankful for a Biggest Boy who loves to take pictures. Every time I upload them, I am amused by some of my findings.

I am thankful for my sweet little girl and all her girly-ness. And the people that love her, and cater to that. She's even gotten an uncle or two to pain her nails.

I am thankful for a little boy who could find candy in the dark, with his hands tied behind his back.

I am thankful for a boy who is sweet, sensitive, and has a personality very much like mine. I totally "get" him.

I am thankful for sweet, nutella-covered kisses.

I am thankful for my children who like to get all dressed up... and then go to the playground, or play in the dirt.

Happy Friday to you and may you find lots of things to be thankful for this weekend!

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Just Run

I woke up this morning not feeling so hot. I’m hoping it’s just my allergies, and not whatever Biggest had. Because a)Hubby got a promotion/new position and they’re having a happy hour for him that I get to attend (which means we also have a babysitter! Thanks My Big Cloth Adventure!), b)I’m supposed to watch the Little Pumpkin that belongs to the mama from My Big Cloth Adventure on Friday night. and lastly (and probably most importantly!) I am awaiting “the call” from my sister-in-law to let me know it’s time to get my doula shoes on and go! So let’s all cross our fingers, say a prayer, send out some light and love… and have me not be sick! I am actually feeling a ton better than when I woke up, so I *think* I’m in the clear! My grandma is in town from another state, to hopefully be around for the baby’s birth, so I have been staying up late trying to get things in order and cleaned and prepared so that I can steal her away from my parents for a couple of days! Things are now all organized! (I even reorganized my pantry closets!)  I just have some CLEANING to do (you know, dusting, vacuuming, mopping… the fun stuff.) Anyways, I thought maybe you would enjoy this snippet of conversation as much as I did!

MissE: Why do we have to walk everywhere?

Me: We don’t have to. We like to. And the store is really close, so why not walk.

MissE: Can’t we just drive?

Me: Well, Daddy’s at work, so he has the truck.

MissE: Can’t Daddy just walk to work?

Me: No, it’s too far to walk. It would take too long.

MissE: Then he should just run.          

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Simple and Impressive

For a fantastic dinner, first you start with…

One very delicious margarita.

Next you get the main course going…

Yes, it did taste as good as it looks!

1 whole chicken (3 1/2 to 4 lb)

2 tbs butter, melted

1 tsp salt

1/2 tsp garlic powder

1 tsp ground ginger

1/2 tsp pepper

1 tsp brown sugar

2 tbs soy sauce

1 tbs worcestershire sauce

2 tbs orange muscat wine (you can use 2 tbs frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed)

1. Heat oven to 375. Brush whole chicken with butter; sprinkle with salt, garlic powder, pepper, and half of the ginger (1/2 tsp). Place chicken in shallow roasting pan. 2. Roast chicken uncovered for 30 minutes. Meanwhile, in a small bowl, mix the other half of the ginger (1/2 tsp), brown sugar, soy sauce, worchestershire sauce, and the orange wine. (Don’t forget a sip for yourself, you know, just taste testing.) 3. Remove chicken from oven. Brush mixture over chicken. 4. Return to oven; roast uncovered 20 minutes. Brush remaining mixture over chicken and squash; cover loosely with foil, and roast 30 minutes longer. (Until thermometer reads 180 and legs move easily when lifted or twisted.)

While the main course is going, you get some sides together:

Really yummy ears of corn.


Watermelon, Cantaloupe, and Strawberries. Served with an incredibly delicious cream cheese fruit dip.

And it was fantastic! We’d had so many grey days that I need a meal to make me feel like it was summer- and this did the trick! And I loved it so much that I’ve decided not to wait until Thursday to share it!

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Well, This Is Fun

So after a busy, very full weekend (Can I say that if Saturday was the only busy, full day? It was really busy and full!)… and we like things to end with a bang around here. Unfortunately, Sunday’s “bang” came in the form of Biggest getting a stomach bug that really got the best of him. I sat in front of the computer screen yesterday, willing myself the energy to type, but when you go to bed at 6am and get up a couple hours later… blech. Biggest seemed much better by afternoon, and by evening we’d thought he really kicked it. Until he marched into our room at 5am to inform us that he really needed to throw up. I, of course, was like, Go, child! Go! He did sleep in until 10 and I’m hoping to do a better job of encouraging him to nap today. He claims he’s all better today, but it still unwilling to eat. He is very thirsty, so that’s a start. Anyone else feel like this last month or so has just been on kid getting sick after another? I feel that way.

And I was totally on a roll and knew *exactly* what I wanted to say today… and then the Jehovah Witness folks rolled up and squashed my momentum. *Sigh*

For those of you parents out there (AND Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Babysitters, Nannies), do you ever struggle with finding projects or things for you kids to do when they’re still sick enough to stay home and out of the public, but not sick enough that they feel like sitting still? C’mon, it can’t just be me! Well, this last weekend my sweet little family, along with some friends, attended The Great Cloth Diaper Change. It was fun! They had an awesome table that was brought by Let’s Talk Kids, who’s byline is Giving you the tools to raise healthy, happy children. They have a variety of ideas for activities, arts & crafts, recipes, and more! And they e-mail you weekly with a new activity/recipes/answers to frequently asked caregiver questions! It’s pretty awesome!

Their activity at the Change? Take a circle of paper, I’d think construction paper would work best (that’s what they used). Put a few drops/glops of different colors of paint all over the circle and….. get this, you stick in a salad spinner! I have a cheap, plastic one (I’m totally going to get more, just for this purpose!) so I am more than fine with it going the way of the kids! And it makes a really fun design out of the paint, after being spun. I, of course, forgot my children’s art pieces, but never fear, we will be doing this again!

I was going to let the kids do this again now, but Biggest is back to putting the basin I carried around in pregnancy to good use. (Sad face) Hopefully he can keep something down today so he doesn’t have to go in for an IV. *big sigh*

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The Peanut To My Butter

I am so excited that it’s Friday I could just sing…or dance! And I just might! We sing and dance while we clean, and little do they know- that’s the plan for today. A good ‘ol cleaning cleverly disguised as a dance party! I love it! If you tell me you’ve never had a dance party while cleaning not only will I not believe you (c’mon, I know you’ve let a move bust through the tunes while cleaning.), but I will defriend you. Unfriend. Whatever, we’ll be through. If you really haven’t. Crank up some of your favorite tunes from when you were in high school… and find yourself a’dancing! And then we can remain friends.

Now back to our regular programming.., I was so happy just a few minutes ago, and it seems my mood is fading fast. I’d better get to cleaning dancing as fast as I can so that I don’t lose my good mood completely. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

So now we’re really back to our regular programming. It’s Friday, and I’m thankful. After a weekend that felt like it lasted a week, I’d never been so excited to see my children. 4 days was at least a day too long to be separated from them! But I am very thankful for my parents (and littlest brother) for having them, and the kids had so much fun. It’s very apparent our separation was much harder on the mama than the children.

Mostly, I am thankful for hubbyman. I wasn’t sure he was so supportive of me becoming a doula, but he has been amazing. During the weekend he’d make me a drink, and let me debrief. And he’d get up and make breakfast, and more importantly, coffee, before I’d head back in. After 6 hours worth of driving, 21 hours of sitting on the floor trying to soak in every word, and 3 hours of coffee runs… it left me completely exhausted. Mentally, physically, and definitely emotionally. Hubbyman has been so great. He’s put the big kids to bed and come up to find me still cuddling with littlest (What? After the weekend, I needed some extra cuddles!) and has taken him and put him to bed as well. And encouraged me to have some down time, some quiet time, and that it was ok to do so. He has done that almost every night this week. The first night I fell asleep on the couch, and the nights after that I’ve only spent maybe an extra hour awake and up, lounging on the couch. But it has been amazing for my own self. I actually have slept better, and better yet- I wake up, feeling like I actually got some sleep! And I am really shocked by how much more patience I have during the day. Apparently, I was really needing some down time. Where I’m not mom, and I’m not in charge, and even if it’s just mindlessly watching TV, I’m allowing myself some time to unwind, relax, and just be. And apparently, that’s exactly what I’ve been needing. I am so thankful to my hubbyman, for allowing and encouraging me to have some time for myself. (It’s like he knows me or something.)

Not only has he allowed me some time, but he was been incredibly supportive. He recently accepted a new position within his company and has promised to find ways that I could attend births, without having to stress over childcare, because he’d simply come home and stay with the kids. He is an incredibly hard worker and in his previous position they kind of let him do what he wants because of that- I’m hoping his next boss feels that way too! I will be doing daytime childcare for friends starting late fall/early winter, and so I’m trying to get all the births in that I can before then! (I have 3 on the books between now and then.) A local hospital has a great program where they offer doula services. While it’s unpaid, it would be a chance to get a good number of births under my belt, and stay active in the birthing community, and be able to schedule it. I’m going to wait a few months into doing childcare before officially signing up (I don’t want to over extend myself), but I’m very excited. And I love how supportive hubby is. He understands why I want to do it, and believes in it whole-heatedly. And is truly willing to explore every avenue possible so that I can do and achieve things that I want/believe in. It’s incredibly endearing. If I am successful in anything (be it professional or personal), a great portion of it is because I have his support. And I am so grateful.

Photo Credit:

And now we’re off to my dance party! I hope you all have wonderful, dancing weekends as well!

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Monkey Bread Madness

Do to my love of all things Pinterest, I have an ever growing list of foods I want to make. Well, after looking through my fridge, I decided on pizza… and then I remembered this. Monkey breadish pizza. (Seriously, the pictures are so good it’s no wonder they’re on pinterest for the rest of us to drool over!)

Looks fantastic, right? Photo Credit: Confections of a Foodie Bride. (You can go there for the original recipe too.)

In the morning, Big E had called one of his uncles asking him if he could come over and play. So just as I was gathering up things for dinner making, I got a phone call asking if I’d mind some visitors for dinner time. And we were so happy they could join us.

photo credit: Biggest E

I will admit that this took a little longer to make than I originally expected. With some organization -or an extra pair of hands- it could be done a lot more seamlessly. Overall, I did find this a great way to use up some leftovers! The original recipe used cubes of mozzarella, and pepperoni. I had neither. I did have shredded mozzerella, bacon, and chicken… all just sitting in my fridge, begging to be used before they went bad.

First things first, though… the pizza dough.

  • 2/3 cup brown rice flour
  • 2/3 cup white rice flour
  • 1 1/3 cup tapioca flour
  • 2 tsp fine sea salt
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 2 tsp xantham gum
  • 2 cup water
  • 2 tbs extra-virgin olive oil
  • 2 tsp cider vinegar

Combine the flours, salt, baking powder, and xantham gum in a large bowl. In another bowl, blend the water, olive oil, and vinegar and whisk to mix. Pour the liquid ingredients of the flour mixture. Stir hard, briefly, to make a smooth, soft batter. Occasionally, I have to add a little more flour to get the batter so that it holds it’s shape. If more flour is necessary, I use tapioca flour, and add it in a tbs at a time.

Step Two

  • 4 tbs butter
  • 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
  • 6 oz mozzarella cheese
  • 1 cup shredded/chopped chicken
  • 1/4-1/2 package bacon
  • 3 cups marinara sauce, for dipping

Heat garlic and butter over medium heat just until the garlic begins to brown. Remove from heat and let sit. Lightly brush the inside of a bundt pan  with garlic butter. Pull off large marble-sized balls of dough and flatten- trying to stay consistent with the size. Top with a sprinkling of mozzarella cheese (I used shredded but you could certainly use cubes. Might be easier to seal with cubes instead of shredded.), chicken, and bacon. Wrap the dough around the toppings, pinching well to seal. Very lightly brush the pizza ball with garlic butter and place into the bundt pan. Repeat until all of the dough is used. Cover and let sit for 30 minutes, while preheating the oven to 400 degrees. Bake for 30-40 minutes, until the top is very brown. Remove from the oven and let sit for 10 minutes. Turn out onto a platter and serve with warmed marinara sauce for dipping.

Not a terrific picture, but you get the idea.

These were so good… super filled. And they went fast.

Ok, so I have a confession- the photos, and story, are actually from December… but for some reason I never posted. So, today seemed like perfect day to get back in the foodie saddle! Because a)it’s cold and grey out today, which makes me think about warm, yummy food. And b) my 3 little ones are all cuddled in a blanket together on the couch. Their being so sweet I’m a little worried they’re plotting something. Seriously, they’re all snuggled in, sharing a blanket and pillow. Giving each other hugs and occasional kisses on each others’ cheeks. So I’m going to be spending time soaking all this sweetness in.)

*I just wanted to add that I made this recipe again tonight and it was even better than I remembered. Biggest and Miss helped me, and I’m not sure if they added more water/oil or what, but I did end up adding about a full cup extra of GF all-purpose flour before I could actually get it to be the consistency I needed. But they weren’t too dense or too floury or anything. They were perfect. That said… after hubby helped himself to them right out of the pan (hence no new, great photos), I discovered the bottom layer ones were not cooked through all the way- they were still a little doughy, so I threw them in for about 5 more minutes. I just didn’t want anyone trying this out and feel like I sold ’em a bag of worms! (Because that would be just gross)


The Doula Houla

I know, I know, you’ve been waiting with baited breath. Just waiting for me to write another post. Pour out everything about how my weekend went. Surprisingly, I don’t feel like it. I know, I know…it’s weird. I think that it all just feel really personal, and maybe I’m not ready to share that just yet. Sound strange coming from someone who blogs? Yeah, felt a little strange saying it.

Yesterday, I spent a full hour staring at the screen. Never getting more than the above paragraph out. I still feel like I’m at a loss for words. Helping someone birth, and apparently, even the preparation for doing so, is much like giving birth yourself. It’s emotional, it’s physical, it’s beautiful. And it’s very personal.

My weekend was so incredibly amazing. I was truly surprised at the diversity in women. And I don’t mean just racially or culturally even. There were all ages. While I was not the oldest, I was definitely not the youngest. Actually, I was probably in the top half of the age bracket. Another thing that surprised me was that half of the class were not mothers. They just loved pregnancy/pregnant women, babies, and birthing. And wanted to learn more about it.

Let’s face it. For those of us who are mamas, our birthing stories are highly personal. So much so, that they affect how we feel about ourselves. A mama who had a birth that left her feeling like Wonder Woman? Well, studies have shown that it can turn a previously low-self-esteemed woman into someone with much more confidence in herself. A woman with good self esteem and then has a birth that made her feel out of control and like it happened to her (rather than something she chose), well, studies have also shown that that will knock her self-esteem down a few pegs.

I think that I am also more aware of my role, as a doula, in doing all that I can to make sure that it’s a birth they can look back on in pride. Always keeping the How will she remember this? in the forefront of my mind as I offer suggestions and support. Obviously, I can’t birth for them. And births can kind of have a mind of their own… I’ve certainly had a birth that did not go the way I’d planned in my mind. It’s all about support.

I have received some awesome support this last week. Support of my friends encouraging me (and saying they’ll use me for their next babies!), my husband who listened to me unload and process through all the information and feelings at the end of each late night. Support of my family who kept my babies for a weekend. (The kids had a blast. I’m still feeling the repercussions of being separated for so long. I feel like it was too long- for me!) I am thankful for the wonderful women I trained with (and the oh so amazing wonder woman who led our training). They were a support, a help, a community. Some women had some great stories about birthing their babes, and others shed tears as they told theirs. As women, I think when our births don’t go according to plan, we tend to feel like failures. I mean it’s birth, it’s kind of what we do. What our bodies just know how to do. There is a lot of deep-seated emotions that go along with the thought I failed at something my body is supposed to be able to do instinctively, on its own. 

If you can’t tell already, I’m still processing some of my own feelings about birth. I’m learning to let it go. To accept it was it was. And to focus on some positives. Like the fact that when I wasn’t scared out of my gourd in previous births -especially my first- I felt like a rock star. I labored quietly in the night, letting my hubbyman get some sleep. I was relaxed enough to sleep in between contractions during the day, so much that the day seemed to go by quickly. I labored at home. I moved around. My water broke just as we were going through the gates to get on base (military). An hour and a half later… I was a mother. And he was perfect. And I felt like super woman. Like I could do anything. I birthed a baby, ok, that’s somethin‘.

The next two births left me with beautiful, perfect, healthy babies… and a little bit disillusionment of the medical world. I felt like this long, intensive, informative weekend helped in that aspect. Not that I now have unshakable faith in the medical community, but it was healing to hear of midwives, Drs, and nurses who have done things to protect the process I so fiercely believe in.

There is a secret in our culture and it is not that birth is painful but that women are strong.

-Laura Stavoe Harm

That is not to imply that if your labor didn’t go as planned, or it wasn’t what you wanted, that you are not strong enough. (Feel like that’s not a helpful quote for women? I can see why- read this.  The truth is that the quote actually is from an essay talking about how we need to talk more about our births. You can read about it here.)

After my weekend, I feel like that quote resonates. Even though I did not feel strong during the birthing of my last baby, looking back, faced with insurmountable odds and lack of support (outside of my  hubby and doula)… I birthed my baby. And that’s what really counts.


I Choose

There’s my sign. There’s your sign. As I begin another journey. I’m telling you, you can begin yours too. No matter what you’re doing, where you are, or who you are… there’s your sign. We’ve all been waiting for something, right?

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out who I am and what I want to be, or do, in this life. It’s good to know that no matter what point I’m at, it’s never too late to choose another route.

And so today I am leaping in, with both feet. A new horizon. A new career. A new start.

Today I am thankful for the people in my life who encourage, support, uplift, and call me to tell me to take a deep, cleansing breath. I am thankful that with them, and often because of them, I am strong. I am determined. I am starting anew. It may not have be the life I pictured as a little girl. But it is definitely the life I want as an adult. It’s been a journey to this point, but as of today, I am choosing my life. I am (continuing) to live with intention. And I’m being intentional about it.

*Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts! Cross your fingers, this is a big weekend for me! Full of lessons, note-writing, training, and probably not a lot of sleep! Plus Littlest will be spending two nights IN A ROW away. (For the first time.) I already miss him. Hubbyman has promised to tell the grandparents that they can drop Littlest off with his daddy at any point over the weekend. I know they won’t, but his words were comforting to my mama heart. May you all have a weekend filled with new adventures, incredible food, and unending wine bottles!


Here I Come!

Ok, ya’ll, we have a problem. I am in a bit of a panic over here. Have I mentioned that they had an opening for a Doula Workshop and I immediately got signed up? I’ve ordered all necessary books, done all necessary registration, and screeched with joy when hubbyman agreed I should do it!

For those of you wondering what a doula is, here is what wikipedia had to say about it:

a nonmedical person who assists a woman before, during or after childbirth, as well as her partner and/or family by providing information, physical assistance and emotional support.[1] The provision of continuous support during labour by doulas (as well as nurses, family or friends) is associated with improved maternal and fetal health and a variety of other benefits.[1][4]

In contrast to the goal of medical professionals (a safe childbirth), the goal of a doula is to ensure the mother feels safe and confident before, during and after delivery.[6] Doulas can be controversial within medical settings due to pressure on mothers to avoid medical interventions and pursue natural childbirth without an epidural or medically necessary caesarean sections.[7]

I have a couple comments in response to that… I’m glad they added that there’s improved maternal and fetal heath, along with other benefits. But I wish they wouldn’t have said “associated with.” Implying that it may or may not be true. It is true. There, I said it. Also, as far as #7 goes. It made me want to pull my hair out. No, Drs don’t always appreciate a doula, because if they are telling their patient something, they don’t really want anyone else to tell them otherwise.  But it is COMPLETELY (I can’t stress this enough) asinine to say that a doula would ever (and I mean ever) pressure a mother to avoid a medically necessary c-section!!! Would we want to exhaust all other options if there were a way around it? Obviously, because isn’t that better than a major surgery that has it’s own sets of risks and worries? (Yes, the correct answer is yes.) And doulas are not there to pressure the mother into anything. Usually a doula is there to provide the mother enough support that she has the birth that she wants, (sometimes) despite the hospital staff’s pressures. That was my experience.

I think I knew as soon as I became a mother that I wanted to do something more closely related to mothers and babies than a general early childhood development and education could give me. But I was a little caught up in my own world of mothering and babies to really think about my version of that with others. We greatly appreciated our doula with our firstborn (yes, my doula was my mother.) Hubbyman told anyone and everyone who would listen that they had to get a doula because it was that important, and made that much of a difference for him. I cannot stress enough the importance of having another person there to advocate for you and support you and your decisions.

After Littlest’s birth, I knew I needed to be a doula. I need to make sure that his birth story (or it’s fallout) does not happen to other women.

So here I am, just over 24 hours from my training weekend. And suddenly, I’m so nervous I could pee. Or cry. Despite how much I share on here, in real life… well let’s say I’m not as forthcoming. I’ve been viewed as stuck up, sometimes even snotty… at least in my teens. Not because that’s how I really am, but I remember this? I’m more introvert than extrovert. The class will be with about 20 other women. So while it’s a little more than a handful, it’s still small enough that it’ll be fairly intimate. I mean it’s three days of 1-9pm sessions. It means I’m probably going to have to talk, to someone. Maybe even in front of everyone. Yikes. Deep breaths. There’s a reason my “platform” is behind a computer screen and not in front of a live audience, folks. I’ve been flipping through all my doula, pregnancy, birthing, and breastfeeding books… because what if someone says something and I don’t know what they’re talking about? What if they look at me like the lady in the grocery store did? Ok, more deep breaths. I am a strong, intelligent woman and mother of three naturally born babies… this is something I want to do and can do.

Yesterday, I was clever

that’s why I wanted to change the world.

Today, I am wise

that is why I am changing myself.

-Sri Chinmoy

{inspired by the lovely Christine at Somethingville}

Today, I am letting myself feel my nerves. Today I am letting myself feel a little panicked. Today I am letting myself feel a little worried and scared. Tomorrow, I will grab myself by my bootstraps, get myself together, and be brave. I will look the other brave, likeminded women in the eye and talk to them openly. I will open my heart and mind to all the information they are willing to offer. Especially the instructor. I will see the change in myself.

And then, in a few short weeks, I will hold my sister (in-law)’s hand as I do all I can as her doula to make her birthing my nephew as uncomplicated, and wonderful as they deserve it to be. The thought of that gives me energy and encouragement.

Thank you for withstanding my little freak out session.  



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